Design

“I have been taught to filter.”

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My father always said that children were to be seen and not heard. I think of it often when I have a hard time finding my words. I think of it when I am angry and pissed and I struggle to keep my emotions in check, because when I am mad it is harder to use my words. I was not taught to use them. Since I knew to keep my mouth shut, I learned how to filter. If I ever made a bad choice, and got into trouble, then the potential punishment was in the form of his wooden fraternity paddle. That thing scared me. As did my dad’s disappointment.

I began to read voraciously when I was very young, and I started writing and illustrating my own stories too. Sometimes I wrote to get out of my world. Now I write to make sense of my world, to put the puzzle pieces together and try to understand it all. The thoughts and opinions I have of myself and how I perceive each situation. Did I handle it well? Did I react confidently and with poise? Or, did I go overboard and lose my cool? I remember a few classmates in college that impressed me with their writing ability. I can remember someone in particular that was able to put pen to paper about womanhood in the rawest of forms, and I never felt I could write like that.

So when I saw “Shrinking Women” it reminded me of my days studying Sociology, Women’s Studies, and Women’s Writing in college. While I was intensely into my studies, and at times felt like a hard-core feminist, I could never write poetry. I actually even had a hard time following poetry in general. Unless it was short and sweet, I was usually not interested. Lily Meyers, who wrote, “Shrinking Women” kept me listening. Maybe it is because I relate to her story. She won Best Love Poem at the 2013 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational last April, and is a 2015 future graduate of Wesleyan University (Middletown, CT).

Here are a few lines that stood out to me:

“My brother never thinks before he speaks. I have been taught to filter…You have been taught to grow out. I have been taught to grow in…I learned to absorb…That’s why women in my family have been shrinking for decades…How much space she deserves to occupy…I asked five questions in genetics class today and all of them started with the word: sorry.”

Lily will make you think about how women view their body and their space, and how your actions might make your sister, friend, daughter, or niece view their body and space. It gets good at around 1:25 minutes. Maybe her passion, youth, and talent will make other women get rid of their filters. Enjoy.

Need for speed

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In a meeting one day this week someone made the comment: “Addicted to Speed.” It really made me think. We are so extremely addicted to things that are fast and furious. Think about it for a moment. We get impatient when our smart phone does not sync our email fast enough, or when our internet speed is too slow one day. We may be on the phone with a colleague and they say they sent that document to us via email, and we wait on the phone watching our inbox until it arrives.

We cannot download content fast enough over the Internet, we hate waiting for HTML images to download from our email. If we want to view a photo on Facebook and our phone does not have the best signal we get frustrated. The need for speed. We so badly want to honk the horn when the car in front of us is not driving the speed limit. Yes I am the worst offender and often I am in the passenger seat. Note to all: husbands dislike when we try to use the horn when we are not driving.

We want the pot on the stove to cook faster, either because we are very hungry, or we have other things to do. We dislike automated voice controls because they are slow and frustrating and if we could just talk to a human we could be done with our phone call faster. We want the cashier to go faster, but we miss out on that moment in our day when we can just stand and breathe.

We tend to always want to move to the next best thing, and get their as fast as possible, whether we are competing with ourselves or someone else. Why has the world gotten so fast? What are we missing by going this pace? Will we learn to slow down and just appreciate the moment?

#whytheneedforspeed

Utterly Surprised…

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A few weeks ago we purchased new desks for our office. We love them. After having a variety of online ordering issues pertaining to bathroom towel rods, odd fitting clothes, and furniture arriving damaged, I tend to have no idea how a product will arrive to our home.

We found Blu Dot desks on Fab.com when they were having a half price sale. We had explored many options from local modern furniture stores, others that were made out of reclaimed wood, and a variety of desks online. I had seen the Blu Dot desks online a few times but did not want to spend the money. When we found the half price sale we were ecstatic because it meant we were basically getting two desks for the price of one. The desks arrived, were easy to put together (or so Chris told me), and we love them.

Fast forward to yesterday. I received a hand written card in the mail from Fab. It says:

“Hi Tami, I saw your recent Fab order, and I just had to reach out! I absolutely fell in love with your powder-coated white desktops! The combination of warm walnut and bright white steel accents really cuts a chic silhouette. 🙂 I hope that your order is an utter delight, but if there’s anything you find yourself needing, I and my fellow crackerjacks are here to make you smile – we’ll do what it takes! Get in touch anytime at support@fab.com or 877-463-4322. All the best, Tula/Fab Crackerjack”

I was shocked. It is 2013, and I just received a hand written thank you card from an online retailer. Yes, it is a sales tool, but one that takes the time of an employee and the cost of a stamp. A very nice touch.

Bravo, Fab, Bravo.

Poo-pourri

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Are you curious just by the title? Chris found it the other day and knew I would be interested. Are you? I know a variety of individuals that have quite different public bathroom habits. There are some that will never step foot inside a public toilet. Others could care less, when they have to go, they have to go (I am of that variety). Of course there are public bathrooms that I would not want to step foot in, but hey when nature calls, I have to answer. There are yet others that will only use a public restroom if there is no one else they have to share it with while doing their business. Which is hard, because it might be empty when you start, and then you might be joined by one or many more in the neighboring stalls.

So when Chris shared Poo-pourri, I had a nice laugh. Honesty, I am not sure I really care to travel around with a bottle of Poo-pourri. I care less about the smell left behind as I do an unclean restroom. Having said that, I am a tad bit curious if it works. They say you Spritz and then Poo, and the essential odors mask the smell. Is that really possible? You will have to watch and see what you think, it has a Mad Men vibe.

So curious now? Two of my favorite lines: “How do you make the world believe that your poop doesn’t stink?” and “When your little astronauts splash down and make contact.”

Scents to try: Trap-A-Crap, Royal Flush, Shittin’ Pretty, Party Pooper, Doody Free, Heavy Doody

Serial Comma User

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Are you a serial comma user? I am. Do you know what it means to be a serial comma user? I did a bit of research to figure out whether there was a right or wrong way (or a right side and a wrong side) of the serial comma discussion. There are two camps. The one that says you should use the comma and the one that says it is not necessary, but no clear direction either way. A few months ago I finished reading the book: “How to Not Write Bad” by Ben Yagoda. This is what he says about commas:

“In a series of three or more items, do you put a comma after the penultimate one (right before the and or or)? That’s another trick question. If you are writing for the Associated Press, the answer is no. If you are writing for the New Yorker or the Oxford University Press, the answer is yes. (The OUP is so well known for this protocol that it has come to be referred to as ‘the Oxford comma.’) If you’re writing for yourself, the key thing–as in style choices generally–is consistency: choose a style you like, and stick with it.” page 51

I prefer to add the extra comma for clarity sake, but some have been trained from earlier on in school or their career to handle the serial comma a specific way. It messes with me a bit because I feel that there should be a clear rule on serial comma usage. I know you may think, seriously, Tami is this what you think about? But when thinking about business or corporate communications one wants to follow a standard, but if there is no standard…what is one to do?

Here are a few different takes on serial comma usage. Wikipedia and then an article from NPR. I agree with Yagoda, that when writing for yourself to choose consistency, but I think it really should be the same at work, regardless of if you work for the Oxford University Press, or the Oregonian. Why am I for the comma before the and/or? I feel like when you are listing it, if there is no comma where there should be one that it groups the words together. I will give you and example from “Grammar Girl:”

“Here’s a sentence that could mean different things with and without the final comma: Rebecca was proud of her new muffin recipes: blueberry, peanut butter and chocolate chip and coconut. Without a serial comma, you can’t be sure whether the last recipe is a combination of peanut butter and chocolate chip or a combination of chocolate chip and coconut.”

It is the little things, but sometimes the little things build up over time. Right? What do you think?