“Secret Single Behavior”

Posted by random olio

A co-worker shared with a few of us yesterday that one of her favorite things to do when her fiance is off doing his own thing, is what she called her: “Secret Single Behavior.” It is taken from an episode of Sex and the City (Season 4, Episode 13: The Good Fight), and well it just made me grin from ear-to-ear today. I am not going to go into her own “Secret Single Behavior” but it made me think – what is mine? It sort of baffles me to even find an answer. Maybe that means I have been married too long. I thought about it a few times yesterday and even asked Chris. Here is my potential list:

_Go to a cafe on a Saturday or Sunday, order breakfast, coffee, bring my laptop, book, and journal and see where my heart takes me. Either read, write, or explore wherever my fingers take me on the Internet. I can stay as long as I like and not have to worry about someone waiting for me.

_Boutique hopping? Go to boutiques I have not been to in a while, get inspired by designers + artists and see where the inspiration takes me.

_Stay in my pajamas, go into my studio (empty bedroom) and paint until I lose track of time.

_Catch up with friends I have not seen in a while (whether in person, email, or over the phone).

_Organize my life in every way possible.

_Sometimes when Chris is gone for a week or so, I will go to the store and get food that he hates to eat. Selections have been: yogurt covered pretzels, popcorn, snickerdoodles. Ah, strange guilty pleasures.

So do you have them? Do you have “Secret Single Behaviors?” If so, what are they?

Fiber filled gratitude

Posted by random olio

“Gratitude is like fiber.” I love this line. It fills me up. Ha. No pun intended. It is a great visual reminder on days when things might feel murky. I have not had one of those days lately, but I know when they hit. You often wonder, “why me?” How did I get into this slump, or why do I have to go through this situation? No matter what lies before you, “Gratitude is like fiber” is the reminder you need. Right? If you are feeling off, or grumpy, or frustrated, look within and think about how much you are filled with gratitude, and if you are lacking in the fiber department, start bulking up. Add the lentils, black beans, brown rice of gratitude into your thoughts.

You can call me a Pollyanna all you want, but I think Kristin Armstrong has it right. Yes, I am still talking about her and her book: Mile Markers. This is my third blog post on this book, and there may be more. This is definitely my favorite book of 2014. Here is the full quote:

“I realized the power I had over my own thoughts. I could have a good or bad day simply by being more conscientious about choosing my mood. Gratitude is like fiber. Fill up on that and it takes up so much room that other things (like negative thinking, resentment, or pity) are crowded out. We are satiated. By focusing on what is, we forget to think about what is not. Even by being thankful for not having things that we don’t want, we are replete.” page 273

Just as we need to be more conscientious about selecting the food that fuels us (think fruits and vegetables, and not sugar and white flour) we can be just as selective about the thoughts we bring into our mind and how those thoughts impact our mood. I guarantee you that we all have more in our life than we can ever imagine, and if we just take time to think about all that good, we have less crevices in our thoughts to think about the bad.

I am sure I have mentioned this before in a blog, but I remember at probably one of the lowest times in my life as a kid: my dad was out of the picture, my mom in ICU, my sister and I living on our own, my sister sent me a Turkey Gram at school. Turkey Grams around Thanksgiving were purchased and brought to your classroom (almost like getting flowers or candy) and it felt special to be singled out with one. My Turkey Gram said: “It cannot get worse, it can only get better than we can ever imagine.” Whether my sister knew it or not, that was the fiber I needed to fill me and not give space to the life we were living.

How can you be your own fiber to fill you up with good, and what can you do to be the fiber in someone’s day?

One Month of No Poo

Posted by random olio

It is like training for a race, some days you think I cannot go out and train today, I am too tired, or I just do not have the energy. That is how I have felt as I continue to embark on my “no poo” journey. Recently I wrote a blog about my interest in going “no poo.” Yes, I am comparing not washing my hair with chemical shampoos, otherwise called “no poo,” with training for a race. I am a few days away from my 5th week of no poo. I really cannot believe that I have stuck with it this long. Well partly I can because I am usually not a quitter, but this has been tougher than I thought it would be. I have tried a few different concoctions to see what works best for my hair. So far this is the best routine:

Day 1: Wash with a mixture of honey and baking soda, work throughout hair, mostly at the scalp and not really on the ends. Rinse with water, then spritz apple cider vinegar + water mixture on as a conditioner, work through ends of hair, and rinse out. Usually I start out with straightening my hair on Day 1.

Day 2: No wash. Just refresh with a quick few moments with the hot iron. Second option: pull back into a pony tail.

Day 3: No wash. Usually pull into a pony tail, sometimes I will curl bottom half of hair, and pull back into pony tail.

Day 4: No wash. Definitely pull into pony tail. Sprinkle cornstarch at scalp and massage into hair if matted or looks wet/greasy. Cornstarch works wonders.

Day 5: Same as Day 4 or start over at Day 1.

Other concoctions I have tried: An aloe + coconut milk wash. Did not work too well. My hair was incredibly greasy. I had to wash immediately with baking soda. However, my hair was incredibly soft for the next few days. Might try again, knowing I will need to wash with baking soda afterwards. During my first week, I started out with a baking soda + water paste, and now have moved into using baking soda + honey, and I love how it makes my hair smell. Over the weekend I ordered some Rhassoul clay that can be used to wash hair but also used on skin. Using egg yolks is also on the list to try.

A boar bristle brush is also an important component of going no poo. Using it helps to bring the oils from your scalp down through to the ends of your hair. I have long hair, so it is a lot of work to brush. I even found out over the weekend that Mason Pearson is the coveted brush, a company that makes boar bristle brushes going back to 1885, selling today for $110-$325. Not sure I’m willing to drop that much for a hair brush though.

There are a lot of details to master, how to travel, how to wash with eggs, but not have cooked egg in your hair, the list goes on. I am learning a lot and I am sure Chris feels like the shower is starting to look like our refrigerator. I will keep you posted on my adventure.

A little something new…

Posted by random olio

After seeing my niece a week ago, I have to say I have baby on the brain. My good friend is also going to be a momma any day now. With all these precious munchkins on the mind this video just hit the spot for me. It brought tears the first time Chris showed it to me, and since then I continue to see it being shared all over different social networks. What is it about watching a belly grow over time, to inspire and remind us of the precious little one growing inside? I know, I know, some of you might think wow you sure have blogged about babies lately.

I am not sure if there are words to explain it. There was a connection with my niece a week ago, that has not left me. Maybe it is because it is my sister’s baby, but there is a love there that I cannot begin to explain. It makes me think how much stronger and how fierce will that love be when it is my little one that is welcomed to this world. I cannot yet imagine.

In the below video, the father, Tom Fletcher, who is the lead singer of British band “McFly” wrote the song “Something New.” His wife, Giovanna, was photographed each day while pregnant in the same outfit and they put it together in the below video.

I love the line: “I guess I’m ready, I think I’m ready, I hope I’m ready, for something new.” I think I might soon be ready for something new.

Badass self, no apologies

Posted by random olio

I love when people are wholeheartedly themselves. They say what is on their mind, and sometimes do not have a filter. I very much say what is on my mind, and while I do know when to have a filter in most situations, I am still blunt and say what I think. Last September I wrote a blog about being “Unapologetically herself.” It is my modus operandi. Why should we be anything other than who we are? Why should we hide our true selves?

Last week I wrote about the book: “Mile Markers.” After traveling and a full week, I can tell you I am now two-thirds done with this book, and have a zillion dog-eared pages. An idea jumped off the page at me when I was reading last night. It is from writer-comedian Katie Goodman that the author has framed on her desk:

“There will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case you must be your own badass self, without apology.”

I think I want to steal the idea and add it to the other thoughts and inspirations that sit above my desk. I am less worried about whether individuals will accept me and more interested in making sure I am being me. Life is short, YOLO (you only live once), so why should we not live each day as our badass selves? How and when did we start to apologize for ourselves? I try to think back to when I started apologizing for myself, and it is a blur. My dad raised us that children should be seen and not heard. Why, oh why dad was that important to you? It makes me want to bring together all my friends that have just had babies and say, please, oh please raise your children each day knowing their worth, and encourage them to live their lives to the fullest as their individual badass self.

Forget the nay sayers, the poo poo-ers, and those that discourage you in life. Let go of those that shut or knock you down, belittle you, or potentially throw you under the bus (as the saying goes). Lead your own life, if you do you will be strong and unflappable. I am not going to apologize for glorious me, and you should not either.

No apologies.