Giggles In Heaven

Posted by random olio

On Monday I wrote about the book: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong in this blog post. The blog I wrote was more on the funny and painful aspects to motherhood. Today I wanted to share the awww moments of motherhood. The parts that make you cling to your spouse with gratitude for this little life you brought into the world.

“The best part of my day was when Jon carried Leta back to the changing table after her bath, and she’d lay there wrapped in the towel, her hand shoved as far as she could get it into the back of her mouth. He’d lean down and pretend to eat her neck, causing her to laugh. And she laughed for him like she laughed for no one else, a full-body laugh that shook her belly and caused her to let go of her hand for a second. Her giggles would fill the house and echo through the baby monitor into the living room and out to the street. I imagined that those echoing giggles were what the background music in heaven sounded like.” Page 159

Aww. Giggles in heaven. I love the laughter and absolute uncontrollable giggle of a baby or toddler. You can continue to repeat what you are doing over and over again to have that same gut laughter continue. It. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever. And then Heather talks about the love for her spouse, Jon:

“In him I’d found the person whom I knew I would never get tired of, even in the most monotonous of times, even in the routine of being together every single day. I never thought I would find that.” Page 237

This is how I feel about Chris. Even if he is on the iPad dreaming about our future, and I am pounding out my next blog post on my laptop, while watching Michael Phelps swim the last Olympic event of his career, we are hanging out together. We look up and smile at each other and go back to our respective activities, my legs sprawled out on top of him. Aww the life. Can you tell how addicted I am to my husband? We live our life with giggles and laughter and maybe one day we will share those gut deep giggles with a little one. (Can you tell I am thinking very seriously about it!)

Again, I say, read Heather’s book. It is worth it. Okay I am done touting her book. You will not hear another peep about it.

Do You Stare?

Posted by random olio

Are you a gawker? I am the kind of person that assesses the room when she enters. Not so much to see where I feel comfortable, more because I am always reading people. I find people fascinating.

I may be found staring because I am watching how others listen to each other. Does everyone feel included? Are others bored? Is everyone intrigued? Is the energy of the room happy, dull, depressed, angry, lively? Does one individual have a way with words? Is someone a good story-teller? Does someone else have a wealth of knowledge and experience and others gravitate towards them because they have so much they can learn? Does another bring down the energy of the room because of their negative comments and attitude? All of these questions intrigue me and swirl through my thought in different group interactions.

I may also be watching the room because I am exploring the clothes, shoes, hair, etc. Not in any judging way, but because I find style, color, and clothes interesting. Whether for the combination of how others put an outfit together, to interesting jewelry, or shoes. I love the comfort of a pair of jeans, to the odd and extravagant shoe. You will never get me in a pair of high heels, but you can find me in a pair of flip flops any day or a pair of running shoes. I like to be mostly flat and grounded in this world.

I was reading a book on friendship the other day and the author called herself a ‘gawker.’ Am I a gawker, or do I just take an interest in people? I think I will go with the latter.

In Austin, staring down to the street, where there were cops galore

Cheeseburgers and Staples

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong. I could not stop saying: “Chris, Chris, I have to read this to you.” I might have to write about this book a few times because of just how blunt and hilarious Heather writes. Sometimes it is that potty humor that makes her funny, and sometimes it is in that I-relate-that-would-be-me kind of way.

In her book she takes you from trying to conceive, to her pregnancy, to the first 9 months of her baby girl’s life. She talks about her struggles with staying sane (literally) and what moms go through to not lose it. Maybe I can relate more right now because I am thinking so much about motherhood, but if you are a mother, or are thinking about taking that step, or just want a good laugh, then read on.

“An then, in what was one of the most memorable moments of the pregnancy, the ultrasound technician pointed to an unrecognizable shadow on the monitor and said, “See that cheeseburger? That means it’s a girl.” And then he circled her cheeseburger for emphasis. Jon had been holding my hand to give me strength to hold my pee, but right then he let go and cupped his tear-stained face, “You have a very important job,” he said, looking at me with the eyes I had fallen in love with. “You’re going to have to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.” Page 39

I love this. It just made me smile. The next excerpt I want to share has to do with breast-feeding and what it feels like for a woman to breast feed. Men, yes please keep reading. I think it is worth it for you to know her explanation. Not that you do not respect women for what they have to go through to breast feed a child, but her description I think will take your respect to a new level.

“The only way to describe it to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang it a couple hundred staples. The first two staples might hurt a little, but after that it just becomes numb, right? And by the eighty-eighth staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves again on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.” Page 83

I have more to share, but I think I will save it for another post. The other ideas are more for the soft side of parenting, but I thought I would first start with cheeseburgers and staples. Go. Read. Her. Book.

What Are Your Love Languages?

Posted by random olio

Have you read the book: The Five Love Languages? by Gary Chapman. It is a slow book, but the ideas in it are ones that apply to romantic and platonic relationships. I read it a few years ago, but constantly refer to it in conversations. It has continued to be a great way to dive into relationships and how others relate to each other, whether in a good relationship, a new relationship, or one that is struggling.

The background on his book is that we each have a language with how we feel most loved. Take for example your significant other (if you have one, if not then replace with your good friend, or a family member). Think about what you feel they need to feel most loved. I will list below the five love languages. I will say this again: The key is to think about what THEY most need that makes them feel loved. Try to come up with the top two out of the five. Once you have figured out what their top two are, think about what your top two are – what makes you feel the most loved?

The five love languages are:

Gift Giving
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service

You can find more details and definitions of each of the love languages at the above link. My top two languages of love are: Quality Time and Acts of Service. This means when Chris knows I have had a rough day and it is not over yet, that if he takes care of some chore he knows I will try to do even if I am operating on 10% energy, it will make me feel loved. He knows that my language (Acts of Service) means he is thinking about me and what I need without even asking me.

I also really appreciate quality time with each other. These days with all that we have on our plates, quality time is such an important language of love. It says I care and love you enough to put down my phone, turn off the TV, shut my computer and focus on you. You may or may not have the same love language as your significant other. What is important for me is that I know what his love languages are and that I focus on how to show him love through his love languages.

a photo from a friend.

What are your love languages? Have you shared your love languages with others? It is an important conversation for others to know how to best love you!

Delicious Ambiguity, 4-H, and Aprons

Posted by random olio

I love finishing a good book. It always inspires me of the possibilities of what has not been written. Since each of us have such an individual experience there are infinite outputs to what can be encapsulated in new books. So when I find one that leaves a smile on my face and a bit of inspiration in my life, I have to share!

“Apron Anxiety” by Alyssa Shelasky is a memoir about a woman who falls in and out and in love with food. Her book is not entirely about food, and it is not written in a way that makes you feel like she is a die-hard foodie either. It is perfect for those of us that tread on the perimeter of food and the foodie world. She starts out as many might, timid. She eventually jumps in with her entire soul. What it did for me was make me want to TRY. While I am a confident baker, I am not a confident cook. When I was young I was in 4-H. Yes, the summer program that makes you think of raising cattle and pigs. For me it meant summers learning how to sew and bake. It was just something I did. I do not think I knew whether it was cool or not to be part of 4-H. I rode my bike to a local high school, daily for a few weeks and learned, tried, laughed, and made new friends while exploring an oven and the frustrations of a sewing machine.

I have not forgotten those summers. The baking programs I was involved in meant I learned over the course of five summers to make cookies, muffins, cakes, breads and yeast rolls. For sewing, I learned how to hem, make darts, button holes, hook and eyes, zippers, skirts, tops, dresses, etc. While I do not make my clothes, I still remember how. What has stuck with me the most is what I learned baking. “Apron Anxiety” has made me want to try to tread water in the world of cooking. I had a thought last week, that just maybe if I one day am preggers and at home with a little one, that I might want to try my hand at cooking. Here is my setback. I have horrible timing. I can make a lot of things in the kitchen. What I fail at is making them ready at the same time. If I steam broccoli, it is never ready when my entrée is ready. So that is my test. Can I find a way to time things so that I can make the parts of a meal ready to savor at the same time?

Here are two of the quotes in “Apron Anxiety” that really resonated with me:

“I will always meet people who don’t like me, or don’t get me, who think I’m dressed like a high-class hooker or raised by wolves. But as all women I’ve ever admired would say, “At least you’re interesting enough that someone gives a shit.” Which reminds me: There will always be people who think I’m not interesting enough at all.” page 226

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it…Delicious ambiguity.” page 236 (a Gilda Radner quote)

I definitely recommend adding “Apron Anxiety” to your list of books to read. It is a fun, light-hearted, and inspiring read! Here is to starting my future delicious ambiguity and to hell with those that do not think I am interesting!