I do it all for me.

Posted by random olio

There are not many things in life that we get to do all for ourselves. There is one thing I do each day for me. It is my zen at the end of the day. It is my moment to breathe and process what happened each day. It is just for me. It is my daily run. Multiple times in the past few months I have had individuals ask me why I work out. Do I do it for myself? To lose weight? For Chris?

I run all for me. I work out to take care of me, to stay healthy and fit. I do it because it is the one hour of my day that is entirely for me. I can make the choice to just listen to music, or to read (yes I read while I run on the treadmill), or to zone out and meditate. It is my time. At the end of the day it does not matter how much I weigh, or the tone of my body, it matters how I feel about myself. Am I confident about who I am and how I treat others? Yes. That is what matters, not the curves or the sag of what the years have done to my body.

I am a health nut. My parents passed on when they were in their 50’s. I never once remember seeing my parents workout. Of course, my dad being a contractor had plenty of physical activity, but I never saw them consciously focus on what they ate, or specifically thinking about physical fitness. I want to be different. I want to be active. I want to think about what I put into my body. Is it good fuel, or crappy sugar that does nothing to give me energy throughout my day?

What do you do all for you? I hope there is something.

Everyone wants to be loved

Posted by random olio

Over the past few weeks I keep thinking about how we all just want to be loved. I see it in interactions with friends, coworkers, family, and strangers. Sometimes I think you can see it in their eyes, the craving, the desire, the want. We each in our own way crave connection, want to feel needed, included, heard, and seen.

What if you responded to the person that annoys you the most in your day with love? Truly. I mean it. What if you decided to listen to and focus on them? You might find that their attitude actually shifts and you find that you like them more than you thought. It is definitely possible that they will continue to bug you, but maybe, just maybe, things will change.

I can think of a few individuals that I know that annoy a few other individuals that I also know. When I look at the “annoyer” I often see a strong desire to feel included. They only want to be part of the gang, listened to, and accepted. It feels like they try too hard, and it rubs others the wrong way. It makes me wonder if I ever exhibit those same tendencies when I do not feel part of a group.

I have been trying to watch my thoughts when someone bugs me. I stop for a second and ask myself if their actions have more to do with something I do not like, or if really they are acting out of a strong desire to feel included. Just because someone wants to feel included does not always mean we have to give them exactly what they want, but we can be more empathetic to them.

Are you listening and sharing the love?

Fresh grown tomatoes

Posted by random olio

I have just grown my first tomatoes.

I know I am light years behind most folks, especially Barbara Kingsolver, who wrote “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” but you see I never really liked tomatoes too much. Yes, I like some ketchup for my fries, I enjoy a tasty red sauce, and of course there is whatever tops my pizza, but raw tomatoes were never my thing. Until recently. I cannot remember what the turning point was this summer, but I started eating cherry tomatoes with mozzarella, basil, and olive oil. Yes, I know it is called caprese salad. But, you see, I always had caprese sans tomatoes, and now I have the complete shabang. Maybe I’m a late bloomer.

In June of this summer I purchased a tomato starter at our local farmer’s market. I was excited for all the bounty it would bring us this summer. It is called “Oregon Spring” and was developed by Oregon State University. My $3 starter has yielded 3 tomatoes. As a late bloomer to tomatoes, and as a non-green thumb, I am stoked. Although I have to confess, Chris has watered them every day, so really he should be the proud farmer.

As you can see from the first photo, the first tomato is ready, and we cut into it last night. While some of you may say it is a sin to put it into a caprese salad, remember that I am a late bloomer. Baby steps. I still have to learn what varieties are good to grow for what types of eating, just like what types of wine are best to drink with which foods. Ah, there is so much to learn in the world, right?

I am off to gloat about my bounty, however small it may be.

Look people in the eye

Posted by random olio

I have a thing about looking other people in the eye. When you meet someone for the first time, you shake their hand, and you look them in the eye. It is just what should be done. No one taught me that, no one told me that is what should be. I was taught more about the strong hand shake rather than about someone’s eyes. Yet, it is what connects me with another and it is what can irk me about someone.

When I meet a new person and their eyes wander or if they can never make direct eye contact with me for those few moments, I become uneasy. I wonder why they do not want to look at me. I think of those moments as a time when you can learn so much about another person. It is not like you are truly looking into their soul, but to me you can tell so much in those few moments. Are they comfortable around me? Do they have something to hide? Are they being honest with their self? Do they have something to hide from me specifically?

I remember a few strange eye contact interactions when I met one specific woman. The place and details do not matter. What matters is that going into the introductions I already did not trust her. The details I had heard about her made me think that I should be aware of what I said and how I shared certain things from my life. Then her eyes told me that I should trust my intuition. She could not make eye contact with me. What that tells me is be careful, this person might not be trustworthy. Walk carefully, and watch what you say. Sometimes people are just so in their own worlds that they do not have any idea how they bring themselves into a conversation and so you have to take everything with a grain of salt, but watch another’s body language. Watch how they shake your hand, how they look at you, or how they do not look at you. It can tell you a lot about a person.

What do you think?

Is there always a silver lining?

Posted by random olio

Does everything have a silver lining? If you are a glass half full kind of person you might think that there is a silver lining in everything. Maybe it is all in how you approach a situation. You could have a frustrating experience with a friend or family member and choose to look at it for all the things that might be negative or wrong, or you can choose to look at it as an opportunity.

While we cannot change another person, and often we cannot change a situation, we can change how we look at the situation. Is it a moment to stand up for what you believe in? Is it now the time to say what you are really thinking? Or is it a time to stay quiet and let the other individual(s) work it out on their own? Maybe you are the type of person to always fix things for others, and maybe you have to take a break from that and let someone learn in their own way.

I think we can be in strange situations many times in our lives. Maybe we are stuck in a job we hate, or have struggled to tell a friend that we no longer want them in our life. Whatever the situation, the silver lining is often what we learn, and what we do not know. For example, you could hate your job, and struggle to understand why you keep interviewing but continue to not get the job. If that is your situation and you are reading this right now, you might say, “Tami you are crazy, there is no silver lining.” The silver lining is what you learn: more patience, persistence, perseverance, and maybe even the people skills to put yourself out there, to dig deep and fight for where you want to be. Not everything we do in life is easy.

Is it time to find the silver lining?