Which doors to open…

It has been a while since I have written about a book I have read. Two reasons: I have not had the time to read as many books lately, and I have not read as many books that have inspired me. However, over Thanksgiving I read a novel that I could not put down. It is called: “The Time Between” by Karen White. I am not even sure where to start in explaining this complex storyline.

It is about two sisters (Eve and Eleanor), their stories of loss, anger, longing, and forgiveness. One is in a wheelchair, and the other does everything she can to take care of her sister. She works long hours in an investment banking firm, plays the piano at night to bring in more money. The other sister sews gowns in her wheelchair. Such pieces she herself would have worn in past beauty pageants. Music is weaved throughout the story, second chances, and the beauty of an island. Of course there is so, so, so much more to the story, but I do not want to ruin it for you. There is one line near the end of the book that I had to share with you:

“There is how we were before, and how we are now, and the time between is spent choosing which doors to open, and which to close.” page 319

I thought this was the perfect morsel of insight from the book. White discusses this in different ways throughout the book. She is right. So often we are stuck in how we were before, that we cannot be okay with where we are now. As White alludes to throughout the book, there are many doors to which we can open or close and the choice is 99% ours to make. Do we forgive someone and move on, or do we stay stuck in what they have done to us? Can we get over the one that did not choose to love us, so that we can be present and ready for the one that we will love so deeply? Such good ideas for really anyone. Even with the sisterhood theme, it did not feel like chick lit to me. Just a great novel, and really I can see it made into a movie.

Open a new door. Take a few hours to read “The Time Between.” It is worth it.

Hurley Customer Service Rocks!

I am a diehard customer service nut. What does that mean? I love, love, love when I have kickass customer service, AND you do not want to be on the other end of the phone with me if you are not providing me with excellent customer service.

Recently Chris and I purchased jackets from Hurley. While we did not purchase matching jackets, they are a similar style and are made of the same material. After we each wore our jackets once, we found that a part on my jacket was unstitched and that Chris’ pocket was not sewn correctly. He contacted their customer service to let them know and see what they could do for us. I was expecting them to tell us that we needed to send it back to them, and once they received it they would send a replacement to us.

This was their response:

Hi Christopher,

I apologize about your jacket! I have went ahead and processed an exchange for a replacement jacket to be sent out to you. Please just ship back your defective item to the below address, and write the below Return # anywhere on the outside of the box that you send it back in. I have credited your account used for the order $8.00 to cover shipping costs for you to ship this item back to us, if it is more than this, please save your receipt and send us a photo and we will credit you the difference. Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns.

Hurley Customer Service

Rock on, Hurley. Not only are they sending us a new one immediately, they also credited our credit card for the $8 right away. We were not expecting such great service, and wish that more companies would take their lead from Hurley.

Black Friday sucks

If you are reading this at home, it means you have not left home to brave Black Friday crowds. If you are reading this on your phone while trying to pass the time in line at a big box store in order to get some crazy deals, then you are brave. Maybe you are home and online waiting for that right moment to click “place order” for that bargain Black Friday deal. Hopefully if you are out shopping, it is at your local boutique because you like supporting your neighborhood business.

If you are like me, you are hiding from it all. A colleague from Japan was asking about Black Friday last week. We told her about crazy Americans who trample each other for discounts on TVs, electronics, you name it. A new bra, toilet paper, a trash can? We are crazy!

A week ago Chris was in Hong Kong and happened to be near an Apple store when the new iPad Air was launching. CRAZY. Take a look at the picture taken from outside, and to think that he actually went inside to check it out from the inside. Look at all those people. It is similar to Black Friday craziness in the US.

In all seriousness though, you have to read this Huffington Post article about Black Friday, capitalism, and consumerism. It is so well written, and a good reminder that we really need to get control of the consumerism that is eating into Thanksgiving. Let’s leave gratitude and family for Turkey Day, and let’s leave shopping to Black Friday. We saw that an outlet mall in Washington opened at 10 am on Thanksgiving and would not close again until 11 pm on Friday night. Why? Why? Why? I agree with the author, if we do not shop for that deal for socks on Thanksgiving, they will stop opening on Thanksgiving. Let their employees be with their families.

#SeriouslyAnnoyedAboutBlackFriday

Making Change Happen

I am a strong believer that if you go the extra mile, try a bit harder, and imagine big possibilities that you are on the path to shifting thought and making change. I do not like to keep things at the status quo. I like to push the envelope just a bit. Not too much that people cannot handle it, but just enough that hopefully we move others a bit closer to a better situation. It takes quite a bit of work, dedication, perseverance, and often a lot of push back to those that do not want to change. Oh, yes, and a lot of accountability.

How often do we stay in a job that does not challenge us because it is just easier to stay, because we are afraid to change things? I have been in that very situation, and I can tell you first hand, leaving was the best thing for me. It might sound cliché, but that change and my willingness to say okay life this is where things are at, bring it on, has led me to many, many opportunities, and tons and tons of cool people along the way. Individuals who challenge me, inspire me, comfort me, and make me laugh. They are in my life because my life changed.

Have you ever avoided having a conversation because it is easier? Tough conversations are exhausting, they zap us of energy, and often times make us want to run the other way. But we get through them, and each one changes us. Change often is swirling in my thought because it is a big part of the work I do each day. Helping others adapt to change, preparing them for change, and sustaining the change. So when Seth Godin’s blog on change called: “Every presentation worth doing has just one purpose” was finally reached in my inbox (I am so very behind on emails, blog reading, and the general news happening in the world), I thought, oh Seth you are speaking to my thoughts. He says: “A presentation that doesn’t seek to make change is a waste of time and energy.” I thought wow, if we only thought about that ALL the time, maybe our day-to-day meetings would be more engaging and inspiring.

I am going to try to approach my work in that way. How can I move the bar closer to success for others, closer to understanding their role, closer to having change stick? I usually try to approach projects thinking: what would success look like? But what if now I spend a bit of time before each presentation, and assess what change I might want to happen? How would I approach the presentation differently? Can I present in a way that means I will be able to plan what I need to do to get individuals to shift their thought?

I think we all can.

What you say and do matters

It can feel like what you do in a day probably does not make much of an impact on others. You go about your routine, doing similar things each day. Your reaction and response to most events makes you feel like it is the “same old, same old.” It hit me recently that whatever story we tell ourselves about our impact is most likely bullshit (well if we are talking ourselves down).

I see it all the time at work. A colleague takes an extra step and picks up the phone to handle a nasty customer (instead of emailing) sings to them, and generally adds cheer to their day. That leaves a lasting impact. You leave an impact each day, by not reacting, by sharing your thoughts and opinions in a meeting, by reaching out with love and care. It is hard to know you have left a mark, is it not? We do not get to be omniscient to find out where the seeds we share get planted. Sometimes a seed makes its way back to us and we can see that the day we spent extra time with someone, showed them that they matter. We just do not always know.

All of this made me start to think of keeping a mantra at the forefront of my thought. It sounds a bit self-centered, but hear me out. “I IMPACT.” Just that. If we remember that in everything we do we have an impact, we then realize that when we are nasty on the phone with a customer service agent we just left an impact on them and their day. I really have to remember that. There are times when I have had to call a company more than a dozen times to resolve an issue and by that thirteenth time I lose it (well honestly probably earlier than the thirteenth call). What if I got to a place that I never lose my cool? Why? Because we have an impact in everything we do.

If we remember “I IMPACT” then hopefully we leave those we encounter with a positive, cheerful, uplifting mood. Good and bad interactions create a lasting memory, but maybe we all should work a bit harder to leave the good memory. At the grocery store, at work, with our spouses, kids, and family. I know it may feel like a lot of pressure, but it is food for thought.

#iimpact