What does your internal mirror say?

Posted by random olio

Tears in my eyes. This video has been going around Facebook. It is the Dove Campaign: “Real Beauty Sketches.” At first I hesitated to watch it because I have seen so many Dove commercials about women and beauty, but then I could not resist. Everyone (men and women) should watch this video. A sketch artist listens to a woman, and then draws how he hears her explain her face. The woman leaves the room and meets with another woman. The second woman comes into the room and describes the first woman to the sketch artist and he draws what she tells him. Later the first woman looks at both drawing renditions of her. There is a stark contrast. The one that she describes is usually not as attractive or thin as how the second woman described her. Interesting right?

We need to have more confidence in ourselves. We are beautiful. We are unique. We matter. At times I think that women were not trained or raised to brag about ourselves, we only learned to cut ourselves down. There were many years in my life that I was just that way. Later, when I found my voice in college, and I started to talk out loud and speak up, my confidence in who I am grew. I stopped caring what other individuals thought of me and my body. Remember we are each badass and beautiful women. Start telling the story of your gorgeous smile, laugh lines, bright eyes, and clear skin. You are perfect just the way you are right now. Bring that self in all you do.

“You are more beautiful than you think.”

Friends, Cribbage, and a Phone #?

Posted by random olio

Last week, I met a friend at a local bar to hang out and play Cribbage. Yes, you heard me right, Cribbage. Do you know the game? My father taught me when I was in elementary school. I wanted to learn so that I could play with him. Knowing how to play his favorite games meant that was more time I could spend with him, which as I remember was not too often. There are a few activities you could do 1:1 with him. Circle word puzzles and cribbage were top on his list. Over the years I would play here and there and after a long stint of not playing I would have to refresh my memory. Somehow it is like riding a bike, it always comes back to me.

handmade cribbage board

Which is why I was happily surprised when two different waiters and a bartender walked by our table outside (thank you Portland heat lamps) and asked about our Cribbage game. They actually knew what we were playing. They even commented on my beautiful Cribbage board (purchased at the Portland Saturday Market). What is it about the game of Cribbage that piques the interest of others? One waiter mentioned watching his grandfather and father playing on the beach. He said he had a very specific image in his head, stated to us with a smile on his face.

I would like to tell you that we finished our game and I kicked my friend’s butt, but we never finished our game. Instead we talked about life, love, and included a few 15, 2 and 15, 4’s in the mix. (Savvy Cribbage players will understand).

Word to the wise, for those of you looking for a date. If you live in Portland, bring along a Cribbage board. The three men that stopped us were not to shabby (don’t worry I told Chris). I think a deck of cards, some pegs, and a nice handmade board might be just the way to get an extra wink and maybe a phone number.

#cribbagelove

Fight for it. Bring it.

Posted by random olio

Over the weekend I was penciling in my calendar a friend’s art show coming up in June. I decided to check out the website of the gallery where her show will be held and found this show. What a clever idea, be sure to click the show link for a full image. I have included a bit of the text here as it is hard to read on the left side of the photo:

WHAT DO YOU FIGHT FOR? Whether it’s in a cage, for the rights of others, or just for her attention, we are all fighting for something

I fight for _______

It made me think about and ponder what I fight for. What does it mean to fight for something? Do the people or things you fight for have levels or degrees to how much effort you give? Do some people receive the tall or grande effort while others might get the venti or Big Gulp? If there are ranges, then are you really fighting for those that only receive the grande effort? This is the list that came to me:

I fight for: my husband, my family and friends, women’s rights, literacy, children to eat healthy and be active on a daily basis, integrity, an hour a day to run (= sanity), fairness, equality…the list goes on.

However, I am not sure my list should go on. If I were being honest with myself, my husband would receive the infinite beverage size of my energy. Mess with my husband and you have to deal with me. Yes, he can completely take care of himself, and does not need me to get involved, but that does not mean that my competitive, fighting self will not lose all control against someone who tries to mess with my better half. So does that mean I do not think that childhood obesity is not worth fighting for? No. It is about the effort I give out. I would go to combat to fight for my husband, and while I am passionate about childhood obesity, it is not the same level of fight that I would have for Chris.

Have you thought about which things in your life you want to fight for? When the opportunity presents itself, do you really fight for them?

Letter to Sheryl Sandberg

Posted by random olio

I have not really followed Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO) or her new book that was just released. Last week on Facebook I saw this quote and had to share it. Maybe I like it because I was a bossy little girl. Go Sheryl.

Then I found this letter to Sheryl Sandberg from Daily Worth founder, Amanda Steinberg, and I had to share as I agree with the letter. In it, she mentions a TIME magazine cover story, where Sandberg says of her husband: “He manages our money,” she says. “I have essentially no interest.” (page 5 of the TIME article). This comment is what Steinberg is reacting to in her letter.

Each and every woman should have a stake in and understanding of their personal finances. It does not mean that we always understand everything 100%, but we should try. I know too many women, that make a good living and would willingly turn over their hard-earned income to the man in their life, because they do not understand how to manage their finances. Please stop.

I know that it might be the easy way out, but you are not doing yourself any service by giving your money over to the man in your life. You are giving away your power. I would be the first to say that I do not always understand each and every part of our finances or retirement accounts. There are often little details that confuse the crap out of me, but the key is that I try to make sense of it. I want to know. I do not give up my power to my husband. We share the responsibility of our finances and make each and every decision together.

So in light of Sheryl Sandberg, and her great success as a woman, I encourage all women out there regardless of income level to care about their finances. It does not mean that you have to manage your finances day-to-day, just care about understanding them. You might pay someone to manage your finances, your husband might handle them, but set up a time each week or month to review your finances with whoever is handling them. Make a point to understand how much you are spending, and how you are saving. If you do not, to me it is like having someone take care of your children, yet you do not know their style. Which means you do not really know what is happening, right? I agree with Steinberg, all women should feel confident managing their money so that they are able to live life on their own terms.

What do you think?

Don’t be a lady

Posted by random olio

There are many days where I am not a lady. I often like to think of myself as one who can hang with the guys. I can. Yet, I am all woman. One of my favorite quotes is: “Well behaved women rarely make history.” I like to think that I am one of those women who is not well-behaved. How do I do that? Well I do not like the status quo. I say what is on my mind. I like to challenge others to look at things differently. Sometimes I behave, and sometimes I do not.

Recently I found this quote from a commencement address given by Nora Ephron, where she was speaking to her alma mater, Wellesley, in 1996:

“Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.”

Go Nora. I agree. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that I am a feminist, a strong proponent and supporter of women’s issues. While some may think that women have it all, that we are equal to men, but in case you live in that bubble, we are not. Women still need to work together to speak up against pay inequality, gender bias, abuse against women, the list goes on. As Nora said in 1996, we need to break the rules, make a little trouble, and do it for women.

So I ask you, what are you doing to break the rules? Do you behave, or do you take a stand against gender issues? Do you raise your voice, speak out, and get others out of their bubble? Stop behaving and make history!

#Stopbeingalady