Women

More Bang For Your Buck

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Recently I posted about: All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending, by Laura Vanderkam. One of the things she mentions is that the average cost of an engagement ring today is: $5,392. Wow. That could be a used car for some folks. Add the engagement ring to the cost of the wedding itself (flowers, dress, reception, food, venue, etc). It adds up quickly. My question is – is it all necessary? Chris and I got married on a beach in Hawaii for basically the cost of a honeymoon. Even doing that, it was expensive, but it was nothing like what the cost could have been if we had a traditional wedding + a honeymoon. I appreciate what Laura says in her book:

“With the same $5,392 the average couple spends on an engagement ring, a set of new parents could pay a babysitter $50 a night for 107 nights so they could have time to themselves or go neck in their car like teenagers. The $12,124 The Knot reports the average couple spends on a reception venue could cover a $100 housecleaning service, twice a month, for the entire five years many two-kid couples spend in that sticky stage when children spill milk just to see what will happen. The average $1,988 florist and decor bill could be doled out, instead, as 198 thinking-of-you $10 bouquets–a once-a-month gesture of love for a solid 16.5 years.” page 22

Laura also talks about what would bring more joy to your marriage. Does the American Dream and picket fence really make you satisfied? Or are you more interested in traveling and learning about other cultures? If so, are you paying more for a car or home then you really need? Are you doing it because it makes you happy, or is it because it is what you think you should be doing? What is more responsible? What causes you less stress? I often think of things pertaining to money in terms of justification. If I do not buy this now, I will have enough money for something else later. Much like what Laura mentions about $1,988 in flowers could give you 198 $10 thinking of you bouquets a month for 16.5 months. What has more bang for your buck?

We have so many different ideas and options  before us. Are we asking the questions of what is best for us and our families, or are we making choices just to keep up with the Jones’? Do we really need the big elaborate wedding, or engagement ring, or are we best prepared if we put that money towards our future? Or towards our emergency funds?

What do you think?

Delicious Ambiguity, 4-H, and Aprons

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I love finishing a good book. It always inspires me of the possibilities of what has not been written. Since each of us have such an individual experience there are infinite outputs to what can be encapsulated in new books. So when I find one that leaves a smile on my face and a bit of inspiration in my life, I have to share!

“Apron Anxiety” by Alyssa Shelasky is a memoir about a woman who falls in and out and in love with food. Her book is not entirely about food, and it is not written in a way that makes you feel like she is a die-hard foodie either. It is perfect for those of us that tread on the perimeter of food and the foodie world. She starts out as many might, timid. She eventually jumps in with her entire soul. What it did for me was make me want to TRY. While I am a confident baker, I am not a confident cook. When I was young I was in 4-H. Yes, the summer program that makes you think of raising cattle and pigs. For me it meant summers learning how to sew and bake. It was just something I did. I do not think I knew whether it was cool or not to be part of 4-H. I rode my bike to a local high school, daily for a few weeks and learned, tried, laughed, and made new friends while exploring an oven and the frustrations of a sewing machine.

I have not forgotten those summers. The baking programs I was involved in meant I learned over the course of five summers to make cookies, muffins, cakes, breads and yeast rolls. For sewing, I learned how to hem, make darts, button holes, hook and eyes, zippers, skirts, tops, dresses, etc. While I do not make my clothes, I still remember how. What has stuck with me the most is what I learned baking. “Apron Anxiety” has made me want to try to tread water in the world of cooking. I had a thought last week, that just maybe if I one day am preggers and at home with a little one, that I might want to try my hand at cooking. Here is my setback. I have horrible timing. I can make a lot of things in the kitchen. What I fail at is making them ready at the same time. If I steam broccoli, it is never ready when my entrée is ready. So that is my test. Can I find a way to time things so that I can make the parts of a meal ready to savor at the same time?

Here are two of the quotes in “Apron Anxiety” that really resonated with me:

“I will always meet people who don’t like me, or don’t get me, who think I’m dressed like a high-class hooker or raised by wolves. But as all women I’ve ever admired would say, “At least you’re interesting enough that someone gives a shit.” Which reminds me: There will always be people who think I’m not interesting enough at all.” page 226

 “Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it…Delicious ambiguity.” page 236 (a Gilda Radner quote)

I definitely recommend adding “Apron Anxiety” to your list of books to read. It is a fun, light-hearted, and inspiring read! Here is to starting my future delicious ambiguity and to hell with those that do not think I am interesting!

Running, Vacation, and Turtles

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Happy Monday! I just got back from a week of vacation and so rolling out of bed this morning was not easy. I had a wonderfully relaxing time. Sleeping, eating, floating on the lake, waterskiing, playing with my niece and nephew, having good conversations with family, meeting new people, time with my hubby, and getting upgraded to First Class on my flight home. All good. All fun. All on vacation. One of the things I loved were my runs while away. I have been thinking about running a 1/2 marathon. Currently I am running 6-8 miles a day. On the treadmill. While reading. It makes me a bit apprehensive when I have no choice but to run outside. What will it be like? Will I be able to handle just listening to music, and not reading while I run? I was happily surprised this time. I never stopped. I never got tired. I ran mostly 7 miles a day, with hills, 90 degree temperatures plus humidity.

view from my run

view from run #2

What made me do it? My Nike+ app. The Nike+ app lets you listen to music while running, tracks your run, and talks to you when you hit each mile marker. I know. I know. It is a simple thing an app can do. I just have never used it. It changed my run. The app told me how fast I was going and how far I had gone and knowing that pushed me to run harder and faster. Last summer without the app, I found I would randomly walk, or feel tired. This time having the ability to compete against myself meant I ran better. Thank you, Nike.

baby turtle run day 1

medium-sized turtle day #6

These are the turtles I found in the middle of the road during my run. On my second loop they were not to be found and no smooshed turtle either, so they had crossed the road unharmed. So grateful for my runs, my view, my music, and my Nike+ app!

Have a great week!

Record Number of Women on the US Olympic Team

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I have been looking forward to the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics that happen in London tonight. I rarely ever watch any TV live, with the exception of the Super Bowl and the Opening Ceremony for the Olympics. It will be interesting to see what London has up their sleeves to wow us this year. I can still remember the opening ceremonies in Beijing. Incredible visuals that are still in my memory.

What I am really excited about is that the women are BRINGING it this year! For the first time ever, there are more women than men on the US Olympic team. There are 269 women and 261 men. You can learn more by reading this article by Marlo Thomas in the Huffington Post. Marlo is right, it is amazing that on the year of the 40th Anniversary for Title IX, that more women than men are on the Olympic team. Pretty cool.

Here is an excerpt with details that must be shared (in case you decide not to read Marlo’s article):

“With the introduction of women’s boxing this year, there is no Olympic event left that is exclusively for men. And with Saudi Arabia sending two women to the London Games, for the first time in history, all participating nations will have female Olympians competing.”

I love what Marlo says:

“But who will be the breakout stars of the gymnastics and soccer teams? Who will amaze and inspire us this time? Who will come to symbolize the very essence of their sport — and in doing so, inspire millions of girls around the world to go for their dreams?”

I hope the Olympics do just that for girls all over the world. If the Games inspire courage, wonder, inspiration, and the knowledge that girls can do anything they put their minds to, then the Games are a success. I, myself, am looking forward to watching Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh in Women’s Volleyball, as well as some swimming, gymnastics, and track. I also look forward to watching Usain Bolt run. I will be setting my DVR for these events so that I can enjoy what is left of this Portland summer and sun, and watch what I can when the sun goes down each day.

What are your favorite Olympic events?

Motherhood: Yes or No?

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I recently turned 34. My mom was 34 when she had me. I was the third child, so she had three children by the time she was the age I currently am. I do not have any kids, but I am exploring what it would be like to have kids. I always hear from others, that you never feel ready, and it is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you. A few individuals have said bluntly, do not have kids. I appreciate the honesty of both viewpoints.

There are days when I just cannot imagine being a mom. The hard days when I am not feeling well, or I am extremely grumpy, the days when I cannot even imagine getting up early, getting all that I need to get done, in addition to caring for a little one. Chris and I decided we would wait for five years after we were married to start having kids, and it has been nine years now. So we are a little behind schedule, and neither of us seem to be scrambling to get started. We like our life the way it is right now. We like to sleep in, and go out to breakfast each weekend. I like to have my “me” time. Call it selfish, but we decided early on that this was to be my selfish time. I spent much of my life taking care of someone in my family, and I needed a break. My biggest concern with not starting now (or soon) is that it might become harder and harder to have kids the older I get.

On the other side, I love babies, and little ones. I can be completely in go, go, go mode and get down on the floor and play with a little one and forget all that was going on and everything I had to do. Hand me a baby and it will be hard for me to give it back. Their smiles, drool, funny expressions, their smell (well the good, fresh ones). I love the hugs, or the “I love you Aunt Tami”, the laughter, and just how easy it is to play with little ones. I love watching little ones learn, explore, and create their own worlds. They are just so precious.

Gosh, this is getting personal, but it is what is on my mind. If I wait, will I regret it?