books

The grace that grounded me.

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At work last week, a few of us were discussing books, and I mentioned that at this moment my favorite book of 2014 is: “Mile Markers” by Kristin Armstrong. A colleague said oh, yes that is Lance Armstrong’s ex-wife. Of course I thought, duh. How did I not put two and two together? You would think her few mentions of her husband, Lance, in Mile Markers and her mention of Austin would have clued me in, but I was so enamored with her book that the connection never crossed my mind. By the end of our conversation one of my colleagues offered to bring in her copy of another Kristin Armstrong book: “Work in Progress: An Unfinished Woman’s Guide to Grace.”

Two nights ago I decided to crack it open, after some much-needed inspiration, and holy shit was I blown away. This is the first paragraph of the Introduction:

“You may have met, or know, a woman like this: She brightens a room, can literally alter the energy before she opens her mouth. Her presence alone is uplifting, her warmth is genuine radiance, and her eye contact feels like a gift. Her compassion and confidence are unshakable. She knows herself well enough to be able to get to know you. She has not pretense about herself, has no need to hide because she lives in truth. She has no need to exalt or deprecate others or herself, and this allows others the freedom to be authentic in her company.

She is the kind of woman who makes you check your posture, inside and out. She makes you want to think before you speak, not because you feel judged or compelled to impress her, but simply because she makes you want to be better. Her integrity draws others into the light. Her laughter is contagious. Her hugs feel so good you wonder how you can get another one without appearing needy. When she is happy, you want to celebrate with her. When she is struggling, you want to stand by her side. Come to think of it, anything with her would be fine.

Who is this woman? To me, she is a woman of grace.” page 1-2

Wow. If I could ever live up to that. I read that, and immediately had a woman in mind. Someone in my life that has always been an inspiration to me. While we have not been in touch as often these past few years, she has always been a role model to me. I can remember one time in college when I was struggling particularly with feeling like an orphan (my dad was around but not really existent in my life, my mom had passed on 5 years before). I remember I had hung out with her and her family (husband and precious little baby girl), and as I left she put her hand under my chin and looked into my eyes and said: “We love you.” Then she looked at me more intensely and said it again. I froze, and then started to cry. It was just what I needed to hear, but so hard to accept. She made me want to be better. She brightened the room, was so authentic and real, and exuded confidence, radiance, and her eye contact brought me to tears (in such a good way). She was the grace that grounded me.

I miss her.

Got nerve?

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Recently I finished reading the book: “Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave” by Patty Chang Anker. It was a good book and reminder of how little we take risks, and how often we stay trapped by our fears. It made me think about what I am holding inside that I need to let go, release, and no longer have as part of my life.

The author talks about her fears, as basic as riding a bike, to swimming in the ocean, and going surfing. Whatever the fear might be, Anker tries to look fear in the face and bravely take a stand. She does it for herself, she does it for others, and she does it so that she can raise her kids without inheriting her fears. Seems simple right? Yes and no. I love this idea she shared:

“Inhale what you need, exhale what you don’t. I teach my yoga students all the time. The lesson is both literal and figurative. We take in life-giving air and let go of toxic waste every moment we’re alive. I’m finally applying this in daily decisions, keeping what nourishes and releasing the rest. Taking responsibility for what I can. Surrendering the things I can’t. Living with palms open.” Page 51

Letting go of toxic moments can change our life. I love the thought to keep what nourishes and release the rest. If we have the courage to take a stand and say what is on our mind, we can keep ourselves intact. It is not easy, but it is imperative to ensure that we keep the integrity of who we are each and every day. I am in, are you?

#gotnerve?

Favorite things of summer…

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Last week it rained like cats and dogs here in Portland. It poured and poured. I guess it means summer is almost over, and yet it went by so fast. I am a bit bummed out about this news. I loved all the time that we worked on our home, being outside, having meetings outside while basking in the sun. Some of my favorite parts of summer: flip flops, dresses, skirts, freckles, iced coffee, sunshine, fresh fruit, veggies, and flowers, farmers markets, the list goes on. Starbucks is already offering my favorite fall/winter drink: a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Yum. So does that mean it is officially fall?

As I look back, nostalgic about summer, it made me remember my local library’s Summer Reading Club. This was back in the day when there was a card in the back of the book that sat in the sleeve, and they would stamp the date of when you would need to return the book. There was a long wall that they set up. It was set up in increments to space out the different numbers of books read over the summer. I loved proudly posting the number of books I had read during each library visit of the summer. If I remember correctly there were mini prizes the higher you got up the wall.

Even though I will miss my dresses and flip flops, there have been a few days of cooler weather when I have pulled out the jeans and long sleeved shirts, and it has been quite nice. Since I live in Portland, I will of course miss the sunny skies, abundant farmers markets, and eventually I will have to put my flip flops away.

What are your favorite things of summer? What will you miss most?

Why worry?

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I recently finished a novel that was a bit odd. I am not sure I can even try to explain the storyline, but it was different enough that it kept my interest. The book was titled: “The Family Needed” by Steven Amsterdam. One of the quotes that resonated with me (even if it was just for the story of a novel) was:

“All I mean is there is no profit in worrying. By the time you get where you’re going, the story will have changed anyway.”

What a great quote for everyday life, and so true. By the time we agonize over what we are worrying about the moment, hour, day has already changed. The story has changed. Why not just focus on the good that is happening right now, and stop worrying about the future? I am one that easily can worry. Will we be safe? Will we have enough money to cover that unexpected expense? What will they think? How will they treat me? Will I be prepared?

There are so many ways we can worry about the future. Whether about a sibling, our job, a child, friend, or parent, there is so much to worry about each and every day. What if your focus and thought was different? What if…you remembered that you had no control over the future, you only have control over right now. You could choose to enjoy the present moment, hour, day. You could choose to have that hard conversation with your friend, or decide to not let their life decisions bother you.

What story will you change, and what story will you let go of today?

Were you raised on fairy tales?

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I recently wrote about whether you should tell you kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I wonder though about fairy tales. Are they different?

I do not remember my parents pushing fairy tales on me, but, I do remember reading my share of them. Did I believe them? I do not remember. I had an imagination as a kid, but I am not sure it was specifically from fairy tales, mostly I think my imagination because of the volume of books I read. I grew up without a television, so my life was interesting through what and where I explored outside, the individuals (they were characters!) I met on my paper route, and what I read in books. Sure I watched television and movies, but only at friend’s houses or when I stayed with my grandma.

The books that I read led me to write. I made up stories all the time. Whether they were good or not is another thing. I still have all of them, but have not snuggled on the couch with warm tea and pulled them out to go over what my little self wrote about. I am sure I will be amused. I can remember one was a mystery and had a detective, and another about a girl president. Who knows where I got those ideas. I am sure many of the books I read as a kid kindled that fire that made me want to write.

Which is why I liked this informative blog post about how great leaders are birthed from fairy tales. This post shares how exposure to fairy tales, means you just might be imaginative, have critical thinking skills, and are creative. It also shares the words of Albert Einstein:

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

I love it. For those of you that are parents out there, bring out the fairy tales. Allow your kids to ask questions, dream, and wonder about what is possible. You never know what Hansel and Gretel might mean for your adventurous son, and Cinderella for your beautiful daughter. I think fairy tales start conversations about what is true, what could be, and what should be. I never had those conversations with my parents, but hey maybe you will.