Daily Om

Being Open

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I am as transparent as they come. I have mentioned before that a colleague calls me “TMI” instead of Tami. Well jokingly at least. If you know me you know that I have few filters and I have no problem telling you what is on my mind. It might mean I offend folks at times, but honestly at least you know where you stand with me. Right? Part of being transparent means you have to be open. The funny thing is that is not always the easiest thing for me.

Why? I am a planner. I like to think things through, have backup plans, and ensure that I will be prepared for whatever might occur. My childhood of disconnected utilities, no food on the table, and no money in the bank probably made me overzealous about ensuring that I would never have to worry about the lack of electricity, food on the table, and to make sure my family never lacked the basic necessities. Those moments were integral to my development and extremely poignant as to who and how I am today.

So when I found this Daily Om: “Softening and Expanding” it resonated with me. I think often about being open and how Chris and I talk about it extensively, but that does not make it easy to do in our day-to-day life. Whether you believe in God, a higher power, or the universe, I do believe that there is something at play in our daily life that directs our thoughts. Being open allows us to let go of what we really want, and gives us the space to ask, “How can I best bless? What do I need to do today to be present and listen for which conversations to take part in, and when should I speak up?” I truly believe there is something (whatever you may call it) guiding us for what we need to know. Here is the excerpt I wanted to share from the Daily Om:

“In order to get what we want in life, we have to be willing to receive it when it appears, and in order to do that we have to be open. Often we go through life with defenses we developed early on in order to protect ourselves. These defenses act as barriers, walls we needed at one time to feel safe, but that now serve to shut out desired influences, like intimacy or love. So an essential part of being receptive to what we want is to soften these barriers enough to let those things in when they show up.”

How do you react or allow yourself to be open? Are you receptive to the voices that tell us not to react, not to respond, or to jump for joy at an opportunity?

Sweeping

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Growing up in the Midwest, we called the thing you use to clean your rugs a sweeper. Yes regardless of whether you were cleaning a hardwood floor or a rug or carpet we would say: are you going to sweep? Now I say the collective “we” but I really mean my family growing up. Jump forward to my life with Chris and I would ask if he was going to “sweep” and he would just chuckle and ask what I meant. To him sweeping was when you were going to use a broom and truly “sweep.” Using a vacuum on carpet was “vacuuming.” I think I am 75% converted, but I still have slips where I ask if he is going to “sweep the rug.” Any other Midwesterners out there that said the same thing, or is this just something that was strange about my family?

In any case, this idea of sweeping was one I came across recently, and it made me ponder the idea of “sweeping.” The idea of sweeping and clearing away the gunk for new energy, is a welcome concept for me. One I had not thought about much before reading this Daily Om, titled: “Releasing and Welcoming.” This line particularly inspired me:

“Sweeping each morning prepares the ground for the new day at the same time as it deepens our awareness of the importance of letting go of the past to welcome the present.”

While I do not sweep each morning I am a clean freak, and this idea can translate to many other cleansing rituals I do around the house. For example, if I am inspired to be creative, I first want to clean and clear the gunk, extra stuff, and organize my life first. Once I have done so, I find that my creative time whether in front of the easel, or with pen and paper is that much richer. I have unearthed and removed the dirty thoughts, frustrations, and extra junk in order to find the space to welcome new creative ideas.

I do just the same thing at work. At times I might feel stuck about an idea or a new project. My teammates might find me start to clean my desk area, or the larger team space. I begin to organize. Sometimes I hear the mutter of: “here she goes again.” Often in the act of cleaning and organizing, I find the answer I needed for that project, and I go back and dig into it with gusto. It is amazing what a “vacuum” or “broom” can do to sweep away the crap. Yes, the 25% of me that still says “sweep the rug” will always be. You can take the girl out of Indiana, but you cannot take Indiana out of the girl.

Happy Sweeping…

Lean towards the positive

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We all have had rotten days, that we thought would never get better, but sometimes we have to look at what we can learn in those moments, and on those days. We can look at those around us, our peers, friends, and family and sometimes we see folks who look like they have it all. We covet what they have, we want their life, we think they have it easier and that their life will make us happier. Yet, is that really true?

Recently I was catching up on my Daily Om newsletters and found this one “Making Life Yours” where this quote stood out to me:

“The individuals who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, love, success, and prosperity. Such people have, however, been blessed with the ability to take the circumstances they’ve been handed and make them into something great.”

After having lost both of my parents, I have had others ask me: “What a great loss. How do you get by?” There are definitely days when I struggle, usually when there is a big life moment, a birthday or a holiday, but mostly I have figured out how to move on, to continue to grow, learn, and be me. I have heard others that have lost folks in their life say “It is what they would have wanted, for me to move on.” While I cannot tell you if that is true, I can tell you that living my life to the fullest is the only way I know to cope, to take my circumstances and try to make it as great as can be.

I have had a full, roller coaster week. There have been ebbs of goodness, and moments of frustration. At the end of it all, I can honestly say how grateful I am for all the good I have in my life. I may work hard, I may want more sleep and time to myself, but I love the moments where I can connect with others, learn more about how they live and love, an in turn learn about myself. We each can do more, love more, and connect more. If we attempt to lean toward the positive, we are one step closer to bringing our circumstances from good to great to amazing.

Bring it on.

Learning To Say NO

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I took a break for the Fourth of July. Slept in, sat out in the wonderfully warm sun (finally), went for a run and chilled with my hubby. Sorry folks, no fireworks shows for me. Just needed a nice quiet day yesterday. So now to the gist of my blog, saying: “NO.”

Are you good at saying “NO” when you need to? I am not. I grew up as a pleaser, and am trying to unlearn these behaviors. I think I now know why I am such a pleaser.

When I was 10 or so, my mom was sick. Life at home was not so fun. My parents fought a lot, eventually ending in my dad leaving, they separated and later divorced. I think I felt there was enough going on at home, that if I caused problems or was dramatic, that I would only make an already crazy and intense environment even worse. So I just tried to be good all the time, and I turned into a pleaser. For the most part I was the good daughter and granddaughter. That trickled into school, eventually to high school, college, and then the business world.

While I believe I found my voice in college, I still find it hard to say “No.” Maybe it is because I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, maybe it is because I try to do everything, and maybe it is because I do not want others to think I am not capable. Whatever the given reason, it is time for me to learn to say “No” without hesitation.

This Daily Om from last week inspired me to think about saying “No.” As mentioned in the article, we often have abilities that have been underused. My “No” mechanism has been underused. I need to say “No” to set better boundaries for myself and not feel guilty about it!

How did you learn to say “No?” Is it easy for you?

Are You A Sponge?

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Are you a sponge? Do you feed off of the energy of those around you? I love this Daily Om from a few weeks ago called: “Centered and Safe.” It resonates with me because I find that when I am not balanced or listening to my inner voice, I can easily become a sponge to other’s moods, complaints, or joy. The good part is when I am a sponge for joy. The not fun part is when it is the opposite. You know when you are grumpy and someone else’s happiness kicks your mood’s butt? Those are the good perks of being a sponge. What is bad is when you can be in a great place, and someone’s poopy attitude sways you to become grumpy and frustrated.

I have worked hard over the past few months to be clear on when my moods are affected by those I am surrounded by on a daily basis. Do I feel frazzled and stressed out because those around me do? Can I leave the mood of others behind by finding the good in a bad or not fun situation? Another way to think about it is what the Daily Om calls being sensitive. I think “being sensitive” gets a bad rap. Many times the word “sensitive” has a negative connotation of being weak or easily influenced. I do not think of the word sensitive in that way. Dictionary.com lists “sensitive” as:

sen·si·tive [sen-si-tiv] adjective

1. endowed with sensation;  having perception through the senses.
2. readily or excessively affected by external agencies or influences.
3. having acute mental or emotional sensibility; aware of and responsive to the feelings of others.
4. easily pained, annoyed, etc.
5. pertaining to or connected with the senses  or sensation.

#3 is what resonates with me. So, the better balanced an individual is with their own selves, the easier it is to accommodate their own sensitive nature. In a good way. So if you are a sponge, you have a choice of how much of another’s moods you let into your experience. Are you aware of what you are absorbing?

You might also find Tuesday’s Daily Om resonates with you. It is called: “Let it Roll Off Our Back.” It is a good reminder to let things go and not get too caught up in someone else’s negative energy.

I am going to be on watch for when I need to squeeze out the junk from my sponge and when I need to keep absorbing the good!