Does instant information mean too much access?

Last week Siouxsioux shared a comment on my recent blog: Photo Cops Suck:

“I agree — a “real” traffic cop stop is more humane and allows for exceptions. However, your wake-up call ties in with what I’m feeling in this spy-info-obsessed environment. We like 24-hour automated tellers, expect instant assistance from Google and appreciate GPS-assistance complete with photos of where we’re going or where we’ve been … but no one likes being spied upon. If we keep willingly giving away info and expecting instant, automated assistance, at what point does it lead to too much outside control … with no turning back?”

Siouxsioux’s comment really made me think of how often I am impatient and frustrated when the gadgets in my life are not moving as fast as my brain might be working. It reminds me of Louis CK on Conan O’Brien a few years ago. The part relating to our world of automation starts around 2:45 in the video clip. Another great section is at 3:25 regarding our impatience with the Internet not working while flying on an airplane. He later says how a plane flight now consists of, “you watch a movie, take a dump, and you are home.”

There is a balance of instant access to information on our iPhones, iPads, and laptops, and what security and privacy we may not even know we are forfeiting while searching and utilizing that information. As Siouxsioux mentioned, I wonder at what cost. I know I am slightly addicted to the Internet. Well, more that slightly addicted to instant information at my fingertips. I am assuming that Words with Friends knows how often we play, or how addicted we are, Facebook can tell almost anything about our lives, our local library knows what we read, the grocery store you frequent knows what you eat and buy, and Amazon can tell a lot about your spending habits. If someone put that all together, I am sure there would be plenty of information for your shrink.

So where is the line, and have we already crossed it?

What does your internal mirror say?

Posted by random olio

Tears in my eyes. This video has been going around Facebook. It is the Dove Campaign: “Real Beauty Sketches.” At first I hesitated to watch it because I have seen so many Dove commercials about women and beauty, but then I could not resist. Everyone (men and women) should watch this video. A sketch artist listens to a woman, and then draws how he hears her explain her face. The woman leaves the room and meets with another woman. The second woman comes into the room and describes the first woman to the sketch artist and he draws what she tells him. Later the first woman looks at both drawing renditions of her. There is a stark contrast. The one that she describes is usually not as attractive or thin as how the second woman described her. Interesting right?

We need to have more confidence in ourselves. We are beautiful. We are unique. We matter. At times I think that women were not trained or raised to brag about ourselves, we only learned to cut ourselves down. There were many years in my life that I was just that way. Later, when I found my voice in college, and I started to talk out loud and speak up, my confidence in who I am grew. I stopped caring what other individuals thought of me and my body. Remember we are each badass and beautiful women. Start telling the story of your gorgeous smile, laugh lines, bright eyes, and clear skin. You are perfect just the way you are right now. Bring that self in all you do.

“You are more beautiful than you think.”

Letter to Sheryl Sandberg

Posted by random olio

I have not really followed Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO) or her new book that was just released. Last week on Facebook I saw this quote and had to share it. Maybe I like it because I was a bossy little girl. Go Sheryl.

Then I found this letter to Sheryl Sandberg from Daily Worth founder, Amanda Steinberg, and I had to share as I agree with the letter. In it, she mentions a TIME magazine cover story, where Sandberg says of her husband: “He manages our money,” she says. “I have essentially no interest.” (page 5 of the TIME article). This comment is what Steinberg is reacting to in her letter.

Each and every woman should have a stake in and understanding of their personal finances. It does not mean that we always understand everything 100%, but we should try. I know too many women, that make a good living and would willingly turn over their hard-earned income to the man in their life, because they do not understand how to manage their finances. Please stop.

I know that it might be the easy way out, but you are not doing yourself any service by giving your money over to the man in your life. You are giving away your power. I would be the first to say that I do not always understand each and every part of our finances or retirement accounts. There are often little details that confuse the crap out of me, but the key is that I try to make sense of it. I want to know. I do not give up my power to my husband. We share the responsibility of our finances and make each and every decision together.

So in light of Sheryl Sandberg, and her great success as a woman, I encourage all women out there regardless of income level to care about their finances. It does not mean that you have to manage your finances day-to-day, just care about understanding them. You might pay someone to manage your finances, your husband might handle them, but set up a time each week or month to review your finances with whoever is handling them. Make a point to understand how much you are spending, and how you are saving. If you do not, to me it is like having someone take care of your children, yet you do not know their style. Which means you do not really know what is happening, right? I agree with Steinberg, all women should feel confident managing their money so that they are able to live life on their own terms.

What do you think?

Want to Read: “Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now”

Posted by random olio

Usually I write about books I have read, but today I want to share about a book I want to read. I just read this NPR book review for: “Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now” by Douglas Rushkoff. His book is about how we are slaves to technology, i.e. slaves to our computers, phones, text messages, etc. I was intrigued by this quote in the book review:

“In my life, it’s sort of the experience of being on Facebook and seeing everyone from my past suddenly back in my present. And the inability to distinguish between who may have been friends of mine in second grade, and people who I’ve met just yesterday, and people who are actually significant relationships. That collapse of my whole life into one moment, where every ping, every vibration of my phone might just pull me out of whatever it is I’m doing, into something else that seems somehow more pressing on the moment.”

How true that is. Our online life tends to instantly suck us into this vortex of what others are doing. Are they successful? More than we are? Less? Are they happy? The constant interest and care of our “friends” status updates has made us a distracted and less focused society. It also seems to be that every email, text, voicemail, Facebook, and Tweet we receive, we are very quick to check and respond to in case we might miss out on something. Do we usually really need to react and respond so quickly? Not usually.

Later in the article Rushkoff says:

“But I think what happens is as we get more and more obsessed with those pings, we lose touch with sort of the continuity of life. We forget what it means to really just be there, looking in someone else’s eyes rather than down at our phone while we’re at a meal. And I guess a lot of what I’m trying to do with this book is to give people permission to take back their time.”

Chris and I usually (depending on what might be happening in life or work), remind each other to put our phones away when we go out to dinner. We are paying to have a meal out, so we should be sure to give each other our full attention. Do we do that at home? Sometimes. I never thought of it in the words: “Take back their time.” It makes me ponder in my thought other times during the day. Do you look at your phone when you are in a meeting? When you are talking with someone one-on-one? While walking to a meeting in a different building? Do you look at your phone when you are bored? Waiting in your car at an intersection? What if we were to take those moments to be quiet? To listen, or to meditate? Would we be happier? Or does checking our phone each time we hear it ding, whistle, or beep make us feel at peace?

Be sure to read the above article to learn more about what Rushkoff calls: digiphrenia

Do you want to feel truly connected with others?

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have a conversation with someone only to realize they are in another world? Their mind is thinking about Facebook, the text they just received, the email they need to respond to? We are now such a highly connected society that we often do not go more than an hour without having connected with someone that is miles away from us, yet we struggle to sometimes connect with the person that is sitting right in front of us.

A few months ago I finished reading the book: “Program or be Programmed” by Douglas Rushkoff. A few days ago, I was reminded of Rushkoff’s book, after an interaction that just felt too on the surface to me. We have become a society that just takes from the top layer. We are getting farther and farther away from going deep. Our world revolves around the moment by moment distractions of our phones, tablets, and what is happening on the Internet. Rushkoff says:

“A society that looked at the Internet as a path toward highly articulated connections and new methods of creating meaning is instead finding itself disconnected, denied deep thinking, and drained of enduring values.”

My question is what can we do to get back to deeper values, connected conversations, and quality interactions? I also like what he says here:

“Faced with a networked future that seems to favor the distracted over the focused, the automatic over the considered, and the contrary over the compassionate, it’s time to press the pause button and ask what all this means to the future of our work, our lives, and even our species.”

I want to take another look at my moments and interactions and see how I act. I already know that I am a multi-tasker. I at times applaud myself for all that I can do at once. But, am I doing things better? Am I really focused on all that is happening around me? Could I provide more quality to whatever activity that I am doing by being completely 100% connected and aware?

What do you think?