Adventurous, resilient, and one year older…

Posted by random olio

It is my sister’s birthday. I do not write about her that often. More because I feel that other than those that have passed on, and then of course Chris, that I do not talk about or expose too much about those in my life that are close to me (friends or family). I want to respect their privacy.

yes…she let me join her and blow out “HER” candles…

I have lost most of my immediate family, except for my brother and sister. My sister and I have had our ups and downs in life. Times when she kept the family together and other times when I felt I kept us together. We have had our fights and struggles. My not so nice lash outs (I used to be a biter). Okay, and a clawer, and am still a bit of a yeller. My sister has taken it all in stride.

At different times she has been a mother to me, and a sister, and a best friend. We have not always seen eye-to-eye. We have not always been happy with each other. In the end though we have always been there for each other. Countless experiences in hospitals while nursing my mom, and then my grandma. Many moves and purging of my family belongings. Extremely boring and depressing holidays with no real family. Yet, we got through it — together. Our lives are better now then we probably could have imagined.

Sista. You are a strong woman who is not afraid to take risks. Loves fiercely. Likes adventure. Respects those that respect you. In the above picture, you’ll see that even on her birthday she shared with me.

Have a wonderfully, sunny, pampered day. I love you.

“Does your face light up?”

Posted by random olio

I recently read a book called: “You Can Be Right [or You Can Be Married]” by Dana Adam Shapiro. While the book has more to do with marriage (which I might tell you about in a future post), the following quote is what inspired me today as I think about all the precious little munchkins that came by my house in their costumes last night. It makes me think about all the times my parent’s face did or did not light up when I came into a room.

“Ms. Morrison explained that it’s interesting to watch what happens when a child walks into a room. She asked, “Does your face light up?” She explained, “When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up…You think your affections and your deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face. What’s wrong now? Her advice was simple, but paradigm-shifting for me. She said, “Let your face speak what’s in your heart. When they walk in the room my face says I’m glad to see them. It’s just as small as that, you see?” page 223

Aww…this almost brings tears to my eyes. I can feel the tears there, just waiting. This is such a great reminder of how we need to be present and aware of how we come across to little bambinos. Having said all that, I think this still applies to adults too. What if our face lit up when we saw our spouses, family, and co-workers walk into a room. How would it feel if others reacted in that way towards us? Would we feel more loved and connected to others if we saw them light up when we arrived?

I thought about this yesterday when I answered the doorbell for those costumed munchkins. I knelt down with my bowl of candy and talked to them at their level. I looked at them face-to-face. I saw their excitement and energy for Halloween. I was inspired by their exuberance. That is my challenge to myself, to approach the munchkins and bambinos I encounter with the light in my eyes, and my heart on my face. I will let that all speak for itself.

Are you with me!?

Sometimes it is better from the can…

Posted by random olio

Fall is here. It is raining like we just set foot on Noah’s ark. Not sure when it will stop. So far it has not bothered me too much, as there is so much going on in my life right now, that I do not have time to think about the rain! What the rain has brought though is the leaves changing color and they are beginning to fall to the ground. That also means pumpkin time. I absolutely love the fall, mostly for the colors outside, the crisp air, and the food. Pumpkin bread, pumpkin spice lattes, squash soups, yum, yum, and YUM! I made some pumpkin bread over the weekend and it make me think about food I only have once a year.

Sometimes when we start doing things a certain way, that it becomes a habit. It is ours, and even as much as others try to get us to do things differently, we stick to our ways. What I am speaking of is: CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE.

I am strange. I like canned cranberries at Thanksgiving. I know, I know, it is weird. It means there is an imprint of a can on the jellied gross looking cranberries. But see, some things just make you feel nostalgic. When I was young I had issues with textures. Yes, for those of you who know me now, you know that I still do. But, I have grown up a bit. I have a much wider range of food interests and I am much more open-minded than I ever have been before. Yet. Yes, there is a yet. I still like canned cranberries. While it is a bit gross, the taste is what I like best. It has a smooth texture, without all these chunky cranberries. Do not get me started on whether it is good for you or not. I could not care less. I just look forward to Thanksgiving that is a month away, so I can have cold canned cranberries, with warm, buttery mashed potatoes, and the rest of that yummy Thanksgiving dinner goodness.

ah yes, canned cranberries…

What random food do you enjoy that might look kind of gross?

A Letter from Mother to Daughter

Posted by random olio

I found this on someone’s Pinterest page and it brought tears to my eyes. I am not sure if it was the photo or the letter itself:

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: “My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep…..

It made me think of my mom and my grandma. It made me think of all the times I was not patient with them. The times a few years ago when my grandma would call me at 4 a.m. confused and ask why I had not come over yet. Even though I was on the West Coast and she lived in the Midwest. I would talk to her and get her calmed down and she would call me back an hour later confused again.

I am sharing it with you today, in hopes that you will be patient with your mom or dad, grandma or grandpa. That you will listen and understand when they repeat themselves. That you will love them anyway. And, for those of you with little ones, that you will read the story again, and again, and again.

Who Taught You About Respect?

Posted by random olio

We each had someone in our life that very clearly taught us things that we will always remember. My father taught me about respect. It was important to him. Although he sometimes had a funny way of showing his respect to others, (he was not always respectful) we were taught how to respect him. I guess you could say that he taught me what to do and what not to do by his actions.

My father showed us to respect our elders, the things in our home, or the things that we owned and how we should take care of them. In his own way, he maybe made me into a bit of a perfectionist. Since I grew up poor, I did not have many things that many others had. The things I did have I cherished, and took excellent care of them. That has carried through my life to my home, and those comfort items I own today. I think there were multiple people in my life that taught me about having respect for myself. You can tell this by how you react to the way others treat you.

Sometimes I think when another individual is not respectful, it actually starts with them not respecting themselves. Each encounter we have with someone else is a learning experience, and teaches us how we can be better individuals, and how we can treat others better. Whether it is a work situation, or something with a family or friend. Each time you are direct, clear, and say what you need to, it helps for that next time when you might need to speak up and stand up for yourself or another person.

Due to the fact that respect was ingrained into my thinking at a young age, this initiative by “Futures without Violence” resonated with me. It is called: “The Respect Challenge” and asks for individuals to contribute to the question: Who taught you Respect? You will want to check out this video, and I encourage you to submit your answer to their question.