Family

Hallelujah

Posted by

1

December has gone fast this year. It baffles me that Christmas is tomorrow. I have done everything I can to not step foot in any store, and do whatever shopping I can online this year. Is it sad that Christmas has in some ways made me want to stay away from people? That this holiday now makes me cringe? Our credit cards have made us greedy, stressed out, and potentially the true meaning of Christmas is lost in bags, receipts, and frustrated shoppers.

Somehow during the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it is music that makes me grounded. I am usually one to quickly run out of the store, or change the radio station when a Christmas song is played before Thanksgiving. Yet, it is Christmas music that takes the Scrooge out of me. It is one of the few things that gives me a nostalgic feeling about Christmas, and reminds me of my father and his avid love for Christmas. I wish I knew what made him enjoy it so much. He loved decorating the house for Christmas, with lights, wreaths, our tree, and other Santa figurines around the house. Was he trying to compensate for Christmas’ he might not have enjoyed as a child? Or was he recreating his own memories?

Chris and I have leaned towards Christmas being a quiet day together, and potentially further towards “just another day in our life.” We lean towards a simpler life. Why has it come to that for us? We usually do not trade gifts, and this year we never got around to putting up the Christmas tree. Sometimes we decide to find a gift together for our home that we can share with each other. We always lean towards doing nothing rather than doing something just to fill a need to give a gift.

So what makes me nostalgic again this year for Christmas past? Music. I have always loved the Leonard Cohen song: Hallelujah, and my favorite is the Jeff Buckley version. Over the weekend, I came across this “Cloverton” version of “A Hallelujah Christmas.” I especially love the beginning with just the piano and vocals. For some reason I feel it in my bones. It makes me think about past Christmas’ with my parents. I wanted to share and, if you celebrate, wish you a wonderful Christmas. Cherish this special time with your family and friends.

Staying True to Yourself

Posted by

2

Fitting in or not. It is a fact of life. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t. What matters most is what we do when that happens. Do we try to change ourselves to fit in, or do we stay true to ourselves and not let who we are go even if it means not fitting in?

You would think that it only happens in school. Right? No, it is part of the world we live in, whether we are in school, at work, with friends, and sometimes even in our families. I definitely struggled at different points in school with fitting in. First, there is the question, do I even like the “cool” kids? Do I want to hang out with them, or are they annoying, mean, you fill in the blank. If there is a desire to hang with those so-called unattainable kids, then maybe you want to solve the magic 8 ball to find out how you can hang with them. You might find though that it is not always what it is cracked up to be.

It happens from toddlers to an old folks home, fitting in is just a fact of life. We all create tribes and cliques. We all have preferences and choices of who joins us. Yet, through it all, the most genuine way to fit in is to be yourself. I can remember countless times in my life when I never really felt I fit in. When I was younger and my mom was sick, my life was different, and it made it hard to relate to my peers. In high school when my mom died, I was back at boarding school within a week, and it made it hard to process and who I wanted in my life at that time.

Eventually something happens in your life and you learn that you just have to stick to who you are, regardless of whether others do not like you for who that is. It was in college when I finally said: “I don’t give a shit what others think. I am going to be me, and if others like that person, great, and if they don’t that is fine too.” We just have to stay true to ourselves, and let the rest happen. Otherwise if we divert from ourselves, it will take us that much longer to find our way home.

Start young: play money, toy cash register

Posted by

2

As more and more people around me have babies it makes me think about kids more and more. There are so many things to think about: car seats, cribs, bassinets, strollers, names, kinds of diapers, bottles, the list goes on. As they get a bit older the list shifts a bit to other very important ideals that a couple should, for the most part, agree upon in how they want to raise their kids.

When I recently came across this article on how to teach your kids about money it made me think, wow everyone should be starting very early in how they want to approach money with their kids. I was talking to a colleague just the other day. Yes, I can tell you this now, and it is possible that I have no idea what I am talking about! We were discussing how expensive it is to raise a kid these days, let alone thinking about paying for them to go to college. I paid my own way through college. I was in a work/study program, and I worked outside of that too. My parents could not afford to pay for college for any of their three kids. While it would have definitely been nice to have it paid for, it taught me a lot about money, about growing up, and about taking responsibility for my decisions. I probably would not have worked as hard to learn if I was not paying for it.

Now that does not mean that I will not help my future kid(s) out with college, but I want to do it in a way that helps them grow, learn, and understand what their decisions mean financially. Too often, I think parents write a check and walk away, and that does not help their kids learn about life. The above article starts with ages 2-5 on how you can use play money and play “store” together. Oh how I remember the plastic cash register I had when I was little. I loved watching the coins come down the side like it used to at the grocery store. Toy cash registers today I believe have scanners and credit card swipers. Oh well. Parents could still teach the value of money, and include a bit about how someone has to pay for what is put on that credit card.

Start young. Whenever we begin having kids I know I will start young too. I think conversations about wants, needs, and money help kids know and appreciate all that they have in the world. It does not have to be in a way of shame, but from a place of abundance and gratitude.

Seeing the good

Posted by

1

A good friend shared this blog from “Hands Free Mama” on Facebook and I had to share. While it is written through the eyes of a mom about her daughter, I think the ideas can apply to anyone. A boss and employee, a colleague, a friend.

Her report card says: “Distracted in large groups.” Yet her mother sees how she notices everything about the world around her. “That man is texting and driving.” “Grandpa is slower than the rest of us. We should wait.” The mother realizes how aware her daughter is, how perceptive and observant she is. Her daughter asks what is on her report card, and the mother is honest. The daughter says: “Oh, I do look around a lot.” And, rather than make her daughter feel bad for her this report card, she says: “Yes, you noticed Carter sitting off by himself with a skinned knee on the field trip, and you comforted him.” (and a few other things.)

Please read the rest of her blog post. You might have a pool of tears in your eyes, because this mom gave her daughter a gift. A gift of seeing her daughter clearly, and not just what was printed on paper. She helped her to see how aware she was about the world around her. And, you are in for a surprise at the end. The haircut comment was just over the top for me. It made me hope that my future son or daughter was just as perceptive, and aware. I loved this thought too:

“Oh dear God. Yes. Yes. We are all just waiting for someone to notice–notice our pain, notice our scars, notice our fear, notice our joy, notice our triumphs, notice our courage. And the one who notices is a rare and beautiful gift.”

Do you notice that about your friends, co-workers, family? Have you given them a gift to notice what they are hiding, and what they are hoping you will find out about them? At the end of each day, all we ever want is to be loved. Can you take a step away from being cool, from being seen to seeing others, to making others feel cool, needed, wanted, and loved?

Try it.

 

Toys, Sesame Street, and Missing Match-Ups

Posted by

2

I cannot remember having a favorite toy growing up. I do remember being addicted to board games. I loved the challenge, I loved the strategy, and I loved the competition. Recently my sister reminded me of one of my favorite and probably earliest games. It was a Sesame Street game called: Missing Match-Ups. The best way to sum it up was that it was the Sesame Street version of memory.

I loved it. I imagine I begged my entire family to play with me. They probably did just so I would stop asking. I remember being very good, and I have a hunch they were not letting me win. I never wanted that, I always wanted to win on my own merit.

I do not know if my love of games grew out of my childhood. What I remember most was that it was a time my family was together. Often my mom did not join us, but I definitely remember the many times that she did. I wonder today how often families turn off the television, their phones, and iPads and sit around a table with food and games and connect with each other (whether your family is young or old). It was a time I always cherished as it seemed that we each gave each other the presence of now.

Do you have a favorite childhood game?