intersection

On Sunday while walking in downtown Portland, I heard the theme song for the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard. As I looked down the cross street at the intersection I was in, I see the actual General Lee (or a replica) driving fast down the street, blaring the horn. It brought back memories from my childhood. See, some might say I was a deprived child, and some might say it was a blessing in disguise. I grew up without a functioning television set in our house.

What did that mean for me? I absorbed television at friend’s houses and when I spent time with my grandma. Those were the days of Nick at Nite, and the constant circulation of reruns. One of my favorite shows with the Dukes of Hazzard. Of course I watched plenty of Love Boat, I Love Lucy, Three’s Company, and more current versions of my childhood Full House, Perfect Strangers, and Family Matters. It was the 80’s.

With all the recent talk about the Confederate flag, I heard that the owners of the actual General Lee may paint over the Confederate flag. Why? I am not saying I support the Confederate flag or what it stands for, but the General Lee is a car with the flag from a television show from 1979-1985. It is a moment of time in the history of television. In any case, I digress. What I really wanted to talk about was Daisy Duke. I adored her. While she tended to be the only “known” woman on the show (none of the other women that were young had reoccurring roles), somehow I wanted to be Daisy. What little girl did not? Scary as it might be the “look” of Daisy Duke is not that much different from “models” today.

While I have nothing near the body of Daisy Duke, the one thing I loved about her — no one pushed her around. Sure, half the men were speechless in front of her, but those that could hold their own usually ended up with a kick in the ass by one of her heels. Maybe that is why I liked her so much. I can remember one year (I think I was in third grade), Daisy Duke was going to be at our mall and I got a photograph of her signed. I was so excited — I thought I had met my own version of Wonder Woman. I wonder whatever happened to that signed photo of Daisy Duke?

A few months ago, I finished reading the book: “The Longest Way Home” by Andrew McCarthy. For those of you that do not know who McCarthy is, he first became known as an actor in “St. Elmo’s Fire” and “Pretty in Pink.” I also recently remember watching him in “Lipstick Jungle” until it was cancelled. He is now a travel writer, and his book shares many travel experiences in addition to the lead up to his second marriage. He calls his new wife: “D.” The following quote resonated with me because it is often how I operate:

“D’s willingness to emotionally invest in others and make herself vulnerable allows her to inhabit her humanity to a degree that still baffles me. Why would anyone who is so strong-willed, so self-sufficient, want to make herself vulnerable to someone else? D would say that what is most important in life is family, connection, and community. Loving someone, she will say, is the only thing that matters and is worth the price of relinquishing control.” page 63

I agree. Almost. While I might make myself vulnerable in many situations, I have a hard time relinquishing control. Emotionally investing in others and being vulnerable is how I believe you get close to others. Often I think I open up about myself, however, only in the way of sharing experiences. What is harder for me is being vulnerable in a way where I actually ask for help. Rarely do I put myself out there in that way.

My vulnerability happens by sharing what I have learned, am learning, and how the road of life intersects with someone else’s experience. True connection I believe is found by intersections. Being transparent and open about your life and your beliefs can start the march towards intimacy. As long as the other individual is willing and open to be present with that emotional vulnerability. If they are not, it can be a waste of time. Or is it?

All of this comes to me after reading his book. Vulnerability allows us to intersect our humanity. I have a hunch that we all could tap into our vulnerability, slide off that iPhone, walk away from our computer, go down the hall and connect with someone new. What would that feel like? To try to be vulnerable and intersect the life of one person each day. Share from your life experience, be vulnerable, and intersect lives. All for the vein of love, humanity, and connection.

Are you with me?