postaday

Favorite things of summer…

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Last week it rained like cats and dogs here in Portland. It poured and poured. I guess it means summer is almost over, and yet it went by so fast. I am a bit bummed out about this news. I loved all the time that we worked on our home, being outside, having meetings outside while basking in the sun. Some of my favorite parts of summer: flip flops, dresses, skirts, freckles, iced coffee, sunshine, fresh fruit, veggies, and flowers, farmers markets, the list goes on. Starbucks is already offering my favorite fall/winter drink: a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Yum. So does that mean it is officially fall?

As I look back, nostalgic about summer, it made me remember my local library’s Summer Reading Club. This was back in the day when there was a card in the back of the book that sat in the sleeve, and they would stamp the date of when you would need to return the book. There was a long wall that they set up. It was set up in increments to space out the different numbers of books read over the summer. I loved proudly posting the number of books I had read during each library visit of the summer. If I remember correctly there were mini prizes the higher you got up the wall.

Even though I will miss my dresses and flip flops, there have been a few days of cooler weather when I have pulled out the jeans and long sleeved shirts, and it has been quite nice. Since I live in Portland, I will of course miss the sunny skies, abundant farmers markets, and eventually I will have to put my flip flops away.

What are your favorite things of summer? What will you miss most?

Tell someone you love them.

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Feeling vulnerable. Feeling safe. Which one drives the choices you make on a day-to-day basis? Over the past ten years I have gone from being guarded, closed, and keeping things inside, to being so transparent I probably make others wince. I have no filter, and say what is on my mind. Yet, I know there are people in my life that I do not tell enough how much they mean to me, and how much I love them.

I did not grow up in a lovey-dovey house. In his final few years my dad was a hugger, but it erked me. I could not remember him being like that when I was a kid, and he had so much anger and depression stored inside him I did not know if the hugs were genuine, or if it was his way to try to keep what was left of our family together. What is funny about growing up in an environment of non lovey-doviness, is that it is harder for me to be that way with family (of course with the exception of Chris and I imagine my future little ones). My future little one(s) most likely will get annoyed with my over the top, make sure they know I love them, gushy momness.

Yes, I am going to share another quote from “Bread & Wine” because it is just a great, wholesome book. Her thoughts on love and vulnerability made me think and ponder. It made me question why I sometimes hold my family a bit of a distance away, and why it is easier for me to bring friends, colleagues, and others to a closer distance. I am not going to tell you my findings, as I think they are still percolating within my thoughts, but wanted to share this quote in hopes that it might inspire you to think about those moments that happen where you can tell those close to you why you love them, and why they matter in your life.

“The heart of hospitality is creating space for these moments, protecting that fragile bubble of vulnerability and truth and love. It’s all too rare that we tell the people we love exactly why we love them—what they bring to our lives, why our lives are richer because they’re in it. We do it best, I think, with our nuclear family—most of us tell our children and spouses how much we love them easily and often.” Page 176

We do not solve our insecurities all at once in life, but I appreciate when the thoughts from an author or friend encourage us to look freshly at our life each day and find how we can do one little thing to pull apart the onion layers of our vulnerability, our fears, and our past issues, and look a little more closely at who we are and what scares us. Hopefully, it makes our life richer, more vibrant, lively, and connects us to what matters most.

#tellsomeoneyoulovethem

The path of least resistance?

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How often do you pursue an issue not because of the money you save, but because at the end of the day your decision to dig deeper has more to do with principle?

These past few weeks it seems there have been quite a few issues Chris and I have run into where we have to stay adamantly persistent to get to the bottom of an issue due to the principle behind the situation. We always ask ourselves, will fighting this potentially help someone else in the future? If we resolve this, could it mean that maybe what happened to us will not happen to someone else?

Often I think individuals just want to find the path of least resistance, yet that can be the easy way out. The harder, more involved, and sometimes frustrating path is to hold companies and individuals accountable for the mess they sometimes make. I will give you an example. Our company covers one preventative exam per year (per individual covered). It is free. This year Chris went to a different location for his check up. It was one of those quick places, that you just walk in. Quick and easy. Or so he thought.

After the specific provider forced him to pay his co-pay, he remembered that his preventative exam was free. Phone call after phone call to our insurance provider and the medical care provider to hopefully resolve the issue, what he found out was that while this medical provider was “in-network,” yet they were also listed as an “emergency care” provider. The contract between our insurance company and this medical care provider was that copays only apply for non emergency care providers, yet this is not disclosed to us. Based on that, and the contract they had with our company, we were required to pay the copay. Obviously a loophole.

After many hours and phone calls later it is finally resolved. We received a refund of our copay, after our company got involved with our complaint. While this was for a small amount of money, what if it was for $20,000? Does the amount really matter? Is it more about principle? $1 or $100, or $1,000? We should hold others accountable in hopes that we make life easier for individuals in the future.

What do you think?

Unapologetically herself.

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Ah, I found a quote that I love, love, love.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Thank you to catscaffeinecake for sharing this quote on your blog. It makes me smile, and it makes me relish being a woman, and having no qualms whatsoever for being myself. There was a time in my life when I was more introverted, occasionally quiet, and not so excited to talk about my life. Now I imagine Chris is often wondering when I am going to shut up. Although when I am quiet, I think it makes him squirm a bit. Why? Because he loves when I am unapologetically myself, loudness and all.

A colleague recently told me my nickname should be Tami without the “A”, so TMI (too much information). He is right. I probably do go overboard with sharing whatever is on my mind. I do not have a filter, and definitely know that there are some situations when I should keep my mouth shut. There are other situations when I feel so comfortable, that I do not censor myself and I am sure that those around me are sometimes shocked with what comes out of my mouth.

What if everyone was unapologetically themselves? Would we trust others more because we knew that they were being completely transparent with us? No games played, just each of us being true to ourselves and those around us. We would all be more comfortable with each other, not worried about our flaws or inadequacies, with little care to what others thought.

I think when others are unapologetically themselves it is attractive. What do you think?

Creative You.

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Do personality tests fascinate you? We all have a desire to understand ourselves better. It is an insatiable desire in some. I am an avid learner so of course when I came across “Creative You: Using Your Personality Type to Thrive” by David Goldstein and Otto Kroeger, I was intrigued. I cannot say I read it cover to cover, I did more of a “scan.” So it is not listed on my list of 2013 books. Nevertheless, I wanted to share this book with you. It talks mostly about how we are each creative in our own ways, while talking through the lens of Myers-Briggs.

If you have never taken a Myers-Briggs test you can do so here. I do not know if that site is the most accurate, but it is a start. Before taking it over the weekend, I had thought I was an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) from previous tests. Taking the test again confirmed that I am INFJ. “Creative You” looks at the different Myers-Briggs personality types and looks at them through the lens of creativity. It is a fascinating concept. For example, INFJ is listed as “The Inspirer.”

It takes you through different types of creativity (music, acting, cooking, painting, etc) and shows how different personality types might respond in different situations. It also discussed these same personality types at work. I had a few aha moments when comparing my creative type to Chris’. So often we think of ourselves as strong in some areas and weak in others, and yet what came to me as I compared us creatively is that he is more strongly creative in certain areas than I am and vice versa. So maybe I should be aware of my blind spots, and not try so hard to fix them. Focusing on the creative strengths might be the best bet.

I definitely recommend peeking at this book!