How My Government Helped Me

So I really dislike talking about politics. Not because I am not passionate about them, but more because I do not like alienating others through my beliefs. I prefer to discuss topics that can bring folks together, and I find that often with politics people have a very extreme opinion and are not always open to listening, hearing differing opinions, or even learning about a different viewpoint. So if I feel the conversation is negative, aggressive, and just not fun, I often make a choice to shut my mouth or walk away.

Last night, however, we were watching the Democratic National Convention. Bill Clinton somehow moved some emotions inside of me. I got teary at one moment and it made me go back to my childhood.

I grew up poor in the Midwest. My father was a contractor, and self-employed. My mother was a teacher (and had a master’s degree). From what I can remember my parents were Republicans. Most likely because of my father. He believed in as little government as possible. He almost was to the edge of conspiracy theory, and always felt someone was watching his every move. Back then when you paid for purchases with checks (when you actually had to have the money in the bank to pay for your purchases) the cashier would often ask for his social security number or driver’s license number. My dad would get aggressive and revolt telling the cashier those numbers were not their business. Sometimes walking out of the store without his purchase. I do not necessarily disagree with his logic. I am hardcore about the security of my personal information, have gone through identify theft (not an easy thing to fix), and am just overall very careful, as many are about their personal information. I am just not hardcore for the same reasons as my father.

I digress. I did not really want to talk about security or my father’s fear of big government. I really wanted to share my appreciation and nostalgia for what my country has done for me. Mind you I am not very old. My mother became ill and bedridden when I was 12. My parents were just divorced. My father was not paying for child support, and due to my mom’s condition we would have not survived without the support of government social service programs. My mom was not what many think of someone on government support. She was not a drug addict, or uneducated. She was not in any way trying to live off the system. She had one child that had turned 18 and left for college, one that was 12, and another that was 16. She had no income, and health care costs that continued to increase as her condition worsened.

You might ask: “Why are you grateful for all that depressing stuff, Tami?” I am not grateful to have been in that situation. What brings tears to my eyes is that we were given aid. We were given a specific dollar amount of food stamps each month. Our house had been foreclosed on, and we were able to move into government housing (as gross and depressing as it was, we were not living on the street). My mom’s medical costs were mostly covered by Medicaid. Since my mom had two children under the age of 18, she was given a small stipend (Aid for Dependent Children) for living expenses, which mostly covered the rent for the government housing. It was not fun. It was not ideal. However, looking back we could have been living on the street or at a shelter, yet we were taken care of by our government. Yes, you could say my parents paid into it with the taxes they paid over the years, and this is true. Yet, it could have been different.

What concerns me the most is if these types of programs are pulled! What other families might be in a similar situation and for whatever reason are not granted help? What if Medicaid goes away, or food stamps, or other government assistance programs? I cannot imagine how my life would have turned out without the assistance we received. Yes, there are more details to the story. My mom eventually passed on. I eventually turned 18. Life moved forward.

I hope that in the realm of politics, we can move forward as a country. We can remove the hatred between political parties. We can move towards change. We need to continue to take care of our neighbors, regardless of race, income, sex, or religion. I hope regardless of political passions, that we embrace the programs that support those going through a hardship. If we can just get away from the mentality of more, more, more and take care of each other. If we can do that, we will be as fierce and strong as ever.

Your Intuition. Your Inner Voice.

I subscribe to Oprah’s emails. Sometimes I like what I read, other times I could care less. One of the quotes I read in a recent Oprah email lead me to make a post-it of the quote and I even wrote the date of when it was included in her email:

August 22, 2012

“Somewhere in there, among the worries, questions, advice and advertising jingles, lives your intuition, your true ‘inner voice.’ You can hear it to the extent that you give it your attention.”

—  Martha Beck

I love this. So often we become caught up in life’s responsibilities that we forget to listen. We get so caught up in hearing all the other voices, that we do not listen to the voice we should be attuned to hearing. Our own voice. The better we get at shutting the door to all the crap, the voices that tell us we are not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, the better we get at hearing the calm. The confidence that says you are doing a good job. You are enough. You matter. You got to where you are today for a reason. You impressed someone. Maybe that was by your true employable skills, or maybe it was your attitude. Be it confident, or cocky, or energetic, or positive… Someone saw something in you that made them want you to stick around.

Are you listening to your inner voice? Is it telling you that you are in the very right place this moment? Does it tell you that you are happy? That you have all you need right now? Most likely you do have everything you need. Often it seems that in keeping up with the Jones’, we push so hard to be and have something we are not or do not need. We accumulate clutter and crap that only adds to our worries. Do we need it? Were we fine without it?

How much do you give your inner voice attention? How often do you listen to that voice? The one that tells you that you are full, but you still proceed to eat and stuff yourself (because it is so good, right)? Do you often sway to the side of what you want, when that voice inside tells you otherwise?

I am a big proponent of listening to intuition. If I cannot feel clear about an answer, or I do not hear my inner voice speaking to me, then I wait. Yes. I wait. It probably drives my husband bonkers, but it is what I have to do to be me. I have learned that if I wait when I am not clear, something usually happens that makes my decision for me. Sometimes it is more information than I had in the beginning, or other times a situation happens that sheds light (some might call it a sign) on what steps I need to take.

How do you know if you are listening to your inner voice?

Goodbye Photoshop, Hello Reality!

My senior year in college I did an independent class with my friend, Whitney. We developed the curriculum for our studies that quarter. The focus: The Objectification of Women in Media. We wanted to research, learn, and dig deep about what women and girls were really looking out when they looked at women in the media. Our main focus was on advertising – specifically in magazines. Jean Kilbourne was an author and filmmaker we followed; I definitely recommend reviewing her work. We went to a woman’s conference where she spoke. We did interviews, peer groups, and sessions with freshman women. We lived and breathed advertising and we learned a lot. To this day I cannot look at an ad without picking it apart.

Which is why I love this change.org petition to Teen Vogue (why is there even a Teen Vogue?) to show their models in their real form without Photoshop. They had already petitioned Seventeen magazine with this result:

“We’re really excited, because Seventeen didn’t just promise one un-photoshopped spread a month, they went even further by promising not to change the faces or body size of their models, to listen to readers’ feedback and to celebrate beauty in all of its diverse shapes, sizes and colors.”

Rock On! I love that women and girls are starting these petitions. We should live in a world that celebrates women for their real beauty. For what they look like when they wake up in the morning. For living and being proud of our curves, flaws, and differences. By having magazines print photos with models in unrealistic ways, it makes girls and women think that they will never achieve that level of beauty. The fact is they will never achieve it, because many times it is not possible. Even for the model in the photo.

We need to advertise, publish, and present images of reality. The good, the bad, and the flawed. We are all perfect just the way we are!

Running Is My Sweat Therapy

Over the weekend I purchased a dress at Title Nine. The bag my purchase came home in had the following quote:

“Sometimes sweat is the best form of therapy.”

-Samantha Dunn

What a great quote. It is definitely my form of therapy. I love coming home from work, debriefing about my day with Chris, throwing on my running clothes, grabbing whatever book I am currently reading, and revving up the treadmill for a long run. It helps me decompress from my day, relax a bit, mentally jump into the book I am reading, and sweat it all out.

Often I can have a dilemma in my head, and while running I resolve the dilemma in my thought. Or I break down an idea into an actionable plan, and determine what steps to take to make that plan happen. I can be in the middle of my run and have to pause it to make notes because even though I will not even be thinking about the problem a solution will come to me in the midst of sweat dripping out my pores.

I have not always felt that way. I have only been running consistently for the last 5 years. Before that I did not really have an exercise regimen that I followed. Some might say that I am pretty hard-core now. But, I do not care. It is my therapy. It keeps me sane. It allows my mind to process, synthesize, and resolve questions in my thought.

Sweat = therapy.

Have a great holiday weekend, sweat and all!

Should Girls Have “Girl Legos”?

I am torn. I just purchased a “Lego Friends – Adventure Camper” which is basically the girl version of a camping Lego set. At the time I thought it was the perfect gift for a girl – that for once there was a Lego for a girl who did not always have to do with helicopters, action heroes, and cars. Softer colors, yet could also be used by a boy. It felt like something I would have wanted as a young girl.

Then I saw this petition on Change.org. It is a petition against Lego to “stop selling out girls.” The SPARK Movement and Powered By Girl are behind the petition that debunks the idea that: “girls want pink, already-assembled toys that don’t do anything.” I love this quote from the petition:

“I can speak from personal experience and assure you, LEGO, that girls do like minifigs. They also like Star Wars and Harry Potter, and they like being creative and making up stories that involve adventures and good and evil and things blowing up. But if you keep on excluding them from your marketing vision, soon they will start to believe that they would rather have hot tubs and little plastic boobs.”

So I am torn with my purchase. I think all kids like playing with Legos. Do girls notice the difference? Do they know that Legos have always been designed for boys? Do they care? Do they like having the people who go along with the Legos be girls rather than usually only boys?

I would love to hear what you think. I am trying to decide if I should unwrap and return my gift.