women

“More than just a princess.”

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Last night I spent the evening with a group of colleagues, all women. It was a badass bunch of women. Loads of talent, creativity, ingenuity, and well…sassy spunk. I am a sassy spunk kind of girl. I like to laugh. I like to ponder the world, deliberate on how individuals interact, and at the end of the day explore how women can rule the world. Why not, right? The mind of a woman is complex, intricate, and full of multi-tasking wonder. It is fun to have an evening of good food, conversation, and appreciation in the middle of the week.

I drove home thinking, “would I have had the same kind of evening with a mixed group of men and women?” My answer is yes, and no. See I did not know everyone well. I knew some better than others. And yet, I feel like women know how to bridge that gap, and find ways to connect, in ways that men don’t. Or so I think, since the last time I checked, I am not a man. Thank God.

Which is why this video resonated with me (much like “Riley and Pink Toys“). A good friend shared it on Facebook, and I had to share it, because while it is about future girl engineers, and toys for girls, it also makes me think of how the woman’s mind works. How everything in a woman’s mind is interconnected, a puzzle always being put together and solved.

A Beastie Boys twist of lyrics is what also does it for me. By the way, I love the girl’s t-shirt. “More than just a princess.” Damn straight! I am grateful for the openness, sisterhood, and connection that can happen so easily between women.

#womenrock

Looks can be deceiving

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I know you probably know all you want to know about Photoshop, women, and the ads that show them as perfect. I am most likely not telling you anything new. But, here is the thing. Even though you know, even though it is not right, it is still happening. Whatever happened to transparency? What would it be like if a company photographed a model and shared the before and after shot? What if? Would that potentially open the eyes of young girls, hell, mid-life women who are telling themselves they are not worthy? If every time they saw an ad for their favorite actress, or model and if only they knew how many takes, how much work happened in Photoshop to make that perfect photo? Would that maybe help them think differently about their skin, their nose, their fat? 

Body issues tend to always be at the back of most girls and women’s minds. How can they not? We are surrounded by the media, onlookers of the testosterone mindset always looking us over for their approval. Hell, it is also known that women look other women over. Maybe it is just to compare notes of where they stand against another, maybe it is to get ideas for what they might want to wear, or maybe we are just as curious as the male species.

In any case, the woman’s body is over scrutinized beyond belief. What scares me most is how far from reality ads are today showing the woman’s body. Sure, there have been companies (Dove for example) that have shown real women without Photoshop, but that is the exception. The norm shows women without a single flaw. Now I am not excluding men here, but come on. The media will show George Clooney with a wrinkle long before it will on a woman. Just think of the newscasters today, you often see an old man, but you rarely see an old woman.

So when I saw this video of the before and after of a model, I wanted to yell: Stop it! Let us all be. Let us buy the soap we want because it works, or smells good, or makes us feel sexy, not because some model makes us think we will only be happy in life, and have what they have because we have been erroneously convinced that this product will change our life. It will not. I promise you. Tell your sisters, daughters, mother, friends to watch for these bullshit depictions of women in the media. To not get sucked in. We are all who we are regardless of our wrinkles, ripples, fat, and blemishes. Do not make anyone or anything tell you differently.

My thoughts of what a man thinks…

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I had drinks with some friends on Friday night. We were laughing and joking around about men and women. Eventually we ended talking about randomolio.com. Someone said to me, I wonder what you would say if you wrote about “What a man thinks…”

It made me chuckle. It made me think about a conversation at work a few weeks ago, where a few of us were answering the question, if you had any superpower what would it be? I answered: reading people’s minds. Yes, I know what you might be thinking. That would be annoying, chaotic, and people would stop wanting to be around me if they knew. I have thought often about that superpower, because so often I find that people do not really say what they are thinking. Ever thought of that? As a woman do you wonder what a man is thinking at a given moment? As a man, I am sure you wonder all that is going through a woman’s mind.

Now back to men. Do they say what they are thinking? Yes, and no. I cannot make a blanket statement for all men, but the ones I have watched throughout my life, well I have found that they say what they are thinking when they feel safe, or powerful, or comfortable, or when there is actually something on their mind. See it really depends on the dynamics in a room, and it ALWAYS matters if there is something going on in their mind.

I have learned with Chris, if there is an issue that bothers me enough when he brings it up, that over time he stops bringing it up (word of note to other women). I have also learned that unlike a woman, there are always times when there is nothing going on inside that male mind. A woman, well that is a different story. The electrical outlets are always in use. There is always some thought process happening, but when you ask a man what is going on up there, there are times when literally nothing is happening. Ever heard of: The Nothing Box? If not, you will want to watch (apologies for the horrible, blurry YouTube video, the audio is what really matters).

What do you think?

What does your internal mirror say?

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Tears in my eyes. This video has been going around Facebook. It is the Dove Campaign: “Real Beauty Sketches.” At first I hesitated to watch it because I have seen so many Dove commercials about women and beauty, but then I could not resist. Everyone (men and women) should watch this video. A sketch artist listens to a woman, and then draws how he hears her explain her face. The woman leaves the room and meets with another woman. The second woman comes into the room and describes the first woman to the sketch artist and he draws what she tells him. Later the first woman looks at both drawing renditions of her. There is a stark contrast. The one that she describes is usually not as attractive or thin as how the second woman described her. Interesting right?

We need to have more confidence in ourselves. We are beautiful. We are unique. We matter. At times I think that women were not trained or raised to brag about ourselves, we only learned to cut ourselves down. There were many years in my life that I was just that way. Later, when I found my voice in college, and I started to talk out loud and speak up, my confidence in who I am grew. I stopped caring what other individuals thought of me and my body. Remember we are each badass and beautiful women. Start telling the story of your gorgeous smile, laugh lines, bright eyes, and clear skin. You are perfect just the way you are right now. Bring that self in all you do.

“You are more beautiful than you think.”

Fight for it. Bring it.

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Over the weekend I was penciling in my calendar a friend’s art show coming up in June. I decided to check out the website of the gallery where her show will be held and found this show. What a clever idea, be sure to click the show link for a full image. I have included a bit of the text here as it is hard to read on the left side of the photo:

WHAT DO YOU FIGHT FOR? Whether it’s in a cage, for the rights of others, or just for her attention, we are all fighting for something

I fight for _______

It made me think about and ponder what I fight for. What does it mean to fight for something? Do the people or things you fight for have levels or degrees to how much effort you give? Do some people receive the tall or grande effort while others might get the venti or Big Gulp? If there are ranges, then are you really fighting for those that only receive the grande effort? This is the list that came to me: 

I fight for: my husband, my family and friends, women’s rights, literacy, children to eat healthy and be active on a daily basis, integrity, an hour a day to run (= sanity), fairness, equality…the list goes on.

However, I am not sure my list should go on. If I were being honest with myself, my husband would receive the infinite beverage size of my energy. Mess with my husband and you have to deal with me. Yes, he can completely take care of himself, and does not need me to get involved, but that does not mean that my competitive, fighting self will not lose all control against someone who tries to mess with my better half. So does that mean I do not think that childhood obesity is not worth fighting for? No. It is about the effort I give out. I would go to combat to fight for my husband, and while I am passionate about childhood obesity, it is not the same level of fight that I would have for Chris.

Have you thought about which things in your life you want to fight for? When the opportunity presents itself, do you really fight for them?