the secret language of money

“Money does not grow on trees.”  I remember this idea was said to me often growing up.  My parents struggled with money.  Often my siblings and I never knew if we were going to have money for food, if the electricity was going to be turned off, or if bill collectors would ever stop calling.

Later in high school I lived with my grandma.  She lived during the depression and in many ways continued to live ‘depression era’ tendencies throughout the rest of her life.  Since I spent so much time with her during what might be called my “cumulative” years, I took on many of these tendencies.  Unknowingly I began to write my money story that ensured I would never live the way I did growing up, and my story included many of my grandma’s depression ideals.  My money choices are not bad, they are just more Scrooge-like, and some of my ways could be seen as being savvy like some of the ideas listed here.  Now that I am on my own, happily married, and in a place that many would call secure, I continue to live in a depression mentality.  My outlook seeks security.  Since I never had the security growing up to know that we would have what we need, I’ve overcompensated by trying to save and save.  At times at the expense of saying no to what could have been rewarding and adventurous experiences.

In my quest to change this mentality, I came across the book: The Secret Language of Money, by David Krueger, M.D.  At first I thought this would be a drab read, more textbook style, but after really diving in, it is actually a practical read with helpful explanations of how we can at any moment change our money story.  He gives thorough details for the the many ways we behave irrationally about money, and how to rewrite and recreate a new story.  Here are a few questions from his book that I found really helpful to ponder in light of rewriting my money story:

  • What childhood experience, attitudes, and ideas about money can you remember?
  • When you were growing up, what ideas and attitudes were you presented with regarding money, its use, and its importance?
  • How did your parents feel about and behave with money?
  • What did your parents tell you about money?
  • Was this consistent with how you saw them behave about money?

I encourage you to read this book and take some time to see if you are living a money story that no longer serves you.

How are you going to change the road map for your money story?

I’m off to ponder these ideas further…

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