We All Just Want To Be Loved

It seems like with everything I do the idea that continues to come back to me again and again is that we each just want to be loved. Whether it is a child acting out, another starting a tantrum, or a child that does not stop talking because all they want is attention. It might be the co-worker that does a certain thing that when you watch from the sidelines you see it is a call out to all to listen and see them. It might be a boss that needs a bit of love too. We all need love no matter what role we fill. Sometimes, though, some of us do not know how to ask for love, or to show others that we need it and to compensate, we act out. Others may find us acting needy. When really all we are want from the deep parts of our soul, is to feel and be LOVED.

Do you know others around you that you can see so badly want to feel loved? Do you give them the love they need? Do you know how? Sometimes even those crying out for love do not know how to receive it in return. For me, when I am in a conversation with someone else, I want to focus on that conversation and connection completely. I want to give of myself during that time period. However, when I find those I am interacting with are not present or are distracted, it often sends me a message that I am not valued, heard, or loved. It is a place of frustration for me. So I focus often (or try to) on what others are saying and being present in my conversations with them. I want them to know and feel that I care and am present. I want them to feel that I hear them. It is all a form of love.

a little LOVE in Venice, CA

Do you agree? Do you think that at the core of all we do we all just want to be and feel loved? If you agree, how does that help you to focus differently on others today? Tomorrow? The next day?

Do You Watch Jeff Lewis?

I was talking with someone last week about Jeff Lewis. Have you ever seen either of his shows? His first show was: Flipping Out, and his more recent show is: Interior Therapy. Both are on Bravo and are about designing homes. Jeff Lewis is a character. He is direct, crass, and definitely not politically correct. I am not sure I could ever work for him. I do not have the patience that Jenny (his assistant) does. He would definitely fire me quickly, because I would have to tell him how horrid he is to his employees.

Having said all that, he is hilarious to watch, and he has impeccable design taste. I would live in one of his designed homes in a second (if I could afford one)! I decided to Google him a bit, and found his Facebook page. I had fun seeing all his candid photos of random people or things he finds while out in Los Angeles. Of course I had to “like” it so that his random posts will show up in my Facebook feed and I can smile, laugh, or roll my eyes.

Flipping Out is a show about flipping homes that started a few years ago. When flipping homes slowed down with the economy and real estate plunge, Jeff shifted the show towards his design expertise and helped individuals redo their internal spaces, rather that flipping large homes. The theme that was thread through the show was that Jeff also would flip out at his clients, employees, and subcontractors. All the time. As with a home that is being flipped, time and effort improves the home. The same has happened with Jeff. Over a few seasons, he flips out less. A new season of Flipping Out has just started. Try it out. (I also included part of a random episode below).

You might find it is one of your new favorite shows, or you might find that Jeff’s design skills rank way above his people skills.

Remember Playing MASH?

Do you remember as a kid playing MASH (Mansion/Apartment/Shack/House)? It used to be a horoscope/8-ball into your future. As a girl (and I can imagine more girls than boys played this game), you would list out 4 boys names, 4 cars, 4 numbers (usually meant for # of kids), 4 cities, and 4 jobs. Then the friend asking you the questions would say “Go” and they would make draw lines until you said “Stop.” Then they would count the number of lines and use that to go through the list and cross off items in each list until there was only one left. I have not played that game in years and years. AND. Yes, there is an online version. No longer do kids (if they still play this game) write on notebook paper. There is also, yes you guessed it, a MASH app.

MASH

It came to me today because we have been house hunting and it made me think about the house I grew up in, and how much my parents paid for that house, and how expensive homes are today. Like dominos, my mind went from the house I grew up in, to my neighborhood, to childhood friends, to games we played and then to MASH. Does your mind do that kind of domino effect of one thing to another?

As I started writing this post, I remembered I had this article saved for a while from LearnVest about “How much my lifestyle will cost?” I had been meaning to use their MASH style calculator that tells you how much money you need to be saving to have that MASH-esque lifestyle. It is sort of like a dream calculator.

Ah…the things we did as kids. The dreams we had for our mansion, the boys we dreamed about growing old with, the luxury car, oh the list goes on. In the end, it all turned out all right. Dreams are good though. Some we meet, some we never attain, and some we blow out of the water!

The Infinite Uses of Creative Thought

Over the Labor Day weekend we were walking through the Annual Art in the Pearl festival in Portland and saw this quote on a nearby gallery window:

on a window in Portland…

It really resonates with me. “Inform and delight.” If you do not know Milton Glaser, you can check out his website. He is most known for creating the I (heart) NY slogan. I love this idea that art should: inform and delight. I can get behind that. We all have ways that we are creative in our lives. Do you ever wonder if you are an artist? Does being creative inspire you?

There are so many ways to be creative in this world. You can be a jeweler. A baker, a candlestick maker (just kidding – well I guess you could be). A designer, a cake maker, you can design fonts, or logos, or PowerPoints. You can design rugs, or blankets, or scarves. You can be a food photographer, or photograph people, or landscapes. You can be a painter (visual) or a house painter. You can be an architect, or a builder, or a landscape designer. You can be a product designer, or a graphic designer, or a product engineer. You can be a chef, or make pastries, or develop the grapes for a fine wine. You can design a website, or an app used by the multitudes. You can design furniture, or appliances, or cars. You can sew, or be a ceramist, or work with metals. Oh the mirad ways to be creative, and I have just named a few.

You can be a writer, or an editor, or a strategist. All require some effort of design.

Whatever role we fill each day, try starting your day using your creativity to “inform and delight.”

Goodbye Photoshop, Hello Reality!

My senior year in college I did an independent class with my friend, Whitney. We developed the curriculum for our studies that quarter. The focus: The Objectification of Women in Media. We wanted to research, learn, and dig deep about what women and girls were really looking out when they looked at women in the media. Our main focus was on advertising – specifically in magazines. Jean Kilbourne was an author and filmmaker we followed; I definitely recommend reviewing her work. We went to a woman’s conference where she spoke. We did interviews, peer groups, and sessions with freshman women. We lived and breathed advertising and we learned a lot. To this day I cannot look at an ad without picking it apart.

Which is why I love this change.org petition to Teen Vogue (why is there even a Teen Vogue?) to show their models in their real form without Photoshop. They had already petitioned Seventeen magazine with this result:

“We’re really excited, because Seventeen didn’t just promise one un-photoshopped spread a month, they went even further by promising not to change the faces or body size of their models, to listen to readers’ feedback and to celebrate beauty in all of its diverse shapes, sizes and colors.”

Rock On! I love that women and girls are starting these petitions. We should live in a world that celebrates women for their real beauty. For what they look like when they wake up in the morning. For living and being proud of our curves, flaws, and differences. By having magazines print photos with models in unrealistic ways, it makes girls and women think that they will never achieve that level of beauty. The fact is they will never achieve it, because many times it is not possible. Even for the model in the photo.

We need to advertise, publish, and present images of reality. The good, the bad, and the flawed. We are all perfect just the way we are!