Ideas

Poofy sleeves, dresses, and guilt…

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Do you remember times growing up when you told adults what they wanted to hear? Why did we do that? In our youth we should have felt free to say exactly what was on our mind.

I remember my grandma would buy my sister and me a dress each Easter. It was our Easter Sunday dress. Usually I hated it. I would wear it on Easter Sunday and then hide it in the back of my closet in hopes that she would never remember that she purchased it for me (or that I never wore it again). As I got older my mom encouraged me to just tell my grandma that I did not like it and that I would like to return it. It was always hard for me to tell her. I felt awful. I always thought I was hurting her feelings. Bummer, right?

a smile for the smurf cake, not sure about that dress though…

So…I wonder…what is it that makes kids feel they cannot be upfront? What made me just want to hide the dress and not discuss it with her? Partly I think it had to do with my dad who often would shut us down if we ever got the guts to confront him (which was rare). I think it imbedded into my thick skull that confrontation and speaking my mind was a bad thing. I was being disrespectful to my elders.

Something shifted inside me in college, almost to the opposite extreme, where now it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Now, that does not mean that I do not hold back. It also does not mean that I just steamroll everyone. I am pointed and thoughtful about my confrontation, but I feel less and less uncomfortable with saying what needs to be said.

What if we were able to raise children that had no fear of taking risks? Of speaking their mind and confronting their elders rationally? Does that teach them how to continue in their life with strength, poise, and determination? Sounds better to me than putting on that balloon dress to avoid confrontation.

What do you think?

Don’t let the f**kers get you down…

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Yesterday was a rough day. I wonder if it was just in the air due to the election. If the results made some agitated and others gloriously happy. I am dismayed by some of the comments on Facebook that were just so negative towards President Obama. I dislike the hatred I see. There should still be respect for the office of the President.

My day felt like a boulder was laid on me as the hours turned from morning to afternoon. I struggled. I got mad. I vented. I felt put in an unfair position. Then I went for a run. I felt better. Then the nagging voices came back. Tears came to my eyes (which does not happen too often). I felt overwhelmed. Stressed. Uninspired. I took a hot, hot shower after my run. Why does that always help to solve problems? Okay, so maybe it does not solve any problems, but it helps to wash them away for a short period of time.

What kept coming to me while running, while showering, while driving home was gratitude. It is often that word that comes to my thought when I am frustrated. When I do not see an answer to a problem. Gratitude for what is. Clearer thoughts tend to come when I focus on gratitude: I am trying too hard. I need to take a step back and breathe and enjoy the moment. I need to learn to say no. I need to learn to ask for help. I cannot do everything, and I cannot make everyone happy.

I do not like certain decisions made, but they have been made. I do not appreciate the value they express, but that is not mine to decide. In the words of a print I purchased from a local artist: “Don’t let the f**kers get you down.” When I show my reaction, I have let them in. I have shown the signs of wear and tear.

My next steps are to repair, communicate, and move on. My inclination is to close up and not let those back in. Why do we often react in that way? Why do we live so often like a snapdragon, and open only to catch our prey, and then close back again?

I need peace of mind, freshness of direction, and that clear voice that tells me I am on the right path. I am ready for my answer. I am ready to feel at peace.

 

This is a f-ing crazy job application…

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When I came across this Fast Company article titled: “Are you a social strategist? Can you make your mom a star on Twitter? Wieden + Kennedy wants you.” Wow. Wieden + Kennedy is savvy. If you have not heard of them they are a local and famous ad agency. As I read over the job description I was dumbfounded. While it would be such a forward movement for a career to work for Wieden + Kennedy, I think reading this job description made me feel old.

You might not be able to read the article entirely unless you subscribe, so I will do a short recap so you understand a bit of the context. Wieden + Kennedy is looking for a social strategist for their Old Spice campaign. They are looking for someone to “shake things up in the social sphere.” Below are the options someone could try when they apply, with my additional notes after each:

Challenge 1 – Create the best original Pinterest board dedicated to the sport of inline speed skating (NOT roller-hockey). Um. Inline speed skating. Not my thing, so no interest there to create the best Pinterest board. Sorry folks.

Challenge 2 – Create and post an original piece of content to Reddit that then receives the most upvotes in a single week. Wow. I think I might be starting to break a sweat.

Challenge 3 – Create and upload to SlideShare an original, in-depth competitive analysis of the Ed Hardy social media ecosystem. I would have no idea where to even start on this one.

Challenge 4 – Get the most people to friend your mother or your father (or a parent-like figure in your life) on Facebook in a single week. My mother and father are no longer living. Not even remotely interested in this one.

Challenge 5 – Create an original (new) Twitter account and then use it to get the most followers in a week using any verbs you like, but only the following nouns: “BLUEFUDGE,” “HAMMERPANTS” and “GREEK YOGURT.” Um. Seriously. I would love to see results from this challenge.

Challenge 6 – Create an original YouTube video that then receives the most plays in a single week using this script verbatim:
#1: “Wait. What are you doing?”
#2: “Trust me. This will be fine.”
#1: “Ok. Go ahead.” No comment.

Challenge 7 – Get recommendations on LinkedIn from at least three other people trying to get this job. I think this one could top the charts if successful. 

Challenge 8 – Create the most reviewed recipe on allrecipes.com in a single week using cottage cheese as an ingredient. The reviews don’t have to be good. I’m in! Food bloggers unite! 

Challenge 9 – Upload the most pictures of your armpit(s) to Instagram during the course of this challenge. The pictures must have your face in them to verify your identity and include the hashtag #mypits. Um. Gross. Especially since I started sweating reading Challenge 2.

Challenge 10 – Using Quora, give thought-out, meaningful answers to as many dream catcher-related questions as possible in a single week. How many could there really be?

Whew. I am exhausted. Are you? So if you wanted to be the social strategist for Wieden + Kennedy which challenge would you pick? Cottage cheese? That one seemed like the easiest and I do not even cook. Job searches, resumes, and online applications have been taken to a whole new level. What will be next? 

Do we have to be perfect?

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I have always thought of myself as “Type-A” or a perfectionist. Some words I have used to describe myself have been: anal, particular, and needing to have things a certain way. To a point, these words do describe me. However, I am not neurotic about it. I just want things to go well. I want to do my best. I want things to look good, and happen as planned. Is that so bad?

So when I read the section on perfection in “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brene Brown (the book which I blogged about last week). I was in awe. I was wowed. It shifted me to have an ah-ha moment and look at myself differently. All of these years I have thought of myself as a perfectionist, and yet all I have ever really wanted is to have excellence shine through. Anything my name was attached to, well I wanted it to be good. Wikipedia states that perfectionism is: “striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.” After reading that description and Brown’s book, I realize I am not that into being perfect. Which is why I love this specific line from Brown’s book:

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence.” Page 128

I feel as though a boulder has been thrown off. It makes me not feel so nit picky about myself. If I try hard, do my best, and the outcome is good, then that is my own excellence. I have never wanted it to be flawless, as that is too picky to me. Besides, we learn more from making mistakes. Perfection is not everything.

How have I lived this long and just now learned this about myself? What a revelation! Does Brown’s quote resonate with you?

A little burgundy, a lot of voting…

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Unlike Ron Burgundy aka Will Ferrell (see below video), I will not do anything for you so you will go and vote. Why? Because you should go vote because it is a freedom and privilege. (Sorry in advance for those of you that are not in the United States. This is an important and timely topic in the US.)

As many of you may know, I do not like writing about politics. I dislike the separation it causes among friends and family. So I usually keep my mouth shut. However, there is one thing I cannot stay quiet about: voting. You MUST vote on Tuesday. No matter what your political party, or who you are going to vote for (although I do have an opinion on who you should vote for – I will keep that to myself). Today I just want to emphatically ask you to go and vote. Speak up, and cast your vote. And now a message from Will Ferrell himself:

A little comedy goes a long way. What I love about his video is that his message is mostly (until the last few seconds) just about going and voting. There are still countries where both men and women are not allowed to vote. Think of voting as speaking your mind and sharing your voice. We have the freedom to vote that others in the world do not have. So, we should all take advantage of our right to vote. We should not take it for granted. We should use this right to make a difference.

If you do not vote, you cannot be upset anytime in the next four years if you do not like the outcome. You cannot have an opinion about the direction of education, taxes, our economy, etc. if you do not go and VOTE.

Please, please, please go and cast your ballot on Tuesday!