A little something new…

After seeing my niece a week ago, I have to say I have baby on the brain. My good friend is also going to be a momma any day now. With all these precious munchkins on the mind this video just hit the spot for me. It brought tears the first time Chris showed it to me, and since then I continue to see it being shared all over different social networks. What is it about watching a belly grow over time, to inspire and remind us of the precious little one growing inside? I know, I know, some of you might think wow you sure have blogged about babies lately.

I am not sure if there are words to explain it. There was a connection with my niece a week ago, that has not left me. Maybe it is because it is my sister’s baby, but there is a love there that I cannot begin to explain. It makes me think how much stronger and how fierce will that love be when it is my little one that is welcomed to this world. I cannot yet imagine.

In the below video, the father, Tom Fletcher, who is the lead singer of British band “McFly” wrote the song “Something New.” His wife, Giovanna, was photographed each day while pregnant in the same outfit and they put it together in the below video.

I love the line: “I guess I’m ready, I think I’m ready, I hope I’m ready, for something new.” I think I might soon be ready for something new.

 

Badass self, no apologies

I love when people are wholeheartedly themselves. They say what is on their mind, and sometimes do not have a filter. I very much say what is on my mind, and while I do know when to have a filter in most situations, I am still blunt and say what I think. Last September I wrote a blog about being “Unapologetically herself.” It is my modus operandi. Why should we be anything other than who we are? Why should we hide our true selves?

Last week I wrote about the book: “Mile Markers.” After traveling and a full week, I can tell you I am now two-thirds done with this book, and have a zillion dog-eared pages. An idea jumped off the page at me when I was reading last night. It is from writer-comedian Katie Goodman that the author has framed on her desk:

“There will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case you must be your own badass self, without apology.”

I think I want to steal the idea and add it to the other thoughts and inspirations that sit above my desk. I am less worried about whether individuals will accept me and more interested in making sure I am being me. Life is short, YOLO (you only live once), so why should we not live each day as our badass selves? How and when did we start to apologize for ourselves? I try to think back to when I started apologizing for myself, and it is a blur. My dad raised us that children should be seen and not heard. Why, oh why dad was that important to you? It makes me want to bring together all my friends that have just had babies and say, please, oh please raise your children each day knowing their worth, and encourage them to live their lives to the fullest as their individual badass self.

Forget the nay sayers, the poo poo-ers, and those that discourage you in life. Let go of those that shut or knock you down, belittle you, or potentially throw you under the bus (as the saying goes). Lead your own life, if you do you will be strong and unflappable. I am not going to apologize for glorious me, and you should not either.

No apologies.

Letting go of the intensity

Life is an ebb and flow. Some years are full, intense, and feel like you are drowning in life and all that is required of you. 2013 for example was a year of crazy intensity for me, but not in the way you might think. The intensity was of what I had set out to do for the year, and not so much about working long hours, or balancing tons of competing priorities. I had set out to beat my goals from 2012, and with that continued my addiction to reading and running. I still have my addiction in 2014, but in potentially a more balanced way.

Last year I read over 100+ books and was running an average of 5+ days a week. I loved every minute of it. I loved wasting an hour of my time in a book, while running on the treadmill. It was “me” time. Moments where I could decompress from my day and jump head first into a novel, forgetting all else that happened that day, to pull myself out an hour later, refreshed, recharged, and ready for whatever came next in my evening. Somehow as 2014 has continued to evolve, my craziness over running and reading has not waned, but other things in life have taken precedence over my intensity to finish the amazing book I am reading, or to stretch my legs on the treadmill. I have played more, visited with friends, and worked on other creative endeavors. Maybe 2014 is my year to chill.

Has my life changed drastically to make this happen? Not really. What has changed? Mostly I have let go. I have relaxed and listened to what my body wanted at the end of the day. Sometimes my brain and body are so wiped out that I decide to take a hot bath and relax my body and mind for an hour instead of going for an intense run. I have relaxed more into myself and feel less guilty about not going for a run that day if my body is saying: “NO.” While I sometimes miss my daily hour of reading/running, I have begun to make other choices in place of my run/book. Every once in a while guilt will creep in and tell me: “You are lazy. It will hurt when you run tomorrow, or the next day.” Or I think wow, I have only read xx books and run xx times this year. But, who cares, right?

Do you have things in your life that you do not want to budge on, yet if you did your life might feel more balanced?

Doting on Charlie

Over the weekend I visited my sister and got to meet my three-week old niece. Her name is Charlise and they have been calling her Charlie. I secretly love calling her Charlie. She looks like a Charlie. Do not ask me to explain, as I will get defensive, just trust me, she is a Charlie. She is a feisty little one, even at three weeks. My sister always said she had a kicker, and she definitely lets her legs move or tighten at her own will. Especially when you change her diaper. She will tighten her little thighs (which I call chicken legs). She is very, very long for her size, has long feet, toes, and fingers, but the cutest thunder thighs (thus the chicken legs). When she does not want you to change her diaper (which hell must be new when you have just been pooping in the womb for all those months and now you have to wear a diaper). Anyway – she will tighten her legs/thighs and make it much, much harder to change her diaper. I love it. A fighter, which hopefully means she will tell it like it is, when she starts to babble and eventually talk. Right now, she communicates with her legs. My sister says she often kicks her while nursing. Little Charlie communicates in her own way.

Recently I came across this quote from Anne Lamott, and it made me think about how I felt today as I left my sister and my niece and boarded an airplane back to Portland:

“The depth of the feeling continued to surprise and threaten me, but each time it hit again and I bore it…I would discover that it hadn’t washed me away.”

Is that what it is like for most moms? I had a good afternoon yesterday. There was good energy in the office, but I kept thinking about my time with Charlie. Whatever it is, whether because she is so small and precious or because it is my sister’s daughter, I just feel such a strong connection to her. I will be there for her whenever she does not feel she can talk to her mom or dad (that is what aunt’s are for). I will be her “fun” aunt that teaches her all the sassy and fun things about life. I will pamper her, play with her, and above all else let her know that I am just another person in her life to love her to pieces. Hopefully I will not smother her with all my love for her, but that it will be just the right balance of spoiling her. Maybe I am making up for the fact that my parents are not here to dote on her. Even so I just want her to know how loved she is by her aunt and uncle regardless of the fact that we live on the north side of this country.

We already miss you tons, Charlie. We will be back soon.

Aunt T + Uncle C

A man and his TV…

What is it about a man and his TV? I was traveling this weekend and while running on the treadmill at the hotel I was staying at, I watched a bit of “Love it, or List it.” A Canadian TV show with 2 hosts, a realtor that wants to find that perfect place for the family, or the designer that can make changes to your home and make you want to stay. At the end of the episode the couple decides if they are going to stay in their current upgraded home (Love it) or sell their current home and buy a new one (List it).

While watching “Love it, or List it” over the weekend, there was an episode about a man and his massive TV. The realtor (a man) was in heaven seeing the massive TV. The designer (a woman) did not get why such a large TV was a big deal. So what is it about the man and the big TV? Such a variety of options, sizes, HD, pixels, etc. Yet, most of the women in my life could care less about any of it. So what is it about a man and his TV? Why do they get so over zealous to watch a football game on high definition? Is it because it feels like you are literally at the game, with a crisp, clear picture?

I never saw the end of the show, as I had finished my run and was back to my room for a shower and on to the rest of my day, however somehow I think that TV was allowed to stay. (The wife had remarked in an interview that they always fought about the TV). It is not an argument topic for us, but I think a big TV might always make it on the top ten list of must haves for Chris.

Regardless, I have resorted to chalking a man and his TV in the category of “it I what it is.” What item would you say about a woman? “A woman and her …”