Seeing the good

Posted by random olio

A good friend shared this blog from “Hands Free Mama” on Facebook and I had to share. While it is written through the eyes of a mom about her daughter, I think the ideas can apply to anyone. A boss and employee, a colleague, a friend.

Her report card says: “Distracted in large groups.” Yet her mother sees how she notices everything about the world around her. “That man is texting and driving.” “Grandpa is slower than the rest of us. We should wait.” The mother realizes how aware her daughter is, how perceptive and observant she is. Her daughter asks what is on her report card, and the mother is honest. The daughter says: “Oh, I do look around a lot.” And, rather than make her daughter feel bad for her this report card, she says: “Yes, you noticed Carter sitting off by himself with a skinned knee on the field trip, and you comforted him.” (and a few other things.)

Please read the rest of her blog post. You might have a pool of tears in your eyes, because this mom gave her daughter a gift. A gift of seeing her daughter clearly, and not just what was printed on paper. She helped her to see how aware she was about the world around her. And, you are in for a surprise at the end. The haircut comment was just over the top for me. It made me hope that my future son or daughter was just as perceptive, and aware. I loved this thought too:

“Oh dear God. Yes. Yes. We are all just waiting for someone to notice–notice our pain, notice our scars, notice our fear, notice our joy, notice our triumphs, notice our courage. And the one who notices is a rare and beautiful gift.”

Do you notice that about your friends, co-workers, family? Have you given them a gift to notice what they are hiding, and what they are hoping you will find out about them? At the end of each day, all we ever want is to be loved. Can you take a step away from being cool, from being seen to seeing others, to making others feel cool, needed, wanted, and loved?

Try it.

Warning: This may make you cry.

Posted by random olio

Yes, it brought tears to my eyes. And, yes, I have mentioned before that I do not cry often, but sometimes the little things bring tears to my eyes. It is usually when I am moved by something unusual. I do not often think about regrets from my life, but there is one thing that I think about usually every Christmas. It is a random item, but it is something I wish I still had. Each year around Christmas we would make different Christmas cookies and treats to have leading up to Christmas Day. Some we would give to other friends and families as gifts and some were for us. Whatever was still left on Christmas Eve I would leave out for Santa with a glass of egg nog and write him a letter.

While I cannot remember how old I was, or when it happened, eventually I knew that my dad ate the cookies and drank the egg nog. See, my dad had atrocious handwriting. Which is why I did not have to be Encyclopedia Brown to figure out it was him. You are probably wondering where I am going with this story. Well, the few years after my mom passed on, my dad was going through some rough times and we were not in close touch. While going through my mom’s things and knowing we had to get rid of as much as possible or pay to store it, I got rid of those letters. Partly because of space and partly because my dad and I were not so close at the time.

Throughout high school and college, and when I was away during summers I never got letters from my dad. These letters from Santa could potentially tell me a bit about my dad and what ideals, inspiration, and thoughts he wanted to share with me through the voice of Santa. They are gone. So when I saw this video for Extra gum, the tears came to my eyes. The gum wrapper origami birds would have been my letters from Santa.

Any tears? If so, call your dad, or your mom, or whoever you thought about while watching. That very person who made you feel loved.

Serial Comma User

Posted by random olio

Are you a serial comma user? I am. Do you know what it means to be a serial comma user? I did a bit of research to figure out whether there was a right or wrong way (or a right side and a wrong side) of the serial comma discussion. There are two camps. The one that says you should use the comma and the one that says it is not necessary, but no clear direction either way. A few months ago I finished reading the book: “How to Not Write Bad” by Ben Yagoda. This is what he says about commas:

“In a series of three or more items, do you put a comma after the penultimate one (right before the and or or)? That’s another trick question. If you are writing for the Associated Press, the answer is no. If you are writing for the New Yorker or the Oxford University Press, the answer is yes. (The OUP is so well known for this protocol that it has come to be referred to as ‘the Oxford comma.’) If you’re writing for yourself, the key thing–as in style choices generally–is consistency: choose a style you like, and stick with it.” page 51

I prefer to add the extra comma for clarity sake, but some have been trained from earlier on in school or their career to handle the serial comma a specific way. It messes with me a bit because I feel that there should be a clear rule on serial comma usage. I know you may think, seriously, Tami is this what you think about? But when thinking about business or corporate communications one wants to follow a standard, but if there is no standard…what is one to do?

Here are a few different takes on serial comma usage. Wikipedia and then an article from NPR. I agree with Yagoda, that when writing for yourself to choose consistency, but I think it really should be the same at work, regardless of if you work for the Oxford University Press, or the Oregonian. Why am I for the comma before the and/or? I feel like when you are listing it, if there is no comma where there should be one that it groups the words together. I will give you and example from “Grammar Girl:”

“Here’s a sentence that could mean different things with and without the final comma: Rebecca was proud of her new muffin recipes: blueberry, peanut butter and chocolate chip and coconut. Without a serial comma, you can’t be sure whether the last recipe is a combination of peanut butter and chocolate chip or a combination of chocolate chip and coconut.”

It is the little things, but sometimes the little things build up over time. Right? What do you think?

What drains you?

Posted by random olio

Lately I have been thinking about what drains me in life. The bright light I keep being led to is: negativity. Now I am not going to tell you I am a perfect angel. Yes, I get negative and frustrated and the world does not always look bright and shiny. When I speak of negativity I am thinking more of the person that is consistently negative. I do not want them in my life. I do not want them in my house. I do not want them Sam I Am. Sorry I got a little Dr. Seuss on you.

We all have someone in our life that sucks us dry, takes, and complains, and we have to work hard to find our equilibrium again. Why do we continue to allow this to happen? Sometimes we do not have a choice. They could be a client, vendor, family member, friend, or co-worker. We might have tried to share our thoughts and opinions while the other person remained defensive or could not see our point of view. What do we do when that person continues to drain us?

I believe that we all have a choice in how we approach our day. We have a choice to how we are going to respond. Sometimes it is not always easy to stay positive and kind when our day might be throwing us curve balls left and right. But you know deep within if it is your tendency to lead with positive thoughts, happiness, and a smile on your face. You know if you are truly enjoying your life. If you throw out the random bad day, do you approach your life with a glass half full mentality? I hope so. It makes things so much easier.

When others have shared their struggle, I often want to find a thread in the story that shines to all the goodness, gratitude, and wonderful things they have going for them. There is usually always a silver lining. My hope is to cultivate that goodness and nip negativity in the butt. Who wants it around? Not me. What if we tried to lead with the joyous part of life, and tried to eradicate the Debby Downers? Are you with me?

Toys, Sesame Street, and Missing Match-Ups

Posted by random olio

I cannot remember having a favorite toy growing up. I do remember being addicted to board games. I loved the challenge, I loved the strategy, and I loved the competition. Recently my sister reminded me of one of my favorite and probably earliest games. It was a Sesame Street game called: Missing Match-Ups. The best way to sum it up was that it was the Sesame Street version of memory.

I loved it. I imagine I begged my entire family to play with me. They probably did just so I would stop asking. I remember being very good, and I have a hunch they were not letting me win. I never wanted that, I always wanted to win on my own merit.

I do not know if my love of games grew out of my childhood. What I remember most was that it was a time my family was together. Often my mom did not join us, but I definitely remember the many times that she did. I wonder today how often families turn off the television, their phones, and iPads and sit around a table with food and games and connect with each other (whether your family is young or old). It was a time I always cherished as it seemed that we each gave each other the presence of now.

Do you have a favorite childhood game?