Goodness. Somedays it is hard to see it. Somedays are a struggle and it is harder to see the goodness in our lives. I ebb and flow with reminding myself that I need to focus on the good that is all around me. Usually when I have a moment of struggle and frustration I go down on my knees and am reminded of all that I have, all the goodness that surrounds me each and every day. Those moments of gratitude helps me to see what I am forgetting. Those moments remind us of the bigger picture.
Recently, I came across this excerpt from Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)’s Facebook page:
“The other day, the great author and sociologist Brené Brown (my sweet friend!) was asked, “What do you know for sure?”
She replied: “Fear is dangerous. But people are good.”
The evidence that people are good can be found all around us.
The evidence that fear is dangerous can also be found all around us — particularly because of the terrible things that fear makes people do (both to themselves and to each other.)
We all live amidst fear and goodness — and their consequences.
We are all composed of both fear and goodness.
You have a choice. Every moment of the day, you have choices.
You can follow your goodness, not your fear.
You can feed your goodness, not your fear.
You can support and encourage the goodness of others, rather than preying upon their fears or adding to their fears.
To choose goodness over fear is the single most life-affirming path a human being can ever possibly take.”
It was a good reminder for me. There is goodness in watching my niece do things for the first time. There is goodness in my day-to-day world. My marriage, my job, my family, friends, and home. Lots of good is happening around me. We all have a choice to decide to see the goodness or not. I choose to see the goodness. I choose to be happy. I choose goodness, not fear. That does not mean that I do not have fear. I do fear, but if I can focus on the good, it means I am seeing the light, not the darkness.
I cannot help but be grateful on this Christmas Eve. There is so much to be grateful for in life. An amazing husband, job, home, the happiest of nieces, my family, friends, laughter, just so much. While I am stuck at home with this awful gunk that has been going around, and snuggled in bed or on the couch, I still feel such immense gratitude for all the good that is happening in my life.
Yesterday (and the day before that too) my sister Facetimed me so that hopefully Charlie and her playfulness and laughter would cheer me up from feeling so horrible. Charlie has recently found sneezing (and I just found out burping) to be funny. Mind you she has a sense of humor because she is 10 months old today. To add to the sneezing and burping, my horrendous cough was making her giggle. Multiple times throughout our chat I would cough (you know the deep, uncomfortable kind that hurts) and she would giggle. While not fun to cough, it was fun to see her laugh and giggle. See goodness while feeling like shit.
Chris has been taking good care of me. He ran a few errands for me yesterday that should have taken an hour, and due to the holiday hell out, it took 3 hours. A good friend came to visit and we hung out for a few hours. I feel loved. While it will be just Chris and I for Christmas Day this year, and we have no idea how we are going to spend the day, I am actually looking forward to the quiet, no obligations to anyone, no plan, and selfishly to sleep in and be lazy together. And…hopefully to be done with this bug. Goodness and gratitude.
What are you grateful for on this Christmas Eve? Will you be with your family or friends? Flying solo? Regardless of where you are, what is good in your life and what are you grateful for today?
We all struggle with others. Somedays are better than others. You know when a sibling, or co-worker bug you or just get on your nerves. We agonize over what happened yesterday, or the conversation we overheard. It often leads to different thoughts, not always good ones that cross our mind. We judge, question, and ponder what happened.
What if we took a step back and loved them anyways? Of course you probably love your sibling, but that does not mean we always hold love in our hearts for them. There is a difference. They might get on your nerves one day, and just because you love them does not mean the thoughts you think of them are ones of love, goodness, or happiness. So, what if you let go of what happened and hold only good thoughts for them? What would that do for you?
There have been days I have tried this, to just let go of what happened, and think only good thoughts about the person that has frustrated me. It is not easy. So often we want to saturate ourselves in the experience we had, the way we were treated or wronged, and we want to hold a grudge. What if we were bigger than that? What if we wallowed for just a second, and then let it go and moved on with our life? We could then free space in our mind and thoughts for good. Just as the quote to the left states…”the more you will establish good in yourself.”
I am going to try it this week. Thinking about the thoughts I think towards others, and deciding to let go of the crap, and think of the good. Others deserve that from us, and is it not what you would want from others?
Lately I have been thinking about what drains me in life. The bright light I keep being led to is: negativity. Now I am not going to tell you I am a perfect angel. Yes, I get negative and frustrated and the world does not always look bright and shiny. When I speak of negativity I am thinking more of the person that is consistently negative. I do not want them in my life. I do not want them in my house. I do not want them Sam I Am. Sorry I got a little Dr. Seuss on you.
We all have someone in our life that sucks us dry, takes, and complains, and we have to work hard to find our equilibrium again. Why do we continue to allow this to happen? Sometimes we do not have a choice. They could be a client, vendor, family member, friend, or co-worker. We might have tried to share our thoughts and opinions while the other person remained defensive or could not see our point of view. What do we do when that person continues to drain us?
I believe that we all have a choice in how we approach our day. We have a choice to how we are going to respond. Sometimes it is not always easy to stay positive and kind when our day might be throwing us curve balls left and right. But you know deep within if it is your tendency to lead with positive thoughts, happiness, and a smile on your face. You know if you are truly enjoying your life. If you throw out the random bad day, do you approach your life with a glass half full mentality? I hope so. It makes things so much easier.
When others have shared their struggle, I often want to find a thread in the story that shines to all the goodness, gratitude, and wonderful things they have going for them. There is usually always a silver lining. My hope is to cultivate that goodness and nip negativity in the butt. Who wants it around? Not me. What if we tried to lead with the joyous part of life, and tried to eradicate the Debby Downers? Are you with me?