Keeping things inside

Posted by random olio

I was talking with a few individuals over the weekend, and the topic of keeping things inside came up. It made me think about growing up and how we are taught to communicate. Growing up my dad always said that children were to be seen and not heard. We were not given a forum or safe place to speak up and say what we felt. Often I knew that I disagreed with my dad, but if I spoke up and said what I really felt, I would hear the wrath of my father. He always felt it was disrespectful to go against his viewpoint.

Ah, the anguish I felt to have to keep my thoughts and feelings inside. My home growing up either had thoughts and feelings put under carpets, stored in the attic, or they came out with rage and anger. I never saw the balance of real communication. However, somehow I was always fascinated with how others communicated. When I saw a man gently interact with a woman, I was fixated. When I saw a couple communicate amicably even while in a heated discussion, I was intrigued.

It was not until I was in college in my early twenties that I found my voice. I can almost remember what it felt like. I was writing a paper for a Sociology class, and in the process of writing that paper, something shifted and I knew that it was a pivotal moment in my life. I had found my voice. Ironically, the paper I was writing was on the topic of “voice” and in writing that paper, my voice had surfaced.

I no longer keep my thoughts and feelings inside. My dilemma now is to continue to work through the balance between speaking up and saying what I think needs to be said, and how that voice comes out. There is a graceful way to be bold and direct, but also to do it in a way that the other person can hear what you have to say. If you are angry while being direct, you can piss someone off, offend, and turn them away. Speaking gracefully for me is a work in progress. I do not always do it right, but I am learning along the way. The important part is that I speak, use my voice, and have it out in the open.

Do you keep things inside, or is it easy breezy for you to say what you think?

It is all about moments…

Posted by random olio

Recently I came across this quote from Nicholas Sparks:

“And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love.”

It made me think about how often we get sucked into life, into work, into our day-to-day to-do lists. There is always so much to do, each hour, each day. Yet, I feel I have to constantly remind myself to slow down, to breathe, to take a moment to smell the fresh, beautiful, summer air. What came to me yesterday is that we all need to be more childlike. A child goes into each day, each playful moment as if it was brand new. What if we did the same thing?

I think we would find that we get less sucked into the things that waste our time. The drama and moments of negativity. We would be more aware of those conversations that do not serve us, we would walk away, or call folks out on their negativity. Kids do it all the time. They walk away. They are drawn to happiness, to individuals that make them feel comfortable. What if you removed yourself from moments that did not inspire you? Moments that brought you down? Would that change your day?

I think it is worth trying.

Does instant information mean too much access?

Posted by random olio

Last week Siouxsioux shared a comment on my recent blog: Photo Cops Suck:

“I agree — a “real” traffic cop stop is more humane and allows for exceptions. However, your wake-up call ties in with what I’m feeling in this spy-info-obsessed environment. We like 24-hour automated tellers, expect instant assistance from Google and appreciate GPS-assistance complete with photos of where we’re going or where we’ve been … but no one likes being spied upon. If we keep willingly giving away info and expecting instant, automated assistance, at what point does it lead to too much outside control … with no turning back?”

Siouxsioux’s comment really made me think of how often I am impatient and frustrated when the gadgets in my life are not moving as fast as my brain might be working. It reminds me of Louis CK on Conan O’Brien a few years ago. The part relating to our world of automation starts around 2:45 in the video clip. Another great section is at 3:25 regarding our impatience with the Internet not working while flying on an airplane. He later says how a plane flight now consists of, “you watch a movie, take a dump, and you are home.”

There is a balance of instant access to information on our iPhones, iPads, and laptops, and what security and privacy we may not even know we are forfeiting while searching and utilizing that information. As Siouxsioux mentioned, I wonder at what cost. I know I am slightly addicted to the Internet. Well, more that slightly addicted to instant information at my fingertips. I am assuming that Words with Friends knows how often we play, or how addicted we are, Facebook can tell almost anything about our lives, our local library knows what we read, the grocery store you frequent knows what you eat and buy, and Amazon can tell a lot about your spending habits. If someone put that all together, I am sure there would be plenty of information for your shrink.

So where is the line, and have we already crossed it?

Four-year-old inspires

Posted by random olio

For a few years now, I have been watching “So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD).” I am not a fan of musicals, sitcoms that have singing, and most dancing shows (you can never get me to watch Dancing with the Stars), but I am a die-hard fan of “SYTYCD.” Why? There are a variety of genres of dance throughout the show. You might see hip hop, modern, tap, salsa, crump, you name it. The contestants are crazy talented, because they have to be able to pick up and learn any style of dance at anytime, and still do it amazingly each week. Not an easy feat. Many professional dancers may only do ballet their entire life, so watching these individuals each week is inspiring.

I am a bit behind on episodes, due to catching up on seasons of “The Good Wife” and “The New Girl,” but this video I want to share is timeless. A four-year-old boy is allowed to come to the auditions, and not only is his dancing and musicality off the charts for his age, so is his answers to Nigel’s questions. I could not resist sharing and hopefully it reminds you that anything is possible.

Did his parents send him to cello classes? No. He gravitated towards a previous contestant, and taught himself at four years old. Inspired?

How much would you pay for a parking space?

Posted by random olio

Chris and I used to live in Boston, where parking spaces would sell for tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars. Renting an apartment was expensive enough, not to mention finding a parking space when you did not own one. Now that I live in the Pacific Northwest, even the process of renting an apartment is different. Ten years ago when we lived in Boston, you would have to give a landlord the first month of rent, last month, sometimes a security deposit, and a realtor fee. If the apartment was $1000 a month (which was definitely on the low side) that would mean $4000. A lot of money just to move into a place. Yes, $3000 was investing in your future, but the $1000 to the realtor was lost.

All cities are different. No rental process is alike in each city. Portland has nothing on Boston. Which I appreciate. When we moved to Portland, we thought, oh we just need to have the cash to move in, instead Portland is very particular in a different way. Landlords in Portland want to ensure that you have a job and you can prove your monthly income. It makes sense due to the high homeless population. Landlords want to know you will continue to be able to pay your rent. I understand that completely, but it is just so different from Boston.

Portlanders complain about finding parking spaces, just like any other city, but I know Portland does not have quite the market on parking spaces that Boston or New York have. I recently read an article that discusses the IRS auctioning off two parking spaces in Boston for a man who owed back taxes. The parking spaces sold for $560,000. It is shocking to think how much someone paid for a parking space, especially since it is much, much more than many pay for their homes.

How much would you pay to own a parking space?