If you never try, you never know

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If I had a song from 2012 that moved me, I think it would be: Coldplay’s, “Fix You.” I cannot get it out of my mind. It is amazing to me how emotional music can be and how easily it can tug at my heart-strings. Here are a few of the lyrics:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?”

It is not the happiest of songs, but it is a song you can feel in your bones. I was running the other day (outside with music instead of on the treadmill), going down a hill, with my arms stretched out wide. It was a good feeling. That feeling of being free, relaxed, with no complicated thoughts bogging me down. Later in the song is my favorite line: “But if you never try you’ll never know.” That is the line that hits me each time. I think of different decisions Chris and I have made in the past year, and throughout our marriage. I think of professional experiences, friendships, and conversations with family members. It is a mantra about fear, taking risks, and chances.

If we never try we never know.

Strength, Courage, and Resilience

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A few days ago I finished reading a book that just came out: “Bend, Not Break” by Ping Fu. It is about a woman who grew up during the Cultural Revolution in China, raised herself from the age of eight (as well as her four-year old sister), was later forced to leave China, went on to start a 3D rendering company, Geomagic, and has invented amazing technology that continues to evolve at a rapid pace.

I was fascinated by her story, the perseverance she showed in life, to come from terrible circumstances and educate herself, and go on to create software products that impact the lives of so many. We do not even realize the impact Fu’s products have had on us. She created the software technology that makes Invisalign, can scan a plane to determine what issues it might have, can create replica’s of the Statue of Liberty in case it needs to be rebuilt. The list goes on, and I encourage you to read her book to learn more about Geomagic. I was fascinated.

Her life story has inspired me to realize that we can always do more. With each hurdle in her personal or professional life, she creatively found a way to get through it all. It might not have been the right way from the perspective of those around her, but they were her decisions and choices. I love an idea that Fu shared called “Three Friends of Winter.” It is often found in art in China. She speaks of this idea a few times throughout her book. It was told to her by her Shanghai Papa (more details about him when you read her memoir). This is a stream of a conversation with Fu and Shanghai Papa (I have put all the ideas together to make the conversation shorter):

“There are three friends of winter: the pine tree, the plum blossom, and bamboo. Pine trees are strong. They remain happy and green throughout the year. In the unbearable heat of summer and the severe cold of winter, they stand unperturbed. The crimson petals of the plum blossom gleam brilliantly against the white snow. The ability to bloom in the midst of misfortune suggests dignity and forbearance under harsh circumstances. Bamboo is flexible, bending with the wind but never breaking, capable of adapting to any circumstance. It suggests resilience, meaning that we have the ability to bounce back from even the most difficult times.” page 10

So the pine tree, plum blossom, and bamboo are reminders to us about staying strong, courageous, and resilient. Thank you Fu for sharing your strength and life story.

The Jeep that made me weep

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Where was the WOW factor? Maybe I am getting old, but the ads during the Super Bowl just do not have the creativity that I remember watching when I was younger. Most of the ads were boring, not funny, and had no element of surprise. Mostly they were for cars, movies, and CBS.

Yet, there was one ad that made me stop and watch. You first hear Oprah doing a voice over. We all know her voice. We hear it and instantly listen. The voice of a storyteller. You know at the beginning that the ad is in gratitude for those in the military serving our country. I was enraptured as I envisioned those in my life that have served our country and those that I do not know that are in some far off place risking their life to make sure mine is safe. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the only ad that made me stop and watch completely.

And then I saw the Jeep. I was bummed.

I wish we could have a tribute air during the Super Bowl and not be selling anything. Where we can commend and appreciate the service men and women and not find at the end that it was paid for by a car company. It makes me feel different about my tears, when it is more about Jeep wanting me to buy their car. It would be great if we could just appreciate, and not have to question who paid for that appreciation? In any case, if you missed the Jeep ad, be sure to take a look below, and take a moment to appreciate those serving our country.

The Perfect Airport Experience?

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I know this article is from almost a year ago, but the ideas are still valid. It is a Harvard Business Review article called: “Is Kindness a Strategy?” It is about how an American Airlines employee treated a customer (Frank) with kindness (read the article for his full story). The employee decided to help Frank, who was late for his flight. She made an extra effort to get him through security and onto his flight at the last-minute.

Ah, do you dream of that happening to you? Have you not wanted to go to the airport, have someone take your car and park it for you? You then go to security and get moved to the front of the line, walk to the gate and walk right on the plane, immediately they shut the doors and the plane takes off. There are no delays on the runway, and you are in the air and land on time. The plane goes immediately to your gate, you are at the front of the plane so you get off first, and someone has a car waiting for you when you get outside the airport. Is it a dream? Is it your reality? There are some that might valet their car, go through the First Class line in security, and go right on to the plane, but it is not the reality for most of us that fly the friendly skies.

I wish this could be the experience of all of us when we travel. Even though it is not, it does make me think about what is possible. Travel companies could definitely be more creative to find ways to WOW their customers. Which makes me think back to the title of the article: “Is Kindness a Strategy?” Maybe it should be. I agree with the author, American will now be Frank’s favorite airline. It would be mine, if I had Frank’s experience. What can travel companies do to make us more loyal? Surprise us. Give the upgrade when there are seats in First Class. Give a free rental car because they can tell we have had a rough day. Empower their employees to have more flexibility to make these types of decisions.

It may make a world of difference to their customers.

 

Decisions, decisions…

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I was driving to work the other day, when it hit me (no not a car), but a thought. We have to make decisions moment by moment throughout the day. We have to decide: do we go through the yellow light, or stop? Do we honk at the car in front of us? Do we get exasperated? Do we respond nastily to a bad situation? Do we say what another wants us to hear?

We are constantly encountering decisions that have to be made. Do we do a good job at handling them? Probably not always. Do we have a good track record? That depends on the person. Do we get burnt out on making decisions? Of course. I have days when I will tell Chris: I cannot make another decision today. I am burnt out. I do not want to weigh in on dinner or decide on what movie we might watch. I just want to have someone decide for me. It does not happen very often, but sometimes I have eaten too much of the decision meal. No room for dessert. No passing Go. I am done.

How can we feel refreshed and clear-headed in order to go back into the game of decisions? It might depend on what we do for a living. Do we have to make decisions at work, or do we mostly execute on other’s decisions? When we come home has a spouse figured out the game plan for the rest of the day or week, or is it up to us? Having to make a long list of decisions can wear anyone thin.

To recharge might mean trying to take away the long list of decisions whenever possible. Can you make decisions over the weekend that will help you not have to make them in the evenings after a long day of work? Can you plan ahead? At times when I feel overwhelmed, I try to break down the decision I have to make into smaller questions. If I can answer each of those, at times it helps with the larger decision. I am also a big proponent of justification. What I mean by that, is often I will think, if I decide this now, it will mean I will be able to do this later. If my choice means maybe sacrificing something later to get something now, then I am justifying why I made my decision. It often works for me.

What do you do to help cut down, ease, or lessen the decisions you have to make?