I was always a hugger. I can remember at church on Sunday’s when I would see all the older women. I knew they had life savers in their purses, and I would charm them, give them a hug, and hope they would share their Lifesavers with me. See I never had much candy growing up, so Lifesavers were a bright light (especially after a church service).
In any case, I was never forced to give a hug to the older ladies at church. It was my choice. I have no idea what it would have been like for me if I was forced to hug them. This Daily Om titled: “Repressing the Inner Voice” talks about giving away our power. When we are forced to hug family members against our will. It will make me that much more aware when I have kids of my own, and make sure I do not put them in situations where they might not want to share a hug with another individual.
I know as I have gotten older, I am definitely aware of when I want to share myself with another. I am probably entirely more open with love and hugs than I was when I was younger, but it is still my choice. Kids are often in positions where they do not have a choice, and parents need to make sure they are listening when their kids voice their opinion that they are not comfortable. This is such a great end to this Daily Om:
“All we have to do is have the confidence to listen to our own voice and let it guide us as we make our own decisions in life and remember the necessity for balance.”
Balance? Yes. That seems to be an ever occurring reminder in my life. Balance. Balance. Balance. Be sure that you are not giving away your power and that you are not putting others in a position of giving away their power.
I have written from time to time about farts. It might gross some of you out, but those of you that are transparent and not afraid to say what is really on your mind know that we all fart, and sometimes it happens in public places. On an airplane, in a dressing room, or at the grocery store. These days with gluten and dairy intolerances, it seems to be a more common occurrence, or maybe a more common conversation. Do not worry this blog is not completely about farts, I have another mission for your day.
It is about hugging. Ah you read the title. A colleague recently shared (jokingly of course) that he was not a fan of hugging. His wife confirmed it. He said: “Hugging makes me fart.” I laughed, and then I laughed again. Literally I can see what it means. Sometimes Chris has squeezed me so hard that well a bit of air might have escaped, but again, not the focus of this blog post. I loved what he said, and I love how funny it was to me. It was real and raw, and even if he was kidding, it brought a smile to my face and made my day!
Growing up, my house had few hugs. I do not remember hugging my siblings much, or my parents, or grandparents. It was not really encouraged and not something I witnessed too often. So I am not sure at what point in my life that hugs became prevalent. I am a hugger. I have no problem meeting a new person and by the time I have had a conversation, interacted, feel comfortable and connected giving them a hug at the end of our visit. It often feels odd to get to know someone (a man or a woman) and not give them a hug at the end of the visit. Although there is one thing I have noticed. Men often feel awkward hugging a woman too close. A hug is a hug is a hug. Just bring it in and hug it out. Who cares about what body parts come into contact with each other? To me a hug is a way to connect, a way to say I value you.
Even in an extremely love filled relationship, a hug can sometimes feel more meaningful than a kiss. You can squeeze the crap out of someone and show how much they mean to you that is sometimes hard to show in a kiss (especially in public). In the morning I often find Chris wherever he is in the house and demand my morning hug. I feel somewhat off starting my day or being at work and realizing I did not get my morning hug. (Makes me grumpy). A hug says things that do not need to be said, soothes a bad day, tears, and even a grumpy person.
Just remember though that the next time you hug someone, they might just fart!
I used to be an intense hugger. Well, I still am, but I used to be with lots of people, now I am a lot more selective. Maybe time and the world has made me less of a hugger, but I remember as a very small child that I would hug with a fierceness and not let go. I am not sure what that was all about, but I can visually remember being a hardcore hugger. What happened? Did I learn that I had to be careful who I hugged? Did I not get hugs in return? I am not completely sure, but I know something shifted in my life and I became more aware and cautious about my hugging. Part of it saddens me. Why?
A hug is a wonderful thing. It can completely change a moment. You can be angry with your spouse, disagree, and they can encompass you with their entire body into a hug and it can make all the anger and frustration melt and ooze out of your body. A hug can essentially heal a moment.
A hug can comfort you. Have you ever had a time when you had no idea that something was bugging you and a friend or family member could tell that you need a hug? The moment you are embraced, you melt. You start with shedding a tear, and the comfort and safe arms around you turns you into a blubbering mess. It has happened to me with close friends, family members, and co-workers. A hug can release the most pent-up issues in life.
A hug can make you feel loved. In my marriage I am a hugger (well, we both are). Yes, I can share with you that of course I love the passion of a kiss, but a hug comforts, supports, and shares something deep. It reminds you that you matter. A hug can ground you and reinforce just how much you are loved.
Hug it out, release, and remember that you are loved. Right now. Today.