Vulnerability leads to intersection

Posted by random olio

A few months ago, I finished reading the book: “The Longest Way Home” by Andrew McCarthy. For those of you that do not know who McCarthy is, he first became known as an actor in “St. Elmo’s Fire” and “Pretty in Pink.” I also recently remember watching him in “Lipstick Jungle” until it was cancelled. He is now a travel writer, and his book shares many travel experiences in addition to the lead up to his second marriage. He calls his new wife: “D.” The following quote resonated with me because it is often how I operate:

“D’s willingness to emotionally invest in others and make herself vulnerable allows her to inhabit her humanity to a degree that still baffles me. Why would anyone who is so strong-willed, so self-sufficient, want to make herself vulnerable to someone else? D would say that what is most important in life is family, connection, and community. Loving someone, she will say, is the only thing that matters and is worth the price of relinquishing control.” page 63

I agree. Almost. While I might make myself vulnerable in many situations, I have a hard time relinquishing control. Emotionally investing in others and being vulnerable is how I believe you get close to others. Often I think I open up about myself, however, only in the way of sharing experiences. What is harder for me is being vulnerable in a way where I actually ask for help. Rarely do I put myself out there in that way.

My vulnerability happens by sharing what I have learned, am learning, and how the road of life intersects with someone else’s experience. True connection I believe is found by intersections. Being transparent and open about your life and your beliefs can start the march towards intimacy. As long as the other individual is willing and open to be present with that emotional vulnerability. If they are not, it can be a waste of time. Or is it?

All of this comes to me after reading his book. Vulnerability allows us to intersect our humanity. I have a hunch that we all could tap into our vulnerability, slide off that iPhone, walk away from our computer, go down the hall and connect with someone new. What would that feel like? To try to be vulnerable and intersect the life of one person each day. Share from your life experience, be vulnerable, and intersect lives. All for the vein of love, humanity, and connection.

Are you with me?

Who Sees Your Potential?

Posted by random olio

Do you see your full potential? Or, do you have someone in your life that sees what you are capable of? There are always times in our life when we feel stuck and we need someone else to help us to look at our life and world with a new lens. I recently found this quote by Susane Colasanti on the Aubrey Road blog:

“One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way.”

-Susane Colasanti

There are moments in all of our lives when we have a harder time seeing the full potential in ourselves. We may feel bogged down by work, stressed out by family obligations, or just unclear on what our purpose is in life. We need that person that sees us for all our sassiness and knows what we are capable of when we cannot see it for ourselves. The person that pushes us to turn over the lump of coal and see the diamond in the rough. Sometimes it is one person, and other times it could be multiple people in our life that see our potential and push us to look at life in new ways.

When we are too weak, cloudy, or broken down they help us to fight for ourselves. When we are not taking care of ourselves, or do not treat others well, this someone can act like a mirror for us to truly see how we are acting. It might mean they tell us that we need to work less and play more. Or maybe, we need to stop being scared and go back to school and take our career to new and different levels. Or it might be that we need to challenge and stand up to a family member, and past attempts have not been successful.

They cheer us on, anchor us, and coach. They praise and give us words of affirmation when we need them, hold us together when we need it most, and yell and challenge us when we need to hear something strong and loud. The result? We believe, get inspired, and move towards our potential. We thrive.

Who in your life sees your potential?

If you never try, you never know

Posted by random olio

If I had a song from 2012 that moved me, I think it would be: Coldplay’s, “Fix You.” I cannot get it out of my mind. It is amazing to me how emotional music can be and how easily it can tug at my heart-strings. Here are a few of the lyrics:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?”

It is not the happiest of songs, but it is a song you can feel in your bones. I was running the other day (outside with music instead of on the treadmill), going down a hill, with my arms stretched out wide. It was a good feeling. That feeling of being free, relaxed, with no complicated thoughts bogging me down. Later in the song is my favorite line: “But if you never try you’ll never know.” That is the line that hits me each time. I think of different decisions Chris and I have made in the past year, and throughout our marriage. I think of professional experiences, friendships, and conversations with family members. It is a mantra about fear, taking risks, and chances.

If we never try we never know.

Strength, Courage, and Resilience

Posted by random olio

A few days ago I finished reading a book that just came out: “Bend, Not Break” by Ping Fu. It is about a woman who grew up during the Cultural Revolution in China, raised herself from the age of eight (as well as her four-year old sister), was later forced to leave China, went on to start a 3D rendering company, Geomagic, and has invented amazing technology that continues to evolve at a rapid pace.

I was fascinated by her story, the perseverance she showed in life, to come from terrible circumstances and educate herself, and go on to create software products that impact the lives of so many. We do not even realize the impact Fu’s products have had on us. She created the software technology that makes Invisalign, can scan a plane to determine what issues it might have, can create replica’s of the Statue of Liberty in case it needs to be rebuilt. The list goes on, and I encourage you to read her book to learn more about Geomagic. I was fascinated.

Her life story has inspired me to realize that we can always do more. With each hurdle in her personal or professional life, she creatively found a way to get through it all. It might not have been the right way from the perspective of those around her, but they were her decisions and choices. I love an idea that Fu shared called “Three Friends of Winter.” It is often found in art in China. She speaks of this idea a few times throughout her book. It was told to her by her Shanghai Papa (more details about him when you read her memoir). This is a stream of a conversation with Fu and Shanghai Papa (I have put all the ideas together to make the conversation shorter):

“There are three friends of winter: the pine tree, the plum blossom, and bamboo. Pine trees are strong. They remain happy and green throughout the year. In the unbearable heat of summer and the severe cold of winter, they stand unperturbed. The crimson petals of the plum blossom gleam brilliantly against the white snow. The ability to bloom in the midst of misfortune suggests dignity and forbearance under harsh circumstances. Bamboo is flexible, bending with the wind but never breaking, capable of adapting to any circumstance. It suggests resilience, meaning that we have the ability to bounce back from even the most difficult times.” page 10

So the pine tree, plum blossom, and bamboo are reminders to us about staying strong, courageous, and resilient. Thank you Fu for sharing your strength and life story.

The Jeep that made me weep

Posted by random olio

Where was the WOW factor? Maybe I am getting old, but the ads during the Super Bowl just do not have the creativity that I remember watching when I was younger. Most of the ads were boring, not funny, and had no element of surprise. Mostly they were for cars, movies, and CBS.

Yet, there was one ad that made me stop and watch. You first hear Oprah doing a voice over. We all know her voice. We hear it and instantly listen. The voice of a storyteller. You know at the beginning that the ad is in gratitude for those in the military serving our country. I was enraptured as I envisioned those in my life that have served our country and those that I do not know that are in some far off place risking their life to make sure mine is safe. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the only ad that made me stop and watch completely.

And then I saw the Jeep. I was bummed.

I wish we could have a tribute air during the Super Bowl and not be selling anything. Where we can commend and appreciate the service men and women and not find at the end that it was paid for by a car company. It makes me feel different about my tears, when it is more about Jeep wanting me to buy their car. It would be great if we could just appreciate, and not have to question who paid for that appreciation? In any case, if you missed the Jeep ad, be sure to take a look below, and take a moment to appreciate those serving our country.