A little burgundy, a lot of voting…

Unlike Ron Burgundy aka Will Ferrell (see below video), I will not do anything for you so you will go and vote. Why? Because you should go vote because it is a freedom and privilege. (Sorry in advance for those of you that are not in the United States. This is an important and timely topic in the US.)

As many of you may know, I do not like writing about politics. I dislike the separation it causes among friends and family. So I usually keep my mouth shut. However, there is one thing I cannot stay quiet about: voting. You MUST vote on Tuesday. No matter what your political party, or who you are going to vote for (although I do have an opinion on who you should vote for – I will keep that to myself). Today I just want to emphatically ask you to go and vote. Speak up, and cast your vote. And now a message from Will Ferrell himself:

A little comedy goes a long way. What I love about his video is that his message is mostly (until the last few seconds) just about going and voting. There are still countries where both men and women are not allowed to vote. Think of voting as speaking your mind and sharing your voice. We have the freedom to vote that others in the world do not have. So, we should all take advantage of our right to vote. We should not take it for granted. We should use this right to make a difference.

If you do not vote, you cannot be upset anytime in the next four years if you do not like the outcome. You cannot have an opinion about the direction of education, taxes, our economy, etc. if you do not go and VOTE.

Please, please, please go and cast your ballot on Tuesday!

On Vulnerability and “Daring Greatly”

I have found my favorite book of 2012. It is called: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brene Brown. I cannot stop thinking about the ideas in this book. It is a must read book. It was just published in September, so it is hot off the shelf.

Brown talks a lot in her book about feeling loved, vulnerability, connection, combating shame, and perfectionism. Each are important ideas with a lot of depth for discussion. I first got pulled into her book with her analysis about vulnerability. Here is one quote on the topic:

“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing gives purpose and meaning to living.” Page 33

Vulnerability seems to be a term we do not hear as much about, so I was happily surprised when I heard about Brown’s book. Based on her above idea, why would we not want to be fully vulnerable? I guess first you have to want to feel. If you do not want to feel, then keep your vulnerability at bay. Most of the time I think we just do not want to get hurt, so we keep our thoughts and feelings inside. Other times I think we might be slightly ashamed or insecure about what others might think about our ideas.

What if we had no sensors at all, and always said exactly what is on our mind? That is how I am with many situations. I wear my heart on my sleeve and 95% of the time say exactly what is on my mind without censoring myself. Does that get me in trouble? Yes. Do I like being completely transparent? Yes. Does it feel liberating? Yes. What would the world look like if we all actually said what is on our minds at all times?

I will most likely have to publish another post on this book, as there are just too many nuggets I want to share.

What do you think about vulnerability? What is your favorite book of 2012?

Who will you pretend to be today?

Ah, the fun of Halloween. You get to dress up and be someone else for the day. The leaves are falling off the trees, the ground is covered in the colorful array of leaves. Homes are decorated with lights, jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, and goblins. It is really the beginning of the holiday season of festivities. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. (Yes, I left out Black Friday, that is not a holiday, but like Halloween it can be just as scary).

It is good to have a day where we can pretend to be someone else. Often we work so hard just trying to be ourselves, that even adults can even get excited to get to play dress up once in a while. We even like to be creative and carve our own jack-o-lanterns. I love this photo of me watching our finished pumpkins turned jack-o-lanterns.

my excitement over jack-o-lanterns

(Be sure to note the pea colored refrigerator and I can assure you that while you cannot see it, there is wood paneling behind me. You can also see the head of the baby doll I am holding). Cutting pumpkins to me was like dying easter eggs, a process, but one of tradition around a certain day of the year. I was always in awe.

We would decide which pumpkin to carve, then draw on the design we were going to cut out, then the messy part of clearing out the guts and goop inside. Once it was cleaned out then it was time to carve. I have never been quite proficient with a sharp knife (Chris can attest to that). So I am not sure my creations were always superb, as artistic as I may have been, my lack of knife skills = poor pumpkin carving. Then adding the candle and putting the lid on top.

I cannot remember that much about the costumes I selected, although I do know one year I was a clown. We always had homemade costumes. What I remember most, and who knows why, was this one house in my neighborhood. I can remember the name of the family, and that they had a courtyard at the front of their house. They outfitted it with spooky music, Halloween lights and decorations, and would have people hiding in the bushes. You never knew what would happen from year to year, and it was always dark out. My memory of it was that it was the scariest house on Halloween. The fact that I can still picture it tells me that they designed it well. I was always impressed with myself if I could make it through the squeaky gate, down the courtyard path to the front door. Then if I made it that far and actually attained the candy then I knew I was brave that year. Candy at scary neighborhood house = I could conquer any fear.

I am hoping to make it home in time for the trick-or-treaters this year. It will be the first time as an adult that I am in a neighborhood that has kids to come door-to-door. Can you tell I am giddy about it?

Trick or treat!

Balance, hard work, and play…

Does your life ever feel balanced? Often one thing or another is out of whack. Either we are working too much, or someone is consuming our time, or we are socializing too much and we feel the effects of the imbalance in our life. Yesterday’s Daily Om on balance hit home for me because it has always been something I have struggled with – finding a balance in my life. I love this quote from this Daily Om:

“Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you.”

Why does finding a balance seem to be so hard for so many? Is it because we have high aspirations and want to accomplish so much in our lives? Do we say yes to all things we are interested in, and there truly is not enough time in the day? There are days when I work long hours, write my blog, spend time with Chris, go for my run (and read at the same time) and crawl into bed and in a few short minutes I am asleep. I love all the different activities that fill my life, but there are times when too much feels like too much.

My issue might be that I immerse myself in the world I am in. I work hard. I have high expectations for myself. I do not like to give up. Ever. If only I could have high expectations for play. For learning how to relax. Chris does a great job at pushing me to relax each day, but it is something that I need to learn to also balance on my own. I often ask myself: Why is it so hard to relax? How can I better learn how to balance my life between work and play?

What do you do to find a balance in your life?

Tears of gratitude…

Chris and I moved over the weekend. I had not mentioned it before because it is not official until it is OFFICIAL! Saturday morning Chris was meeting the movers, and I was getting the keys to our new place. On my drive over it was pouring down rain. Ah, Portland fall weather. Everyone is driving under the speed limit. Ah, Portland fall weather…

In any case, I am driving to our new place, and Bob Marley comes on the radio, and I start to cry. Now, here is the thing. I do not cry that often. When I do it usually hits me hard. At first I cannot figure out why I am crying. I think oh it is this mellow song. Then I think oh you are just utterly exhausted. Then it hits me.

They are tears of gratitude. Oh gosh, they are coming down now as I write this blog post. Gratitude of the adventure that Chris and I just started. Each step we take in life together is always better than the last experience. We have been living in a townhouse, so buying a house has been something we have wanted to do for a few years. The real estate market had not been in our favor, but that has gradually changed. Without boring you with all the details, we just purchased a beautiful house.

What brought tears to my eyes was the excitement for what is next, gratitude for how smooth the transaction went, and awe of what “home” will be for many years to come. Lastly, I think the tears were just a glimpse of what my life was as a child to now. It is not that I never had an imagination for what was possible as a kid, but my life has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined growing up poor in the Midwest. I am so grateful for what life has given me. My husband, my family, my job, my home. Tears of gratitude. I wiped them away, and drove into my new driveway to meet my realtor.

By the way, if you live in Portland and need an amazing realtor, send me a note.