Letting go of the intensity

Life is an ebb and flow. Some years are full, intense, and feel like you are drowning in life and all that is required of you. 2013 for example was a year of crazy intensity for me, but not in the way you might think. The intensity was of what I had set out to do for the year, and not so much about working long hours, or balancing tons of competing priorities. I had set out to beat my goals from 2012, and with that continued my addiction to reading and running. I still have my addiction in 2014, but in potentially a more balanced way.

Last year I read over 100+ books and was running an average of 5+ days a week. I loved every minute of it. I loved wasting an hour of my time in a book, while running on the treadmill. It was “me” time. Moments where I could decompress from my day and jump head first into a novel, forgetting all else that happened that day, to pull myself out an hour later, refreshed, recharged, and ready for whatever came next in my evening. Somehow as 2014 has continued to evolve, my craziness over running and reading has not waned, but other things in life have taken precedence over my intensity to finish the amazing book I am reading, or to stretch my legs on the treadmill. I have played more, visited with friends, and worked on other creative endeavors. Maybe 2014 is my year to chill.

Has my life changed drastically to make this happen? Not really. What has changed? Mostly I have let go. I have relaxed and listened to what my body wanted at the end of the day. Sometimes my brain and body are so wiped out that I decide to take a hot bath and relax my body and mind for an hour instead of going for an intense run. I have relaxed more into myself and feel less guilty about not going for a run that day if my body is saying: “NO.” While I sometimes miss my daily hour of reading/running, I have begun to make other choices in place of my run/book. Every once in a while guilt will creep in and tell me: “You are lazy. It will hurt when you run tomorrow, or the next day.” Or I think wow, I have only read xx books and run xx times this year. But, who cares, right?

Do you have things in your life that you do not want to budge on, yet if you did your life might feel more balanced?

Git-‘er-done + running + play

Gosh when I find a damn good book, I just want to tell everyone about it. I know some of you might not care about running, but open your ears… this book is worth reading. I had a week-long slump from my normal runs. Life got crazy, I felt slow, and it has made me a little cranky that my runs have been the thing to drop out of my life. For those of you that have been reading this blog for a while, you know that my run is my sanity. My closer friends and co-workers that know me, know that something is extremely off if I have not run in a week.

I will not go into the “why” of my crazy world, and the run, because at the moment that is not the point at all of this blog post. Today I tell you, read: “Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run” by Kristin Armstrong. She is a contributing editor for Runner’s World, and the woman RUNS. Do not worry if you are not a runner, her story will inspire you. Mile Markers is a compilation of her many blog posts for Runner’s World. They flow and connect and you feel like you are waking up with her, lacing on your shoes and going for a very long run (as her variety tends to be of the longer distance). You learn how she processes her life, how she stays up-to-date with her running partners, how she struggles and triumphs, and how running helps her to elevate others. This specific quote made me feel like she was talking to me:

“I can be pretty serious about taking myself seriously. I accept responsibility with somber reverence, stuffing the weight of the world into my pack and shrugging my shoulders into the straps. What can I say? When I care about something, I don’t want to blow it. Whether it’s raising my kids, meeting a work deadline, paying a bill on time, training for a race, or being there for a family member or friend, I am a girl who gets up in the morning with the intention of being better than I was the day before. But it’s not easy to keep all the balls in the air, to juggle this master schedule called Aspects of My Life. I drop balls. They go thudding and bouncing and rolling away, and I skid and scramble to collect them and start over again, breathless. There are three things in my life that have saved me from myself, from turning into the most regimented, boring git-‘er-done kind of gal. They are my children, my friends, and running. Why? Because they remind me to play.” page 41

I am that woman who has that same intention of being better than I was the day before. I can usually hold the straps of that backpack and make things happen. Where do I fail and what saves me in the end? Chris. Friends/Family. Running. Playing. Dabbling in art. Laughter. They have all saved me from myself. Absolutely.

I am not even a third of the way through this book, and I had to write a post about it. I cannot put it down. Two nights ago, as I was reading while running (yes, crazy treadmill-running, book-reading me), I got so inspired. I wanted to text a co-worker and get her on board to start running with me once a week. I wanted to wrangle all my past running folks and get out there with them! Maybe it was the spark of sunshine and 65 degree weather yesterday, or maybe it is Daylight Savings Time, or maybe Armstrong can inspire you to get a move on it. More to come on this book!

A PACT and a little $$$

I just happened upon this app called PACT. It is an app that helps to set goals for working out and eating healthy. The premise is that once you set daily goals, you either receive cash rewards, or if you do not meet your goals then money is deducted from your credit card or PayPal account and given to those that do meet their goals. GULP.

Mind you, I am a bit hard-core on myself with running, being active, and eating healthy. I currently have a Nike FuelBand and find that it often encourages me to keep up with my daily fuel goal, which is accrued with the miles I run. There are times when I come home from work exhausted and could care less if I make my goal, and all I want is comfort food. Yet, that is the exception. For the most part, I come home and unwind from my day with a good, hard run and healthy meal. The question is how many days of the week end up that way, and how many days do I successfully hit my goal? It is so different from week to week.

The other aspect of the app pertains to food. You can track your food goals and then take pictures of what you eat. There is a bit of honesty and trust that go with this app. Maybe that is why rewards start at 30 cents, because most individuals are probably not going to “cheat” to receive 30 cents. The fact that they met their goal is motivation with the added accumulation of some change to show as proof of their consistent effort. Almost like an ongoing game of penny poker.

Since life can throw us curveballs at any moment, how are our goals to be and stay healthy impacted when money is involved? Would I handle my goals differently if there was money connected to it? I guess it would depend on how much money you make or lose. Reports about the app say you can earn 30 cents to $5 a week for meeting your goal, and $5-$10 each day for when you miss your goal. Again, yikes! How many of you would start to see $35-$70 leaving your checking account each week? The money that you pay for not meeting your goals goes into the pool to help pay for those that are meeting their goals.

Would PACT motivate you to exercise and eat healthy? Or would you start to feel down that you are not hitting your goals and watching cold hard cash fly out the door? Is it motivating and would it keep you on track?

What do you think?

Never stop running…

Yesterday I was running on the treadmill after work. It was a tough run. I was exhausted after my weekend, and I just wanted to crawl into bed. Yet, because I felt like I should keep at it and stay focused on what is important to me, I changed into my running clothes and got onto the treadmill. Why you might ask? Why do I push myself so hard, when maybe I should have changed into pajamas and snuggled onto the couch?

My answer would be dedication. If I gave in, than tomorrow it would be that much easier to give in, and the next day and the day after that. Yes, I definitely take days off from running, but they are few. Usually my off days are when my brain can barely utter a word, or I feel like complete ass, and can barely stay awake, otherwise my butt is dressed and ready to run, and usually…usually I am better for it. The run gets me out of myself, out of my day, what I still have left to do, and allows me to breathe in and out, and let it all go.

Running is my therapy. Some of you might already know, but I usually run on the treadmill and read books while I run. I read and enter the world of another individual’s life through a memoir, or the world of make-believe through a novel. It means 50 minutes to an hour a day that is not about what happened that day, or what is left on my to-do list, it is just about my feet going, the sweat dripping, and the characters that are spelled out before my eyes.

Yesterday though was tough. I was struggling to continue, I wanted to run upstairs and jump into a steaming hot bath, relax, and close my eyes. The thoughts that kept coming to me were: “This is hard.” “You have had a long day and weekend, just quit.” And then I realized, these are just thoughts. You are not a quitter. You are dedicated. You get on that treadmill each day because it inspires you, it feels good, and your thought is clear afterwards. Often you find that solutions to problems come to you when you run and you were not even focusing on them.

I hope I can continue my dedication to running as I grow older, when pregnant, with a newborn, and with aching knees, because it grounds me. It makes the world right. It invigorates, inspires, and fuels me. What fuels you?