When you feel heard, you trust…

Posted by random olio

I have been thinking a lot in the last week about awareness. Being aware. Watching. Being present. After a few day training session at work, I realized how much more I could be aware of my surroundings, my actions, and how I approach situations. Last Friday I specifically practiced awareness, and while yes I was only in day one, I had a very good day. It could have also been because the sun was out, which means that those I was around were in a great mood. Sunshine in Portland in February does that to folks.

Regardless, I focused on listening in each conversation. I stopped, slowed down, and was aware and I enjoyed the day so much more. Sometimes that means I am more focused in my listening, other times it means I quiet my mind and do not say all the things that are happening within it. I am an extremely direct and transparent person, but I am learning that does not mean that I have to say everything that comes to mind. Part of being aware is listening to see if the person you are interacting with needs to talk and share from their own minds.

As I learned last week, awareness takes practice. Just as an Olympic athlete must train every day, so must each of us as we continue to be better and better, or as we continue to learn how to be our best. All we can do is try again each day. Try to be more aware, more present, and listen more. I love a line from this Fast Company article titled: “How One Simple Change Can Make You A Better Listener.”

“When people feel as though they have been heard, they trust you more.”

As well as:

“Ultimately, the ability to extract what people mean from a conversation is one of the most important tools of any leader. It takes a lot of work. And it requires curbing your natural tendency to jump right to a solution to people’s problems.”

I have a lot of work to do. I need to resist my constant urge to find a solution to problems, and start by listening first. Here is hoping I can keep up with my awareness this week. Listen more. Be more aware. Are you with me?

Random recipe: Coconut Chicken Curry (Slow Cooker)

Posted by random olio

Some recipes work, others do not. Some become our favorites, and we make them over and over again. This recipe was in between. It was not my favorite, but since we all have different tastes I wanted to share. It was good, but a bit too strong in flavor for me. One day last week Chris was working from home and when I got home from work and opened the front door, there was the strongest of smells and flavors that shot right back to me. Mmm. It was soo good. The problem? The house smelled like that for days. This recipe was strong and pungent. What would I do differently if we made it again? I wanted more vegetables. The interesting part is that the recipe is full of vegetables all made into the recipe. I wanted to eat them with the sauce, chicken, and rice. Maybe I would add some broccoli or asparagus?

Slow Cooker: Coconut Chicken Curry

2 pounds, 3-⅓ ounces, weight Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Cut Into Large Cubes
1 whole Onion, Peeled And Halved
2 cloves Garlic, Peeled
1 whole Small Green Bell Pepper, Seeded And Quartered
1 can (156ml Can) Tomato Paste
1 can (about 400ml Can) Coconut Milk
1-½ teaspoon Salt
1 Tablespoon Curry Powder
1 Tablespoon Garam Masala (Indian Spice Mix)
2 whole Dry Red Chili Peppers (optional For Extra Heat)
2 Tablespoons Water
1-½ Tablespoon Cornstarch
1 bunch Coriander (optional, For Decoration)

Instructions:

1. Place chicken cubes inside the slow cooker.

2. Place the rest of the ingredients (except chili peppers, cornstarch, water and coriander) in a food processor bowl and process together until the mix is smooth(ish). Pour sauce mix on top of the chicken, mix well, add hot peppers if using any, then close the lid. Cook on low for 6 hours.

3. An hour before serving, mix together water and cornstarch until the cornstarch is completely dissolved. Add to the chicken curry and mix well. Place the lid back on for the rest of the cooking time.

4. Serve on top of steaming white rice, like jasmine or basmati rice. Decorate with chopped coriander.

Try it. I am curious what you think. Maybe it was too fragrant and perfumed for me. Let me know what you think.

Feed your goodness

Posted by random olio

Goodness. Somedays it is hard to see it. Somedays are a struggle and it is harder to see the goodness in our lives. I ebb and flow with reminding myself that I need to focus on the good that is all around me. Usually when I have a moment of struggle and frustration I go down on my knees and am reminded of all that I have, all the goodness that surrounds me each and every day. Those moments of gratitude helps me to see what I am forgetting. Those moments remind us of the bigger picture.

Recently, I came across this excerpt from Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)’s Facebook page:

“The other day, the great author and sociologist Brené Brown (my sweet friend!) was asked, “What do you know for sure?”
She replied: “Fear is dangerous. But people are good.”
The evidence that people are good can be found all around us.
The evidence that fear is dangerous can also be found all around us — particularly because of the terrible things that fear makes people do (both to themselves and to each other.)
We all live amidst fear and goodness — and their consequences.
We are all composed of both fear and goodness.
You have a choice. Every moment of the day, you have choices.
You can follow your goodness, not your fear.
You can feed your goodness, not your fear.
You can support and encourage the goodness of others, rather than preying upon their fears or adding to their fears.
To choose goodness over fear is the single most life-affirming path a human being can ever possibly take.”

It was a good reminder for me. There is goodness in watching my niece do things for the first time. There is goodness in my day-to-day world. My marriage, my job, my family, friends, and home. Lots of good is happening around me. We all have a choice to decide to see the goodness or not. I choose to see the goodness. I choose to be happy. I choose goodness, not fear. That does not mean that I do not have fear. I do fear, but if I can focus on the good, it means I am seeing the light, not the darkness.

Do you choose light or darkness? Good or fear?

“This Girl Can”

Posted by random olio

Somehow my dad instilled in us that we could do whatever we put our mind to and it started with trying. While much of my childhood reminds me of how much we failed my dad, there were definitely moments that he instilled positive reinforcement that we were capable and we had to put one leg in front of the other and go. A blog post from the early days of my blog brings back memories of my dad, titled: “The I CAN.” I cannot say that I exhibited a strong sense of believing in those days that anything was possible. Over the years of health challenges and other issues, mixed with the raw and real reality that somehow I have always had just what I needed, these past few years I have a newfound zeal for doing anything and everything possible to suck the life out of every day.

In my mid twenties to early thirties I went through a tough medical challenge. While I do not really care to share the details, I will tell you that when I got through it I looked at life with a new lens. Yes, I jumped into life head, feet, and whole body first. I was finally able to make it through my day without my body crashing at 2 pm. I could run (at first slowly). I could sweat again. This video makes me happy because I hope women of all shapes and sizes feel the same way. Due to my health challenges I had gained over 40 pounds so I can attest to what it felt like to start moving again. Take a peek at the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aN7lt0CYwHg

Inspired? It is from the UK group “This Girl Can.” I hope that all girls, women, ladies (whatever you want to be called) feel they can move, sweat, and do what they want. It feels good to jump, dive, swim, run, bike, and move. Bring it. Go. Be. Move fast. Sweat it all out.

A**hole Brown

Posted by random olio

Last week we had dinner with good friends. Somehow during the conversation Comcast came up. Who has not had a problem with Comcast at some point in their television or internet days? They have a monopoly in most local areas. I know we have had no luck in our area. We either have Frontier (an offshoot of Verizon Fios) and Comcast. Frontier was not any better than Comcast in terms of customer service. If you do not use Frontier or Comcast, you have to go with a television service (like DirectTV) and a different company for high-speed internet.

In any case, my friend shared this hilarious story, about a Comcast customer who received their bill and the name on the bill read: “Asshole Brown.” Crazy! Take a peek at the link for an image of the bill. It makes me laugh because it is what I have wanted to say back to Comcast. While we do online bill pay, I wish I could make the payment to Comcast say: “Asshole Comcast.” We have called every month over the past year because every month our bill is not correct.

If you do an online search for “Comcast customer service issues” you will find over 3 million results. Such as this one where a customer recorded the phone calls he had with Comcast. I wish we would have done the same thing!

At the moment Comcast is trying to purchase Time Warner Cable, which would make the worst cable provider (customer service wise) have that much more control. Hopefully, if the deal goes through, Time Warner has some sort of interest in the customer. In an era where the customer comes first, Comcast has a lot to learn.

Hopefully Comcast figures out how to stop calling their customers assholes. It will not help their already pissed off customers. A few items to note, Comcast, you: 1) need better customer service 2) should not call customer’s assholes 3) should fix their bills, and follow through with what you say you will do. Not too tall of an ask, right?

#comcastsucks