What do we want people to feel?

A video made my weekend. What resonated with me? This idea:

“What do we want people to feel?”

What if we thought about that in everything we do? Yes, Apple designs amazing products. They think about keeping it simple, and if they excel at their design, the user will not be frustrated, they will not even think about the design, almost as though they are just one with the product. That is true for many of us. We do not even think about how often we use it (all the time), where we use it (on the toilet), that some people take it to bed with them (only when Chris is away in case he calls).

What if we took the question a step further? What if you went into a meeting and thought about how you wanted to make people feel? Do you want to make them feel included? Do you want to make them feel heard? Do you want to make them feel passionate? If so, how did you go about making them feel that way? If you come home from work and you think about how you want to make your spouse feel, what do you do? Do you instantly give them a hug and ask about their day or, do you sneak away to the bathroom and hide out? We could probably all think more about how we can make them feel happier, appreciated, and heard.

My favorite part is then near the end:

“Until everything we touch enhances each life it touches.”

The ripple or domino effect of doing good, being creative, of giving back. If ever person we touch impacts another, and another, and yet another. Does that make you want to make others feel good? Watch the video for your Tuesday inspiration!

Thank you, Kurt, for sharing this video from Apple with Chris.

Losing your temper

Posted by random olio

I have a post-it on my computer screen that says:

“You lose all your control when you lose your temper.” Author unknown.

I do not know where I read it, or who might have shared this idea with me, but it is a good reminder on those tough days when continuous curve balls are thrown your way. Whether it be the angry driver you encounter on the way to work, the woman who cuts in front of you at the grocery store with an overflowing basket, or the customer service agent who was curt and short with you, anger is at times hard to hold back.

For me, I find that at times my anger comes to the surface when I do not feel heard. It can happen with friends, a spouse, family, a stranger, really anyone. Their intentions might be 100% pure, but they might be distracted with their own issues, and the result makes me feel invisible.

A thought came to me the other day. For every situation where I want to react and get angry with an individual, I need to take that frustration and respond with the same love and care that I wanted all along. I will give you an example: If Chris lets me know he will take care of something for us, I then check it off my list of To-Do’s and expect he will take care of it. If I find out later that it was never handled, it might set me off, and make me feel ignored. Instead of reacting with anger, I could respond with how his actions made me feel, and what it means to me when he follows through on his promises. Yes, these are just tiny instances, but each little experience is part of a larger picture. Rather than reacting, stay in control, and share how you feel.

What do you do when you lose your temper? Why do you lose it?

Why worry?

Posted by random olio

I recently finished a novel that was a bit odd. I am not sure I can even try to explain the storyline, but it was different enough that it kept my interest. The book was titled: “The Family Needed” by Steven Amsterdam. One of the quotes that resonated with me (even if it was just for the story of a novel) was:

“All I mean is there is no profit in worrying. By the time you get where you’re going, the story will have changed anyway.”

What a great quote for everyday life, and so true. By the time we agonize over what we are worrying about the moment, hour, day has already changed. The story has changed. Why not just focus on the good that is happening right now, and stop worrying about the future? I am one that easily can worry. Will we be safe? Will we have enough money to cover that unexpected expense? What will they think? How will they treat me? Will I be prepared?

There are so many ways we can worry about the future. Whether about a sibling, our job, a child, friend, or parent, there is so much to worry about each and every day. What if your focus and thought was different? What if…you remembered that you had no control over the future, you only have control over right now. You could choose to enjoy the present moment, hour, day. You could choose to have that hard conversation with your friend, or decide to not let their life decisions bother you.

What story will you change, and what story will you let go of today?

Some SF + OAK lovin…

Posted by random olio

I promised you a blog about San Francisco. We spent every waking hour either walking or eating. Why not? It is San Francisco. We spent one day playing in the city, and the second day in Oakland. I had a few favorite places I wanted to revisit on Saturday, and I was happily surprised and inspired by a neighborhood we found in the Mission that did not disappoint.

We ventured to Skunkfunk, and Synergy Clothing – both places I wanted to visit. On the way and in between, we found many other boutiques and design stores that did not hesitate to inspire. I love to see how different neighborhoods and cities showcase their current design tastes. On our way to finding a sweet treat, we stopped at Muji. My all time favorite Japanese pen shop with newer locations in New York and San Francisco. I have a passion for fine tip pens. The ones I purchase from Muji are .38. Hard to find in many places in the states.

Next stop: Kara’s Cupcakes.

Chris and I are cupcake fiends. Whenever we travel, we are always on the lookout for the best tasting cupcake. I really do not care what it looks like, it has everything to do with the flavor. We have our favorite in Portland, but by far the best cupcakes we have found in the states is Kara’s Cupcakes. They were a bit snooty with us, but the cupcakes did not disappoint. I found out on their website that they are opening a location in Monterey, CA this summer. As you can see they did not last long. Favorites of the day? Red velvet, Banana Caramel, and Lemon. Yum. If you are ever in San Francisco, be sure to go to the Marina District and try Kara’s.

On Sunday in Oakland, we made sure to visit one of our favorite coffee roasters, Blue Bottle Coffee. Yes, I know I am boring by purchasing decaf. Leave me alone. Their beans rock. If you want to try them from the middle of the country, you can purchase beans right from their website. They also now have locations in San Francisco and New York City.

We spent a few hours on Sunday walking outside in Oakland. It was overcast, and at times chilly and other times warm and sunny. While out for our long stroll, we saw this biker-come-kayaker. Quite the workout he must have had on Sunday!

While taking a break to rest our feet and get a warm drink, I found this fancy door. While I do not have a place for it in my home, it inspired me. A wine rack/barn/door. A very clever design idea.

A great trip. We are both a bit sunburnt, but had a wonderful weekend, strolling, talking, eating, catching up, and feeling inspired.

Bay area we will see you soon.

Better than you ever imagined.

Posted by random olio

“It is going to be better than you ever imagined.”

I do not remember when I first heard this statement. I know I was young. Life was not always a piece of cake with ice cream on the side. It is a thought that has always stayed with me and always resonated. It brought me strength. When things were tough when my mom was sick it made me think about days when life might be better. At times I thought, well it cannot get any worse, so it can only get better. Whether you believe in God, a higher power, or the universe, there is a design to our lives that we do not always have control over. When we let go and let the design take shape and happen as it is meant to, we open ourselves up to allow for “better than you ever imagined.”

When I have had trying work situations and it was hard to see to the end of a long tunnel, it brought me hope. Hope. We all have to have it. We can have it on the darkest days, and it can be with us when life is good. Hope leaves us in a place that brings our imagination to what could be, to what is possible. When you are in a tough relationship and it seems like maybe settling is an option, think about how taking a stand for yourself means that the result of your life will be better than you can ever imagine. It does not mean it will happen the next day or the next month, but standing strong for yourself can only result in amazing things.

It has in my life. Many times when I have thought why was I put in this situation? Why me? I have been so good, honest, and did the right thing, why do I get the shitty end of the deal? What I have learned is that sometimes it is not about the hand of cards you were dealt, the person that passed on in your life, the job you lost, the friend who treated you poorly. It is about how you handle that challenge, how you do or do not let it affect you. That is how you grow, and how we open ourselves up to the strength and lessons we learn. And, many times once we work through our hurt, pain, or sadness what we receive on the other end is better than we can ever imagine.

What do you think?