Ideas

Zoomed In = Greater Intimacy

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Yesterday I woke up after a strange dream and had many thoughts instantly come into my head that had nothing to do with my dream. What a strange way to wake up on a Sunday morning. The following is what came into my thought. Good thing I have a pen and pad of paper next to my bed…

There never seems to be enough time in the day to accomplish all that needs to get done. There are usually too many lenses to look through, and too many things to focus on. Often we are juggling too many things and it means we cannot focus well on any of them. The same goes for people in our lives. I am a fan of having fewer close friends, than many non-close acquaintances. The more individuals we have to devote our attention to, the less depth we can give to others.

It is like being at a large party or a big wedding. How many times have you been to a wedding, and never really had the opportunity to connect with the bride or groom? Was it because of the large volume of people the bride/groom have to attend to on their wedding day? Did you feel more like just another body attending the event? Many times at large events, the more individuals that are involved, the less intimacy and connection happens.

Depth is lost by more numbers.

Just like when you take a photo of a large group of people, you cannot zoom closer in with the lens to include everyone, you have to go further away. I crave smaller, closer connections. I would rather zoom in than out, and allow for greater connection and intimacy.

Thoughts on my random morning wake up brain dump?

Banned: Texting while walking

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I keep meaning to write about texting. It came to me the other day – just a random thought while working – that kids today probably do not pass notes, they text during class. Someone told me that phones are not allowed in classrooms, but I know that most school kids know how to text without even looking at the phone screen or keyboard. So I imagine it is happening under desks and in pockets. Gosh, how that makes me feel old. The art and design of letters, color, drawings, and fold of the paper is lost. Now, the passed note is replaced with: “ROTFLMAO” – for those of you that need a translation: “Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.” We have turned plain English words into acronyms. Why? Is it because it is easier? We are lazy? Who knows! I just hope that those who grew up sending 1000 text messages a day are still able to formulate real sentences.

Which is why I find the story about a town in New Jersey bizarre. Individuals walking in Fort Lee, New Jersey will have to stop to text, following the passage of a law that imposes $85 fines on walkers caught texting. I am not against a city putting such a ban in place. I just am fascinated that it is what was needed for those with texting addictions. What does that say about how engaged we are with our phones, apps, emails, and texts that we cannot even watch to ensure that we can make it safely across the street. What is interesting is that the ban is connected to texting, but really a person could be watching a YouTube video, playing Scrabble, updating Facebook all while walking. We are so connected to the Inter-world, that we cannot seem to disconnect in the outer world.

Be sure to look at the end of this Huffington Post article that has quite a few videos of individuals texting (we assume they are texting, maybe they just saw something funny on Facebook) while walking and what happens to them.

Do not even get me started on texting and driving. So I guess I will leave you by saying: *”SSEWBA”

Enjoy your day – and keep your head up!

*Someday Soon, Everything Will Be Acronyms

Do You Listen 100%?

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A few months ago I came across “You Learn by Living” by Eleanor Roosevelt. I wish I had read it many years ago. She inspired me more than any other first lady. One idea (of the many I wrote down) was about listening. I feel that over the past few years we as a society have become horrible listeners. There are too many other things happening around us. Our phone is ringing, we are getting a text message, sending an email, or in the middle of a level of Angry Birds. We multi-task. I myself am just as much to blame. I am a hard-core multi-tasker. I of course feel like I do an amazing job at it, but do I really? I feel like I do, but I often wonder if I am just trying to make myself feel better about all that I am trying to do at once. This is what she says about listening:

“If such a search is to be successful, however, you will need two qualities which you can develop by practice. One is the ability to be a good listener. The other is the imaginative ability to put yourself in the other person’s place; to try to discover what he is thinking and feeling; to understand as far as you can the background from which he came, the soil out of which his roots have grown, the customs and beliefs and ideas which have shaped his thinking.”  P. 136

Three short sentences that are jam-packed with ideas. Do you have an “imaginative ability to be a good listener?” To me that means going to extremes to make sure that the person you are engaged with knows you are listening, and that…you ACTUALLY are. What if you tried that for one week? What if you made sure that every conversation and interaction you had, you were focused 100%? I would like to try that over the next week and see if I can tell the difference in how I connect with others. Do I feel I understand them more, retained more information, and better executed on my part of the conversation? Did I tell someone I would follow through on something?

I also love where she says: “the imaginative ability to put yourself in the other person’s place; to discover what he is thinking and feeling” – it is something I try to do. See, I love learning about people. You could say people fascinate me. I always have the thought in my mind: “put yourself in their shoes.” I think it helps to relate to others who might be different from you, that might even have an opposite upbringing and life experience. I think it gives a person empathy when interacting with others.

So, are you with me? Do you want to try to listen 100% over the next week?

Are Women Paid Fairly?

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I am a bit cranky about this…yesterday I was reading the Daily Worth newsletter. Often I scan through their emails quickly and move on, but this time I read it entirely. It was about a bill that is being voted in on Congress today on the Paycheck Fairness Act. I wonder if this Act is going to pass, I want it to, but many news articles mention that it is not going to pass. How is that possible?

I am appalled. Come on folks it is 2012 and women STILL have to fight to have equal wages. Seriously? What a joke. Just like this Daily Worth poll, I had no idea that this Act was even up for vote. If we knew, would more women back and fight it? Yes, I think so. Why do we even have to fight this? If we are truly all created equal, why do we need to fight for workplace equality? Does it mean men add something to the job that women are not capable of doing? The last time I checked the only thing a man could do better was pee standing up. Was there something else I was missing?

As you can tell I am seriously appalled that Congress has to even waste time on this – it should have been passed years ago. It makes me question all the other things that might still be unequal for women. Are women still looked at as not strong enough? What other biases exist about women that still need to be expunged?

I need help with this, I am really struggling to see the bigger picture of why this is even a conversation. Thoughts?

Go Away I’m Reading

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Such a clever title for a book: “Leave Me Alone I’m Reading” by Maureen Corrigan. I was intrigued by the title, but found that the book itself was not as interesting to me. The author went between her own life and then experiences of characters from other books. I was more engaged when I read the parts about her life, her father and mother, and of course reading.

In my own life, reading has been a way to go into the world of others. Which is why I loved these quotes from her book:

“In our daily lives, where we’re bombarded by the fake and the trivial, reading serves as a way to stop, shut out the noise of the world, and try to grab hold of something real, no matter how small.” page xvii

Later on the same page she says:

“Reading offered companionship as well as escape.” page xvii

and:

“…but constant reading kept pulling me away from the world of my childhood, the world of my parents.” page xxviii

Lastly:

“Words can summon up a skyline from the dark; they can bring back the people you loved and will always yearn for. They can inspire you with possibilities you otherwise would have never imagined; they can fill your head with misleading fantasies. They can give you back your seemingly seamless past and place it right alongside your chaotic present. page 184

I can relate to all these quotes. There have been times when a good book has offered companionship while my husband was away on business travel, or when traveling on an airplane myself. At other times the story in a book has reminded me of my parents and grandparents and the experiences I had with them. Other books take me into the life of someone else and then jettison me back to my own childhood where I uncover experiences I did not ever remember. I then begin to piece together a memory that had never before surfaced. There are many ways to engage in a book, and countless ways to experience the story and memories – past, present, and future.

How do you experience books in your life?

Oh, shh. I am off to finish my book. Okay, I wish. I have to go to work instead.