“Hugs make me fart”

Posted by random olio

I have written from time to time about farts. It might gross some of you out, but those of you that are transparent and not afraid to say what is really on your mind know that we all fart, and sometimes it happens in public places. On an airplane, in a dressing room, or at the grocery store. These days with gluten and dairy intolerances, it seems to be a more common occurrence, or maybe a more common conversation. Do not worry this blog is not completely about farts, I have another mission for your day.

It is about hugging. Ah you read the title. A colleague recently shared (jokingly of course) that he was not a fan of hugging. His wife confirmed it. He said: “Hugging makes me fart.” I laughed, and then I laughed again. Literally I can see what it means. Sometimes Chris has squeezed me so hard that well a bit of air might have escaped, but again, not the focus of this blog post. I loved what he said, and I love how funny it was to me. It was real and raw, and even if he was kidding, it brought a smile to my face and made my day!

Growing up, my house had few hugs. I do not remember hugging my siblings much, or my parents, or grandparents. It was not really encouraged and not something I witnessed too often. So I am not sure at what point in my life that hugs became prevalent. I am a hugger. I have no problem meeting a new person and by the time I have had a conversation, interacted, feel comfortable and connected giving them a hug at the end of our visit. It often feels odd to get to know someone (a man or a woman) and not give them a hug at the end of the visit. Although there is one thing I have noticed. Men often feel awkward hugging a woman too close. A hug is a hug is a hug. Just bring it in and hug it out. Who cares about what body parts come into contact with each other? To me a hug is a way to connect, a way to say I value you.

Even in an extremely love filled relationship, a hug can sometimes feel more meaningful than a kiss. You can squeeze the crap out of someone and show how much they mean to you that is sometimes hard to show in a kiss (especially in public). In the morning I often find Chris wherever he is in the house and demand my morning hug. I feel somewhat off starting my day or being at work and realizing I did not get my morning hug. (Makes me grumpy). A hug says things that do not need to be said, soothes a bad day, tears, and even a grumpy person.

Just remember though that the next time you hug someone, they might just fart!

Things could be worse

Posted by random olio

“Things could be worse and things could be so much better.” This is a line from a Joshua Ferris book “To Rise Again at a Decent Hour.” I just finished reading it and am a bit baffled by it. I love, love, loved “The Unnamed.” This book was just not the same. Regardless of the verdict on his recent book, I loved this idea. How often do we go about our lives and think: “Oh what a crappy day, or week, or month, or year.” We wallow in the situation we are in, agonize over how we could be treated differently, or think that life is incredibly unfair. Yet, maybe things are going to get worse, or maybe they will be so much better.

I have blogged about an idea my sister shared with me when I was in elementary or middle school. She said: “Things can only get better.” They did eventually get better. I do not remember how long it took, or if there was a specific moment when things got better — but they did. Sometimes I think our personal hell eventually becomes foggy or gets smaller in our minds. Sort of when you drive away from something it gets smaller and smaller or further and further away. Either life shifts and the good outweighs the bad, or our focus on the good or the bad changes. Just as the line from the book says, we could always be worse off, and life can always be better than it is right now.

There are so many ways to look at it:

_You could say I did not get what I wanted, my life sucks.

_You can say I did not get what I wanted, and I know there is something even better out there for me.

_You could say I did not get what I wanted, but my life could be worse. I could have less than I have now. I know things could be better than they are right now, but I am just grateful for what I have right now.

Regardless of how you approach your situation, it is HOW we look at it and HOW we react to what is in front of us. Do we look at life with a glass half full or a glass half empty? When we are grateful for what we have in front of us right now, we are given the space to receive more. Are you filling your glass up, or running on low? Just remember, things could be worse.

“Footprints for good.”

Posted by random olio

When I first started reading this book I thought oh this is going to be a boring one. You know the story about the rich kid, successful in the business world who finds himself helping people in need in a third world country. I do not mean to sound negative, but there are quite a few of those stories turned into books. However, this one is different. If you want to rethink your life, even in the tiniest of ways in order to help others, be sure to pick up “The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change” by Adam Braun. After you realize it is more than the rich kid meets third world and you let yourself get pulled into his story you will realize that this is a meaningful book.

Braun’s non-profit idea started from a conversation with a child where he asked: “What do you most want?” The child’s response was: “A pencil.” He wanted a pencil so he could go to school and learn. It was a reminder of how privileged we are each and every day. Most of these children whether in Africa, Asia, or Latin America do not have a school let alone a classroom to go to each day. Throughout Braun’s book he shares what he learned along the way of building his organization and juxtapositions his experience with little things anyone could do in their daily life to make change. Listen more. Strive for exceptional things. When you are tested, continue to move forward. Connect with others. Believe. Rejuvenate in order to be completely present with others. The list goes on. “Pencils of Promise” has built over 150 schools and the entire idea was started with $25. This is the one of the final quotes of his book, I thought it was a great ending:

“Start by changing the subjects of your daily conversation form the life you are living to the life you aspire to create. By speaking the language of the person you seek to become, you will soon find yourself immersed in the conversations that make you most come alive. You’ll sense the energy you emit attracting similar energy from others. Your conversations will lead to opportunities, which will become actions, which will become footprints for good.” Page 250

This book made me think about what I am doing in my life right now. How am I helping? How am I listening to those around me? How am I connecting? Regardless of whether I have started a non-profit, or building schools in other countries, how have I become alive? Am I living my true energy? How will being true to myself lead me to the next phase in my life? So many questions and so many opportunities.

Read this book. It may just inspire you.

Tears, teeth, and that smell

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment. It was a rough day in all ways. We got some not so fun news this week, Chris was traveling, a not so fun day at work, the list goes on. I will not bore you with the details. I am in the dentist chair getting my teeth cleaned, exhausted and almost falling asleep. I keep smelling something that feels familiar and realize it is my hygienist. I told her I was having a rough day and she was great, just kept quiet and did not talk too much. In turn it allowed me to be quiet.

Behind the big green glasses they give you to block their bright light, I felt tears come to my eyes. I had just spoken to my sister on my drive over to the dentist office. The smell reminded me of something from my past which in turn made me think of my mom, thus the tears. I was having one of those “I miss my mom moments” while my head was lower than my feet in the dentist chair. “Seriously?” I am thinking. “I have tears in my eyes at the dentist?” Most likely the emotions surrounding all the events of the past few days are bringing the water works, but did it have to be at the dentist?

No one noticed. Funny how I truly hate going to the dentist, and yet at this moment of cleansing, when they scrape, floss the crap out of your gums, and prod in your mouth, that it was the hour in my day that I needed to just let go, and hide behind the green glasses under the bright light. It always amazes me how the littlest smell can set off emotions in your body, bring back memories from childhood, and make you miss someone who has been gone for 20 years. I was having a day where I wanted to curl in a ball, scream and yell, throw a tantrum, and have my mom tell me it was all going to be alright.

My sister consoled me, Chris later consoled me, but sometimes all you want is your mom. Life is real and raw and painful sometimes. People let us down. We move on, we grow thicker skin, and somehow we make it through it all. Sometimes though we just want our mom to tell us that we did all we could do, and that we are going to be alright. I am looking forward to a new day full of opportunities to be quiet and listen, dance and run, and snuggle and hold those that are dear close to me.

Oh, and I have clean teeth now.

A good night sleep

Posted by random olio

Most all of us like to cuddle, whether we are 3 months, 3 years, 30 years. The art of the cuddle is the security of connectedness, closeness, and feeling safe. Sleep is always the necessary commodity for both babies, toddlers, and their parents. Either you have a sleeper or you do not, or the child ebbs and flows from one extreme to the other. With my sister and good friend both having babies in the last 3 months, it seems to be a current topic. Co-sleeping, cribs, naps while laying on you, not sleeping unless you are near them. There are so many different philosophies to what we should and should not do, how we treat sleep schedules, whether we should co-sleep with our babies.

I honestly do not know what I will do, or how I will handle whatever situation I am in, all I do know is that every child and every situation is different. I might have selected how I want to handle sleeping, only to find out that it will not work for my child. I obviously do not have to worry about it for the moment. However, when I saw this video of this father who goes much farther than I would to get his daughter to go to sleep, I laughed. You have to watch it entirely. It is comical, and yet you can probably relate. He is probably thinking my back is going to be fun to stretch out tomorrow.

What do you think? Would you go that far to get your baby to stop crying and go to sleep? It does show how sometimes we just want to be close to another, safe in their arms. She goes right to sleep if she is laying on him. I can relate. Sometimes just snuggled up next to Chris on the couch I can fall right to sleep. Comfort + Safety + Trust = A good night sleep.