Everyone wants to be loved

Posted by random olio

Over the past few weeks I keep thinking about how we all just want to be loved. I see it in interactions with friends, coworkers, family, and strangers. Sometimes I think you can see it in their eyes, the craving, the desire, the want. We each in our own way crave connection, want to feel needed, included, heard, and seen.

What if you responded to the person that annoys you the most in your day with love? Truly. I mean it. What if you decided to listen to and focus on them? You might find that their attitude actually shifts and you find that you like them more than you thought. It is definitely possible that they will continue to bug you, but maybe, just maybe, things will change.

I can think of a few individuals that I know that annoy a few other individuals that I also know. When I look at the “annoyer” I often see a strong desire to feel included. They only want to be part of the gang, listened to, and accepted. It feels like they try too hard, and it rubs others the wrong way. It makes me wonder if I ever exhibit those same tendencies when I do not feel part of a group.

I have been trying to watch my thoughts when someone bugs me. I stop for a second and ask myself if their actions have more to do with something I do not like, or if really they are acting out of a strong desire to feel included. Just because someone wants to feel included does not always mean we have to give them exactly what they want, but we can be more empathetic to them.

Are you listening and sharing the love?

Oh how I hate hold music.

Posted by random olio

How often do you call your cable company, or your credit card company and either have to listen to a zillion annoying little prompts to get to where you want to go, or you wait on the line for what feels like eternity only to listen to their hold music?

I can adamantly say that I have never once said to anyone: “Oh, xxxx company has the most amazing hold music.” Why is that? Why is waiting on hold to be helped so excruciatingly painful? Do they hope that most of us will hang up the phone out of boredom, anguish, and insanity and instead go online and send them an email? I try to do that as much as possible, but there are just certain things that need to be handled by a live person. I will give you a few examples:

_When your cable company (ahem, Comcast) continues to screw up your bill every month since you moved in 10 months ago. No email will ever be able to truly shed light on your true frustration, only duking it out with a live person will hopefully grant you the discounts and offers you deserve.

_Anything having to do with financial information, credit cards, and bank accounts should be handled online. Yes I am old school. I prefer a live person to mess up my account, then a live person behind an email. At least I can ask for my phone call to be escalated, and hopefully my phone call was “recorded for quality purposes.”

_You enjoy connecting with other people, making their day, and generally being the world’s nicest customer. I know a few people who fit that description, and they are the cream of the crop. If only we could have their patience.

I digress. This all started out being about hold music. I still do not understand why they have not invented hold music that connects you to Pandora or Spotify and lets you jam to your current selection. Maybe customer service representatives will find their customers happier, more patient, and generally not going insane by hearing the same song for the 37 minutes they waited on hold. Of course that song was interspersed with a few ads for lower interest rates, or how you could be saved money, with the additional message of how many other customers are in front of you in the queue.

#needmorepatience4holdmusic

Look people in the eye

Posted by random olio

I have a thing about looking other people in the eye. When you meet someone for the first time, you shake their hand, and you look them in the eye. It is just what should be done. No one taught me that, no one told me that is what should be. I was taught more about the strong hand shake rather than about someone’s eyes. Yet, it is what connects me with another and it is what can irk me about someone.

When I meet a new person and their eyes wander or if they can never make direct eye contact with me for those few moments, I become uneasy. I wonder why they do not want to look at me. I think of those moments as a time when you can learn so much about another person. It is not like you are truly looking into their soul, but to me you can tell so much in those few moments. Are they comfortable around me? Do they have something to hide? Are they being honest with their self? Do they have something to hide from me specifically?

I remember a few strange eye contact interactions when I met one specific woman. The place and details do not matter. What matters is that going into the introductions I already did not trust her. The details I had heard about her made me think that I should be aware of what I said and how I shared certain things from my life. Then her eyes told me that I should trust my intuition. She could not make eye contact with me. What that tells me is be careful, this person might not be trustworthy. Walk carefully, and watch what you say. Sometimes people are just so in their own worlds that they do not have any idea how they bring themselves into a conversation and so you have to take everything with a grain of salt, but watch another’s body language. Watch how they shake your hand, how they look at you, or how they do not look at you. It can tell you a lot about a person.

What do you think?

Words that make you squirm

Posted by random olio

Moist. Moist. Moist. It does it for me. It adds many grotesque images to my thought. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Hole. Crevice. Crotch. Pus. The list could go on. Why, oh why do these words give us such visual images in our thoughts? Why do they cause us to cringe and vomit in our mouths? Maybe it is the connotation of these words. Many of them have to do with body parts, discharge, leakage, etc. They do not bring great visuals to thought (more of the excrement variety) yet how have we become so tainted with visuals?

Recently I found this blog about the word moist and I laughed hysterically. Such a great post sharing all the different nuances for “moist.” Moist cake, damp, wet, the list goes on. But worst (yes, worst of all) is when I hear someone say, “moist panties.” I know it is a joke. I know it is just to mess with me, but it makes me quiver with disgust (even if I do chuckle a bit inside). Not what you expected in a random olio blog post? Well it is random, and it does happen, sometimes you just have to think of the stuff that goes unsaid. Yes, I am the one that just says what is on my mind.

This “Guardian” article mentions a few other words that make folks grossed out, but none of them really make me shudder. Phlegm does not bring the best visual to mind, but that is only after reading David Sedaris recent book “Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls” where he talks about the nature of phlegm in China, where it is everywhere — the subway walls, streets, you name it. His description is hilarious. So much so, that I read it out loud to Chris to see if it resembled his experience during his many trips to China.

I guess it all depends on what era you grew up in, as this NPR article lists moist, phlegm, and slacks as the worst words ever. Slacks? Seriously? It is not the 1950’s. My grandma abhorred wearing slacks until her final years, as though it was a sin to be able to just be comfortable, right? I guess I will have to create a better word for moist, since I live in one of the moistest climates in the US, and there are days and weeks that it is never dry. While we do not have that gross, moist, humidity, it seems like that word is just part of the Portland vernacular.

What words gross you out and leave visual imprints in your mind?

random x 400

Posted by random olio

400 posts. I can hardly believe it. When I started this blog back in January 2012 I had no idea I would last this long. Looking back I cannot believe that I have randomly blabbed on about 400 different topics. Okay so maybe some of them are similar. My family, childhood, money, my favorite husband, funny videos, women’s issues, the occasional political post. That is why I still love the name of this blog. My posts are random. I write about whatever inspires, infuriates, makes me laugh. The randomest of things come out of my finger tips.

I often only have a glimmer of an idea when I sit down with my laptop and let my thoughts flow. There are times when a blog idea formulates in my thought and I sit down and start typing, never knowing how it will finish, or how long it will take. Sometimes it all comes out fast and furious in a matter of minutes and other blogs never feel exactly right. Sometimes I will write a post and it remains in draft form for weeks or months and some I eventually delete because they never feel right or salvageable.

I hope that in the process of my diatribes and babbles I have inspired, made you think, and made you laugh. There are days when I wonder why I still blog, when I wonder if it matters that I write any more. It is usually on those days when I doubt myself, my writing, and my random topics that I get an email or a comment from someone who says my blog that very day touched their heart, or was just the idea they needed that day. So you, my friends, are the reason I continue to blog. I do not write for anyone specific. I write because it comes out of me so passionately. I write because I do not know how I could keep it all in. This blog is therapy for me. It is a connection to so many individuals I have corresponded with and inspiration for what other ideas will continue to pour out of my fingertips and onto this MacBook Air.

Thank you to everyone who has read and continues to read this blog. You are appreciated and are an inspiration to me. I only hope I continue to inspire through random olio.