Plan for a day, or plan for a life?

Posted by random olio

Why do we spend so many months and years planning for a day, when really we should be planning for our life? I have written a few blog posts that discuss marriages and weddings. I was shocked after reading this Fast Company article, specifically this quote:

“As the wedding industrial complex has ballooned to unprecedented sizes–wedding costs exceeds the median income in the U.S.”

Are people crazy? Who is spending over the median income to pay for a wedding, and how many years is it taking them to pay off their wedding bills? Are we trying to turn a wedding into this perfect day for ourselves, or all the guests that experience the day with us? Is it more about competing with the Jones’ that make this industry continue to balloon? Whatever happened to going to a church, or a park, or the beach, with some friends and family, saying your vows, and eating some food? Does spending as much as a good portion of a house make the marriage start off in a better way?

A wedding can be beautiful, it can be done in an elegant, classy, and inexpensive way. There are infinite ways to bring two lives and two families together without having to spend so much money. I get concerned that many of these weddings are either sending the parents who might be paying into an extreme amount of debt, effecting their future retirement, or that the couples themselves are going into major debt. Why start a marriage on an unstable financial foundation? Yes, maybe I am completely wrong and most weddings have been saved and paid for, but if wedding payment is anything like how our society lives on a regular basis, than most go on credit cards, only to incur a hefty APR and payments for many, many years to come.

Instead, how about starting a marriage on stable ground? Have the wedding you can afford, pay for it immediately, and continue to live your life accordingly. So I will say again: Why do we spend so many months and years planning for a day, when really we should be planning for our life?

Letter to Sheryl Sandberg

Posted by random olio

I have not really followed Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO) or her new book that was just released. Last week on Facebook I saw this quote and had to share it. Maybe I like it because I was a bossy little girl. Go Sheryl.

Then I found this letter to Sheryl Sandberg from Daily Worth founder, Amanda Steinberg, and I had to share as I agree with the letter. In it, she mentions a TIME magazine cover story, where Sandberg says of her husband: “He manages our money,” she says. “I have essentially no interest.” (page 5 of the TIME article). This comment is what Steinberg is reacting to in her letter.

Each and every woman should have a stake in and understanding of their personal finances. It does not mean that we always understand everything 100%, but we should try. I know too many women, that make a good living and would willingly turn over their hard-earned income to the man in their life, because they do not understand how to manage their finances. Please stop.

I know that it might be the easy way out, but you are not doing yourself any service by giving your money over to the man in your life. You are giving away your power. I would be the first to say that I do not always understand each and every part of our finances or retirement accounts. There are often little details that confuse the crap out of me, but the key is that I try to make sense of it. I want to know. I do not give up my power to my husband. We share the responsibility of our finances and make each and every decision together.

So in light of Sheryl Sandberg, and her great success as a woman, I encourage all women out there regardless of income level to care about their finances. It does not mean that you have to manage your finances day-to-day, just care about understanding them. You might pay someone to manage your finances, your husband might handle them, but set up a time each week or month to review your finances with whoever is handling them. Make a point to understand how much you are spending, and how you are saving. If you do not, to me it is like having someone take care of your children, yet you do not know their style. Which means you do not really know what is happening, right? I agree with Steinberg, all women should feel confident managing their money so that they are able to live life on their own terms.

What do you think?

Did You Pay For College?

Posted by random olio

I recently read this discussion called: “Why Kids Should Chip in for College.” It is a discussion I support. I had to pay my way through college and while it was tough, it was good life experience for me. It starts the reality that life costs money in a big way. Maybe you do not have to have your child pay for school completely, but they should contribute. If not, what happens when they graduate? Will you continue to pay for their life? How have you helped them to prepare for the next stage of their life where they have to pay rent, utilities, food, car payments, insurance, etc.?

These days with the zillions of technical devices we have at our finger tips, the ease of access to credit cards, and dwindling checking accounts, those graduating from college will have a harder time balancing the cost of their wants with the bills they will now have to pay, with the amount in their paychecks. Do we need to shift the balance of what we are doing for kids today? Have we taught them the value of the cost of life itself?

I remember a class we had to take in high school. I cannot remember what it was called, but what I do recall is that we had a section on stocks. We were split up into teams and we had to decide what stocks we were going to buy together based on the research we did on the company, the rate of return, and many other factors. I cannot remember how well my team did, but it sparked a new thrill inside me of something I had never been exposed to – investing. What I find interesting about this class that we were required to take, was that we never learned about the basics of money: balancing a checkbook, living within your means, interest rates, deciding between how much you can make saving versus paying off debt, and saving for retirement. These aspects of personal finance would have benefitted us way before we were ever at a place to actually invest in stocks.

I wonder how many college graduates know those core personal finances ideas. Are most college graduates savvy with their social media profiles, and maybe how to create their next app, but not ready for the basics of paying their rent, and saving for their next plane ticket? Are we coddling kids today, rather than finding ways for them to be set up for success?

What do you think? Are we preparing today’s college graduates for their best financial future?

Do you want to feel truly connected with others?

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have a conversation with someone only to realize they are in another world? Their mind is thinking about Facebook, the text they just received, the email they need to respond to? We are now such a highly connected society that we often do not go more than an hour without having connected with someone that is miles away from us, yet we struggle to sometimes connect with the person that is sitting right in front of us.

A few months ago I finished reading the book: “Program or be Programmed” by Douglas Rushkoff. A few days ago, I was reminded of Rushkoff’s book, after an interaction that just felt too on the surface to me. We have become a society that just takes from the top layer. We are getting farther and farther away from going deep. Our world revolves around the moment by moment distractions of our phones, tablets, and what is happening on the Internet. Rushkoff says:

“A society that looked at the Internet as a path toward highly articulated connections and new methods of creating meaning is instead finding itself disconnected, denied deep thinking, and drained of enduring values.”

My question is what can we do to get back to deeper values, connected conversations, and quality interactions? I also like what he says here:

“Faced with a networked future that seems to favor the distracted over the focused, the automatic over the considered, and the contrary over the compassionate, it’s time to press the pause button and ask what all this means to the future of our work, our lives, and even our species.”

I want to take another look at my moments and interactions and see how I act. I already know that I am a multi-tasker. I at times applaud myself for all that I can do at once. But, am I doing things better? Am I really focused on all that is happening around me? Could I provide more quality to whatever activity that I am doing by being completely 100% connected and aware?

What do you think?

Women are badass!

Posted by random olio

The statistics are overwhelming. Violence against women is horrifying. The number of rapes, sexual acts against women, and physical or domestic violence against women is beyond believable. Yet it happens every moment of every day.

Today I do not want to talk about the violence. I do not want to think about rape or hatred against women. I want to think about love. I want to think about all the men that adore their wives, girlfriends, and daughters. I want to think about the laughter, the joy, and of all the men that encourage the women in their lives to be their badass selves. Those are the men we need to champion. Those are the men that need to stand tall and be an example for violent men. You can be a man and love your woman. You can be a man and be head over heels for your woman. Love her. Cuddle her. Allow her badass self to shine through and bless the world.

I am one of those women. My man lets my badass self shine through. He lets me be ME. Even if I sometimes makes him blush by being myself. Even if I may embarrass him. I get to be me.

Today is International Women’s Day. To all men out there, let your women shine. Let them be free. Let them be their authentic selves. Cherish them. Love them. Pamper them. To all women out there. Shine. Be free. Pamper yourself. Pamper other women. Today is a day to hug, love, and appreciate womanhood.

This song was just released today. It is called: “One Woman.”