“More than just a princess.”

Posted by random olio

Last night I spent the evening with a group of colleagues, all women. It was a badass bunch of women. Loads of talent, creativity, ingenuity, and well…sassy spunk. I am a sassy spunk kind of girl. I like to laugh. I like to ponder the world, deliberate on how individuals interact, and at the end of the day explore how women can rule the world. Why not, right? The mind of a woman is complex, intricate, and full of multi-tasking wonder. It is fun to have an evening of good food, conversation, and appreciation in the middle of the week.

I drove home thinking, “would I have had the same kind of evening with a mixed group of men and women?” My answer is yes, and no. See I did not know everyone well. I knew some better than others. And yet, I feel like women know how to bridge that gap, and find ways to connect, in ways that men don’t. Or so I think, since the last time I checked, I am not a man. Thank God.

Which is why this video resonated with me (much like “Riley and Pink Toys“). A good friend shared it on Facebook, and I had to share it, because while it is about future girl engineers, and toys for girls, it also makes me think of how the woman’s mind works. How everything in a woman’s mind is interconnected, a puzzle always being put together and solved.

A Beastie Boys twist of lyrics is what also does it for me. By the way, I love the girl’s t-shirt. “More than just a princess.” Damn straight! I am grateful for the openness, sisterhood, and connection that can happen so easily between women.

#womenrock

Looks can be deceiving

Posted by random olio

I know you probably know all you want to know about Photoshop, women, and the ads that show them as perfect. I am most likely not telling you anything new. But, here is the thing. Even though you know, even though it is not right, it is still happening. Whatever happened to transparency? What would it be like if a company photographed a model and shared the before and after shot? What if? Would that potentially open the eyes of young girls, hell, mid-life women who are telling themselves they are not worthy? If every time they saw an ad for their favorite actress, or model and if only they knew how many takes, how much work happened in Photoshop to make that perfect photo? Would that maybe help them think differently about their skin, their nose, their fat?

Body issues tend to always be at the back of most girls and women’s minds. How can they not? We are surrounded by the media, onlookers of the testosterone mindset always looking us over for their approval. Hell, it is also known that women look other women over. Maybe it is just to compare notes of where they stand against another, maybe it is to get ideas for what they might want to wear, or maybe we are just as curious as the male species.

In any case, the woman’s body is over scrutinized beyond belief. What scares me most is how far from reality ads are today showing the woman’s body. Sure, there have been companies (Dove for example) that have shown real women without Photoshop, but that is the exception. The norm shows women without a single flaw. Now I am not excluding men here, but come on. The media will show George Clooney with a wrinkle long before it will on a woman. Just think of the newscasters today, you often see an old man, but you rarely see an old woman.

So when I saw this video of the before and after of a model, I wanted to yell: Stop it! Let us all be. Let us buy the soap we want because it works, or smells good, or makes us feel sexy, not because some model makes us think we will only be happy in life, and have what they have because we have been erroneously convinced that this product will change our life. It will not. I promise you. Tell your sisters, daughters, mother, friends to watch for these bullshit depictions of women in the media. To not get sucked in. We are all who we are regardless of our wrinkles, ripples, fat, and blemishes. Do not make anyone or anything tell you differently.

Kick Ass Author for Congress

Posted by random olio

One of my all time favorite authors and lecturers, Marianne Williamson, is running for Congress for California’s Congressional District 33. Hell yeah! While I have no desire to move to LA, and politics and party lines aside, it would be so fun to vote and fill in that box by her name on my ballot. What an inspiration her words have brought to my life. It brings me joy and inspires me, and hopefully it will inspire women to vote, and to get off their ass and open their mouth and speak up.

The very first Marianne Williamson book I read was in high school, called “Return to Love.” I still have my copy of that book, with all the tabs and highlighted quotes and notes. The pages have become worn with age because it is not a book I read once or twice, it was a book that sustained me during some tough times in my life. I can remember being a sophomore in high school, away at boarding school, and that book would go with me everywhere. Return to Love is her take on “A Course in Miracles” which I never got into, but her explanation and personal experience was just the right story I needed to hear at a time when what I needed most was a showering of love in my life. Here is a quote that resonated with me and was very marked up in my copy of Return to Love:

“People who have the most to teach us are often the ones who reflect back to us the limits to our own capacity to love, those who consciously or unconsciously challenge our fearful position. They show us our walls. Our walls are our wounds–the places where we feel we can’t love any more, can’t connect any more deeply, can’t forgive past a certain point. We are in each other’s lives in order to help us see where we most need healing, and in order to help us heal.” page 107

Over the years I read quite a few of her books. The two that I remember and stand out to me the most (if you were interested and wanted to crack one open) are “A Woman’s Worth” and “The Gift of Change.” Of course the feminist in me found solace in A Woman’s Worth. It is a book that looks at women’s issues from a lens of healing, rather than lacking. The Gift of Change really looks at our lives and how we can shift and change our world, this one has a very spiritual twist.

I encourage you to read her announcement and why she is running for Congress on the home page of her website. If you live in the 33rd Congressional District, vote, vote, vote!

#Inspiredbymarianne

“I have been taught to filter.”

Posted by random olio

My father always said that children were to be seen and not heard. I think of it often when I have a hard time finding my words. I think of it when I am angry and pissed and I struggle to keep my emotions in check, because when I am mad it is harder to use my words. I was not taught to use them. Since I knew to keep my mouth shut, I learned how to filter. If I ever made a bad choice, and got into trouble, then the potential punishment was in the form of his wooden fraternity paddle. That thing scared me. As did my dad’s disappointment.

I began to read voraciously when I was very young, and I started writing and illustrating my own stories too. Sometimes I wrote to get out of my world. Now I write to make sense of my world, to put the puzzle pieces together and try to understand it all. The thoughts and opinions I have of myself and how I perceive each situation. Did I handle it well? Did I react confidently and with poise? Or, did I go overboard and lose my cool? I remember a few classmates in college that impressed me with their writing ability. I can remember someone in particular that was able to put pen to paper about womanhood in the rawest of forms, and I never felt I could write like that.

So when I saw “Shrinking Women” it reminded me of my days studying Sociology, Women’s Studies, and Women’s Writing in college. While I was intensely into my studies, and at times felt like a hard-core feminist, I could never write poetry. I actually even had a hard time following poetry in general. Unless it was short and sweet, I was usually not interested. Lily Meyers, who wrote, “Shrinking Women” kept me listening. Maybe it is because I relate to her story. She won Best Love Poem at the 2013 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational last April, and is a 2015 future graduate of Wesleyan University (Middletown, CT).

Here are a few lines that stood out to me:

“My brother never thinks before he speaks. I have been taught to filter…You have been taught to grow out. I have been taught to grow in…I learned to absorb…That’s why women in my family have been shrinking for decades…How much space she deserves to occupy…I asked five questions in genetics class today and all of them started with the word: sorry.”

Lily will make you think about how women view their body and their space, and how your actions might make your sister, friend, daughter, or niece view their body and space. It gets good at around 1:25 minutes. Maybe her passion, youth, and talent will make other women get rid of their filters. Enjoy.

Her voice must be heard.

Posted by random olio

Last Friday, October 11, was the second ever “International Day of the Girl.” A day to celebrate girls, and hell yes a celebration was needed. Then a roll up of each sleeve and getting down to business. Do you know what the International Day of Girl is all about? The United Nations website states:

“On December 19, 2011, United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 66/170 to declare October 11 as the International Day of the Girl Child, to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world.”

I am humbled to know that this day exists. We do have a few days in the calendar year that champion women, but sometimes I think the teenager or young girl is lost in that conversation. They are deal with first world problems like pressure from their peers (girls or boys), body image, rape, teen pregnancy, negative portrayal of girls in the media, or abuse, or third world problems such as genital mutilation, sex trafficking, violence, hunger, disease, and child marriage. Some of these issues are both first and third world problems.

My thoughts at the moment go to education, role models, and mentors. Do girls today have good role models? Where some might be privileged enough to have someone like Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook as their role model, others may need to have someone very tangible, local, and present as their role model. Do women in local communities have the time, patience, and dedication to be there for girls? Are you there for a girl in your life? I do not know many girls locally that need a mentor, but it has made me think more about being one.

Nike, Inc. started The Girl Effect many years ago. This year for “International Day of the Girl” they have put together The Girl Declaration. You will want to watch this video from The Girl Effect. I love near the end, where it says: “This is for every girl in the world. Who has a voice that must be heard.” I am also sharing the full text of The Girl Declaration below the video. Please be sure to explore The Girl Effect website about the Girl Declaration. Share it with others. Girls voices need to be heard.