What are you afraid of?

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We all have fears. Some are ones we might never share with another individual. Others we have no issue with telling the world about because in some ways it bonds us with others. Somehow over time our list of fears seemingly add up, and for those few of you out there that are daredevils and are willing to do and try anything, I bet there is still something that you are afraid of.

What is your greatest fear? I cannot necessarily say that I have decided what my greatest fear is, but I can tell you that I am absolutely petrified of snakes. Whether I see a small garter snake in the grass, or I am watching a movie with a massive snake I quake just a bit in my skin (okay not a bit, a lot). It does not matter where I am, I do not want to ever interact with a snake. Which means that on a hike, or even out for a run I will literally freak out if I encounter a snake. Forget looking at them at the zoo behind the glass, they still give me the hibbie jibbies. Maybe my fear is because they are so unpredictable, or they have a way of being sly and then striking. I have always been scared of them.

Your fears might be of talking in front of others, or the dark, or traveling on a plane. Sometimes our fears are because of something that has happened in our life, or because of something that has happened to someone we know. Other times our fears are about anticipation. We dream up all these potential scenarios of what could happen, or what should happen, and in reality we make it all up in our head. I am not sure if I can ever get over my fear of snakes, but I do know I probably make a bunch of crap up that keeps me afraid (the self-fulfilling cycle of fear).

Michelle Poler decided to not let her amassing fears overtake her life. She decided to live for 100 Days Without Fear. Take a peek at her website, where she posts videos that show her doing what she is afraid of. It is inspiring, and well I am not doing so well because I had to quickly scan past the video of her holding a massive snake. She did look slightly in pain doing it! So, what are you afraid of that you could maybe overcome?

Being grateful

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I woke up at 4:45 am Sunday morning and could not sleep or get comfortable. I thought about just getting up. Instead the thought that came to me was to just lay there and be grateful. A long list of things came into my thought and eventually I fell back asleep. I woke up an hour or so later, not able to sleep and still uncomfortable. So I did the same thing.

I have had pivotal moments in my life when I have woken in the middle of the night and could not get back to sleep with very strong thoughts about another person in my life. Whether I had an intuition that something was not right in the world, or a moment of pause about a specific individual. Early on when I would have these pitch-black-middle-of-the-night intuitions, well they freaked me out. Over time I learned to stop, be quiet, and listen. Depending on how coherent I am I might lay there and pray, or think about how I can support and think good thoughts for the world situation or individual that woke me from sleep.

Waking in the wee hours of Sunday morning was not about a person, but it was a full body reminder for me. Why did I have to lay in bed unwilling to get out of my cozy bed to take moments to be grateful for my amazing husband, family, friends, colleagues, home, work, etc? The list went on in my head. Even to specific worldly pleasures, such as my new favorite sheets that I was laying between. That utter euphoria I felt for all the goodness in my life (does not mean it was perfect) reminded me to take more moments in the day to acknowledge that goodness. Why not before I fall asleep at night? Or at least on those nights when I do not fall asleep the instant my head hits the pillow… Who am I kidding? That never happens to me.

This is a reminder for you and for me. Be grateful. Keep it inside or let it ooze out and tell those that you are feeling gratitude for them. Snuggle in your bed and appreciate the sheets that have you smitten. Watch the video of your niece laughing over and over again. Forget the struggles that you have for a few moments and just be head over heels grateful for all the good in your life.

Have you seen: “Grace and Frankie?”

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Netflix has really been putting out compelling programming lately. We were already addicted to “House of Cards” and “Orange is the New Black.” Due to the fact that Netflix releases an entire season at once, Chris can be a binge watcher and wants to keep watching since it is all available right away. I am more of let the ice cream melt mentality. What does ice cream have to do with watching Netflix? As a kid we did not have desserts or sweets very often. Mostly just when we spent time with my grandma. On rare occasions when we would have ice cream, I would often eat it so slowly that the last half of my bowl was runny and soup-like. I was trying everything I could to let it last longer and longer — even to go to such lengths as using a smaller spoon to eat tiny bites. It was such a treat I wanted it to last longer.

I want the same for when I watch a good show. So while I do not want to wait a week to see the next episode, I might only want to watch 1-2 a night and then let it all soak in and start again the next night. Recently we happened across a new show called: “Grace and Frankie.” We watched it like I used to eat ice cream. Enjoying it along the way. We watched the last episode on Saturday and I have to say that I am a bit bummed that we are done with the first season. The show is about two couples, and well…I do not want to give away what happens with these couples, so you will have to watch. Just know that the two couples are played by Martin Sheen, Sam Waterson, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin. Having just finished watching “Newsroom” with Jane Fonda and Sam Waterson, and having loved West Wing, we were hooked. The first episode is a little slow, but it gets better. I also relate to one of the daughters, Brianna, as she is the sassy one.

The episodes are thirty minutes so it is a quick season to watch. I hope it does well for Netflix because I would like to see Season 2. This weekend, we get to start watching the next season of “Orange is the New Black.” Better make sure we have ice cream.

Graffiti Badasses

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Sometimes you see something in life that just inspires and makes you think “I want to be able to do that.” I grew up in a small Midwest town, and well let’s just say nothing much happened in my small town. Sure there was crime and the usual everyday life, but for the most part it was just boring. I went off to a boarding high school, then to college, then to Boston. Somewhere along the way I grew interested in graffiti. I definitely did not find that interest from my small town. If there was tagging of any kind, it was with a non-artistic kid that went rogue with a spray can either because they were bored or because maybe someone had pissed them off and they decided to get back with a paint can.

I find it interesting that graffiti originates back to Ancient times, and today it can have a positive or negative connotation. In some neighborhoods, graffiti is welcomed as it means kids are off the streets and putting their energies into an art form. In other areas, it is looked at as controversial because of what the art might depict to other community members. Either way, I always gravitate towards graffiti that is done well, even if sometimes I find I do not understand what I am looking at – isn’t that the case with many types of art? You see what you see, or you see what you want to see.

Take a moment to watch this five-minute video of a graffiti installation (or part of it). The amount of time that must have taken, and the creativity and talent of these Australian graffiti artists.

Random recipe: Buttermilk Spice Cake with Cinnamon Frosting

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Last Sunday was my birthday. Typically we do not make a big ordeal about birthdays and holidays. I can only remember one time since we have been married that I made Chris a birthday cake. On Sunday I was making a dry shampoo for my hair that involved cinnamon and realized we had less than a teaspoon left. I am one to say that the last person that almost uses an item up needs to put it on the list for the grocery. Chris was planning to go to the store that day, and when he got home we had a fresh jar of cinnamon.

I was inspired by the new jar of cinnamon. Knowing that there was fresh cinnamon led me to decide to make myself a birthday cake (well sort of). I did not really care about my birthday or making it for myself, I just had this overwhelming urge to have spice cake with nutmeg, cloves, and of course cinnamon. Oh man was it worth it! We have had a slice (or two) each night this week. Usually I am not one to make a cake. I feel they tend to go dry out too fast, so I resort to going to our favorite cupcake bakery, Saint Cupcake, where we can select a few different flavors to enjoy in the smaller cupcake format.

Buttermilk Spice Cake (Food Network)

Recipe courtesy of Emeril Lagasse, 1999

Ingredients
2 cups brown sugar
1 stick butter, softened
1/2 cup vegetable oil
5 large eggs, separated
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
Pinch of salt
1 cup buttermilk

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease and flour 2 (9-inch) cake pans. In a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer, cream the brown sugar and butter. With the mixer running, add the oil in a steady stream. Add the egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder, spices and salt into a medium-size mixing bowl. Alternately add the flour mixture and the buttermilk to the batter, mixing well. With the electric mixer, in another large mixing bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form, then fold them into the cake batter. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared pans. Bake until the center springs back when touched, about 25 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool on wire racks. After the cakes have cooled, invert them onto sheets of parchment paper. Slice each cake in half and set aside.

*Only change I made was I did not have allspice, so I used a bit more nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon in its place. Also, I did not slice the cake in half, I just frosted between the two layers and on the top. Slicing would have been too much work and I was ready for a slice!

The recipe from Food Network did not have a frosting recipe, so after exploring quite a few (and not wanting to use one with cream cheese) I found this one which at first Chris felt was too cinnamon-y. I thought it was perfect. The recipe comes with a cake recipe, but I did not have cake flour, and I already found the cake I wanted to make, so the link has both, but I only made the frosting.

Cinnamon Frosting (Better Recipes)
1 box (16 ounces) powdered sugar
1 Tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 cup melted butter
1 egg white
Dash of salt
3 Tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1.  Sift powdered sugar and cinnamon into a bowl.
2.  Remove 1/2 cup of the sugar mixture and place in a mixer bowl along with the melted butter.  Beat until blended.  Beat in egg white and salt.
3.  Add remaining sugar mixture to bowl, along with the milk and vanilla.  Beat at high-speed until it is of spreading consistency.

The photo shows a runny frosting. It was the first night but that was because we could not wait to dig in. By the time we had a piece the next night the frosting was firm. We drizzled some extra frosting on our slices the first night. This recipe is my new favorite.