Doting on Charlie

Posted by random olio

Over the weekend I visited my sister and got to meet my three-week old niece. Her name is Charlise and they have been calling her Charlie. I secretly love calling her Charlie. She looks like a Charlie. Do not ask me to explain, as I will get defensive, just trust me, she is a Charlie. She is a feisty little one, even at three weeks. My sister always said she had a kicker, and she definitely lets her legs move or tighten at her own will. Especially when you change her diaper. She will tighten her little thighs (which I call chicken legs). She is very, very long for her size, has long feet, toes, and fingers, but the cutest thunder thighs (thus the chicken legs). When she does not want you to change her diaper (which hell must be new when you have just been pooping in the womb for all those months and now you have to wear a diaper). Anyway – she will tighten her legs/thighs and make it much, much harder to change her diaper. I love it. A fighter, which hopefully means she will tell it like it is, when she starts to babble and eventually talk. Right now, she communicates with her legs. My sister says she often kicks her while nursing. Little Charlie communicates in her own way.

Recently I came across this quote from Anne Lamott, and it made me think about how I felt today as I left my sister and my niece and boarded an airplane back to Portland:

“The depth of the feeling continued to surprise and threaten me, but each time it hit again and I bore it…I would discover that it hadn’t washed me away.”

Is that what it is like for most moms? I had a good afternoon yesterday. There was good energy in the office, but I kept thinking about my time with Charlie. Whatever it is, whether because she is so small and precious or because it is my sister’s daughter, I just feel such a strong connection to her. I will be there for her whenever she does not feel she can talk to her mom or dad (that is what aunt’s are for). I will be her “fun” aunt that teaches her all the sassy and fun things about life. I will pamper her, play with her, and above all else let her know that I am just another person in her life to love her to pieces. Hopefully I will not smother her with all my love for her, but that it will be just the right balance of spoiling her. Maybe I am making up for the fact that my parents are not here to dote on her. Even so I just want her to know how loved she is by her aunt and uncle regardless of the fact that we live on the north side of this country.

We already miss you tons, Charlie. We will be back soon.

Aunt T + Uncle C

A man and his TV…

Posted by random olio

What is it about a man and his TV? I was traveling this weekend and while running on the treadmill at the hotel I was staying at, I watched a bit of “Love it, or List it.” A Canadian TV show with 2 hosts, a realtor that wants to find that perfect place for the family, or the designer that can make changes to your home and make you want to stay. At the end of the episode the couple decides if they are going to stay in their current upgraded home (Love it) or sell their current home and buy a new one (List it).

While watching “Love it, or List it” over the weekend, there was an episode about a man and his massive TV. The realtor (a man) was in heaven seeing the massive TV. The designer (a woman) did not get why such a large TV was a big deal. So what is it about the man and the big TV? Such a variety of options, sizes, HD, pixels, etc. Yet, most of the women in my life could care less about any of it. So what is it about a man and his TV? Why do they get so over zealous to watch a football game on high definition? Is it because it feels like you are literally at the game, with a crisp, clear picture?

I never saw the end of the show, as I had finished my run and was back to my room for a shower and on to the rest of my day, however somehow I think that TV was allowed to stay. (The wife had remarked in an interview that they always fought about the TV). It is not an argument topic for us, but I think a big TV might always make it on the top ten list of must haves for Chris.

Regardless, I have resorted to chalking a man and his TV in the category of “it I what it is.” What item would you say about a woman? “A woman and her …”

Give and take energy

Posted by random olio

I have written often over the past year about energy. What energy do you bring into a room, a group of people, a home, your place of work? I constantly go back to the idea of energy and how we always have control over our own and how we allow it to ooze, and cover whatever we touch. Some days the sun is shining brightly and it brings a smile to your face and that energy is spread to everyone else. Those are the good days and that is the energy that is contagious. Other days we step in gum, cannot find a parking spot, and feel our energy is just off, and sometimes that bummer day is spread to everyone else.

I love this quote about energy from a Daily Om “A Question of Balance.” While it talks about intimate relationships, it actually really applies to any relationship:

“One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people.”

Whether the relationship is with a co-worker, a close friend, a sibling, or significant other, the energy you share with them matters. Think about how it feels when you walk into a room and you feel completely welcome. There is a warm and happy glow. Do you ever think about the energy you give, or what you bring to each interaction? How does your energy level, your positive (or negative) emotions bring others up or down? Do you come into situations with the intent to help elevate others, or do you intend to bring them down?

At times I feel like a sponge, absorbing the energy around me. What takes the most energy and effort is to walk into a room of negativity, and gloom and keep yourself above it while also attempting to elevate or raise the energy and emotion of others. It tends to be easier to join a negative environment then it is to raise the bar from negative to positive. A happy and positive environment is always easy to join, as I said before, it is contagious.

Bring on a positive, slap happy, environment full of laughter. I will be there with you any day.

Git-‘er-done + running + play

Posted by random olio

Gosh when I find a damn good book, I just want to tell everyone about it. I know some of you might not care about running, but open your ears… this book is worth reading. I had a week-long slump from my normal runs. Life got crazy, I felt slow, and it has made me a little cranky that my runs have been the thing to drop out of my life. For those of you that have been reading this blog for a while, you know that my run is my sanity. My closer friends and co-workers that know me, know that something is extremely off if I have not run in a week.

I will not go into the “why” of my crazy world, and the run, because at the moment that is not the point at all of this blog post. Today I tell you, read: “Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run” by Kristin Armstrong. She is a contributing editor for Runner’s World, and the woman RUNS. Do not worry if you are not a runner, her story will inspire you. Mile Markers is a compilation of her many blog posts for Runner’s World. They flow and connect and you feel like you are waking up with her, lacing on your shoes and going for a very long run (as her variety tends to be of the longer distance). You learn how she processes her life, how she stays up-to-date with her running partners, how she struggles and triumphs, and how running helps her to elevate others. This specific quote made me feel like she was talking to me:

“I can be pretty serious about taking myself seriously. I accept responsibility with somber reverence, stuffing the weight of the world into my pack and shrugging my shoulders into the straps. What can I say? When I care about something, I don’t want to blow it. Whether it’s raising my kids, meeting a work deadline, paying a bill on time, training for a race, or being there for a family member or friend, I am a girl who gets up in the morning with the intention of being better than I was the day before. But it’s not easy to keep all the balls in the air, to juggle this master schedule called Aspects of My Life. I drop balls. They go thudding and bouncing and rolling away, and I skid and scramble to collect them and start over again, breathless. There are three things in my life that have saved me from myself, from turning into the most regimented, boring git-‘er-done kind of gal. They are my children, my friends, and running. Why? Because they remind me to play.” page 41

I am that woman who has that same intention of being better than I was the day before. I can usually hold the straps of that backpack and make things happen. Where do I fail and what saves me in the end? Chris. Friends/Family. Running. Playing. Dabbling in art. Laughter. They have all saved me from myself. Absolutely.

I am not even a third of the way through this book, and I had to write a post about it. I cannot put it down. Two nights ago, as I was reading while running (yes, crazy treadmill-running, book-reading me), I got so inspired. I wanted to text a co-worker and get her on board to start running with me once a week. I wanted to wrangle all my past running folks and get out there with them! Maybe it was the spark of sunshine and 65 degree weather yesterday, or maybe it is Daylight Savings Time, or maybe Armstrong can inspire you to get a move on it. More to come on this book!

Conversations Matter…

Posted by random olio

Every day, every interaction is a story. Often the stories that unfold in front of our eyes, are not fun. There can be events and actions from others that transpire and make our story turn into a drama. Other days the story is a comedy and we laugh and have fun throughout the process. Regardless of the genre of our story, the key to it all is that we have control over how we act and react to the stories that fill our days.

I just finished reading the book: “Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian, and Al Switzler. It is such a great book both for work and personal life. I took copious notes of ideas that I could use in a professional setting and at home. I am the first to admit that I am not always on my best behavior each and every day. Sometimes an individual’s comment spark the wrong bone in your body, and a reaction occurs. Another individual can make you feel angry, frustrated, hurt, even invisible. There could be a multitude of emotions. What I loved about this book is it helps you to take control of your emotions, be upfront, and not hide behind difficult conversations.

“If we take control of our stories, they won’t control us. People who excel at dialogue are able to influence their emotions during crucial conversations. They recognize that while it’s true that at first we are in control of the stories we tell—after all, we do make them up of our own accord—once they’re told, the stories control us. They first control how we feel and then how we act. Any as a result, they control the results we get from our crucial conversations.” Page 111

Where I sometimes struggle the most is how the story controls us. At times, the story of the day agonize us. We lose sleep, we go on and on about the drama to friends, family, or our spouse so they can feel our pain. Other times we might discuss the issue and talk it out as a resolution so that tomorrow we can rewrite our story. How then can we keep the conversation in our control? How can we ensure that the conversation (especially the bad ones) do not control us, make us unhappy, and mean that we lose sleep? We are all writers for our stories. We decide what will bug us, or get under our skin. We decide what controls us.

What will you decide about the stories you create today?