Have you ever thought about bread? I mean really thought about it? Before my pregnancy, I rarely ate bread. Occasionally we would have some at a restaurant, or at someone’s house, but generally speaking we did not have bread in the house. I have always (and still do) feel like bread is a filler food. I am one that believes that we should always fill our bodies with food that is fuel. Such as vegetables and fruit.
Until being pregnant. Now I cannot get enough bread. I have had a few cravings. Nothing too exciting. Chex-Mix, animal crackers, and for the entire pregnancy I have wanted bread. In the form of toast, sandwiches, and pizza. It is the only thing that ever sounds good. My OB said that my appetite would come back in the second trimester. It has not. Nothing ever sounds good. I never really am interested in eating. Except I know when I need to. When I start to get nausea (although I never had morning sickness) I know it is time for a snack or a meal. When that happens I only want bread.
It is comfort food. If you think about it, we have the option for bread in many different meals, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, in different cultures (roti, naan, flatbread, to name a few). Now we even have gluten-free. You can have it plain, or toppings galore. I remember as a young child when I did not feel well, or when I wanted a treat, my grandma would make me toast with sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on top. My dad loved peanut butter on his toast, my mom loved apple butter. At the moment, in the middle of this pregnancy, I want jelly. There have been times though when all I wanted on my toast was melted butter.
Now bread has become a phenomenon via the not so new culinary concept of “toast.” In San Francisco and New York you can find menu items such as buttered toast for $4. Yes. Maybe it is on high quality brioche, but still. I might sound like my grandma but I can almost get a loaf for that amount. In any case, bread, toast, what have you, it is my comfort food of choice as I ease into my third trimester.
I woke up early this morning unable to get comfortable. As far along as I am with my pregnancy, I have to sleep on my side, which I did at times before, but oh how I miss sleeping on my back when I want to! Between constantly getting up to pee, and then trying to get comfortable again amidst the pillows that surround me, it is no wonder I only get one hour increments of sleep at a time. Poor Chris — he usually wakes up every time I do, although he does not have to get out of bed, readjust, and hope his feet do not get cold in the process.
In any case, this morning I woke up way before it was time to get up and lay snuggled in with my pillows, knowing I should get up to pee, but not wanting to move. My mind started to wander and develop ideas for the day, and the first thought that came to me was: “When do we really get quiet enough to really think?” I know nothing ground breaking, but for me it was a bit of an aha moment. We often get up thinking about everything we need to accomplish in our day and laying in bed longer is cannibalizing the minutes needed to accomplish the many tasks set before us. Are we really thinking during that time though? Are we really pondering our life and wondering if are we going down the yellow brick road that is meant for us? Or do we know it so well, we do not question if it is the right one?
As we endeavor to move through our day, we go from deadline, to appointment, to other engagements, ending up at home with a list of items to accomplish, and if we decide to veg out, it is usually in a way that still does not allow us to be quiet. My hunch is that for most of us the deep quiet never comes. Instead we decide to put another load of laundry in, respond to that email, or organize what needs to happen for the next day, and if we are lucky, when our head hits the pillow we fall fast asleep after a good full day. Every once in a while we might be able to quiet our minds before falling asleep. If I had my choice, I would rather wake up with my thoughts quiet enough, as often when it happens as you fall asleep you never remember the quiet voice speaking to you.
I want to start bringing the quiet into my days — even if just for a few moments where I can check and adjust. I want to ask myself if I am going down the right road that day, and if I am, what do I need to do to be quiet at some point in my day. To truly listen and hear that quiet voice remind my why I am on this road, and what I need to do next.
After seeing my niece a week ago, I have to say I have baby on the brain. My good friend is also going to be a momma any day now. With all these precious munchkins on the mind this video just hit the spot for me. It brought tears the first time Chris showed it to me, and since then I continue to see it being shared all over different social networks. What is it about watching a belly grow over time, to inspire and remind us of the precious little one growing inside? I know, I know, some of you might think wow you sure have blogged about babies lately.
I am not sure if there are words to explain it. There was a connection with my niece a week ago, that has not left me. Maybe it is because it is my sister’s baby, but there is a love there that I cannot begin to explain. It makes me think how much stronger and how fierce will that love be when it is my little one that is welcomed to this world. I cannot yet imagine.
In the below video, the father, Tom Fletcher, who is the lead singer of British band “McFly” wrote the song “Something New.” His wife, Giovanna, was photographed each day while pregnant in the same outfit and they put it together in the below video.
I love the line: “I guess I’m ready, I think I’m ready, I hope I’m ready, for something new.” I think I might soon be ready for something new.
I do not even know where to start on this debate. If I were in a cartoon I would have fire coming out my ears, and fireworks coming out of my mouth. I would be censored left and right. I just am flabbergasted by this politician’s comments. Seriously? There must not be a woman in his life that has ever been raped. Either that or he just has no respect for women. If he did he would eat his words.
What I am talking about pertains to Republican Senate Nominee, Todd Akin. Akin discussed his opposition to abortion rights “even in case of rape with a claim that victims of ‘legitimate rape’ have unnamed biological defenses that prevent pregnancy.” This quote was from this article about the TV interview with Akin on Sunday. In his interview, Akin said the following:
“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
OMG. I am speechless. But only speechless because all of the words I want to say just are not nice. I am working on speaking up with clear, direct words, that are not @#$#%#$@$. The article states that rape is not “rare” and that “32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year.” Maybe Akin should go through a simulation of what it is like for a woman to be raped, and then tell him he has to carry the baby he is now pregnant with – oh yeah, and Akin, remember you never consented to the sex you have just been forced into.
Why do men and politicians feel that they have any say in what a woman does with her body? What woman should ever be forced to have a baby, after being raped? Then be reminded that they must have that man’s baby in their body for 9 months and then raise it? How is that bringing a child into this world with all the love, happiness, and consensual desire to raise a child? Maybe Akin would think differently if he had to grow a baby in his belly after nine months, and then raise it. BY. HIMSELF.
I would love for someone, anyone to tell me how to look at this from another view, because right now I am just livid. I cannot seem to find any silver lining in this debate at all. I really do not like to talk about politics at all, but this is more than politics. This a woman who has been forced to have sex against her will. Oh yeah, and in Akin’s words: “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Seriously? Akin, what part of the female body has a way to shut the whole damn thing down?
I just finished reading: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong. I could not stop saying: “Chris, Chris, I have to read this to you.” I might have to write about this book a few times because of just how blunt and hilarious Heather writes. Sometimes it is that potty humor that makes her funny, and sometimes it is in that I-relate-that-would-be-me kind of way.
In her book she takes you from trying to conceive, to her pregnancy, to the first 9 months of her baby girl’s life. She talks about her struggles with staying sane (literally) and what moms go through to not lose it. Maybe I can relate more right now because I am thinking so much about motherhood, but if you are a mother, or are thinking about taking that step, or just want a good laugh, then read on.
“An then, in what was one of the most memorable moments of the pregnancy, the ultrasound technician pointed to an unrecognizable shadow on the monitor and said, “See that cheeseburger? That means it’s a girl.” And then he circled her cheeseburger for emphasis. Jon had been holding my hand to give me strength to hold my pee, but right then he let go and cupped his tear-stained face, “You have a very important job,” he said, looking at me with the eyes I had fallen in love with. “You’re going to have to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.” Page 39
I love this. It just made me smile. The next excerpt I want to share has to do with breast-feeding and what it feels like for a woman to breast feed. Men, yes please keep reading. I think it is worth it for you to know her explanation. Not that you do not respect women for what they have to go through to breast feed a child, but her description I think will take your respect to a new level.
“The only way to describe it to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang it a couple hundred staples. The first two staples might hurt a little, but after that it just becomes numb, right? And by the eighty-eighth staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves again on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.” Page 83
I have more to share, but I think I will save it for another post. The other ideas are more for the soft side of parenting, but I thought I would first start with cheeseburgers and staples. Go. Read. Her. Book.