Breathe out the funk, bring on the laughter

Posted by random olio

I was taking a hot salt bath the other day, and closed my eyes and relaxed. Allowing myself to not think about the endless chatter happening in my head, I just soaked and, for the first time in a while, breathed. As I lay in the steaming hot water (I like it scalding) I realized it had been a long time since I had sat quietly and just noticed my own breathing. Yes, far too long. We should be taking moments each day to stop, be quiet, and notice the rhythm of our thoughts.

Things have felt a bit stressful lately, and then I realized there are 2 days left of February. How is that possible? Somehow throughout our crazy ass days life just keeps going on. The question I ask myself is: is it all worth it? Are we enjoying ourselves? Are we getting enough sleep, downtime, and moments (or hours) to be playful? Or is the grind dragging you down? I was feeling uninspired, and that there just is not enough time in the day. And then…

I watched Jimmy Fallon. I was a fan of his show before, and I love that he is now taking over The Tonight Show. He is clever, ingenuous, creative, and not afraid to do anything. You might be thinking: “what does Jimmy Fallon have to do with getting out of the funk?” I will explain. We were watching Jimmy interview and continuously laugh his ass off with Justin Timberlake, and I was transfixed. They were hilarious. They had so much fun, were playing off each other, and it was never in a way of one-upping the other, it was a complete partnership of fun, creative banter, and trying to make the other laugh. We could not stop laughing. I WANT THAT. I want to bring more of that into my life.

While I am not hosting The Tonight Show, I am pondering what I can do in my own life to let go of the funk, be more playful, fun to be around, creative, and try to make others laugh. Life is too short without laughing so hard you cry.

Nobody I would rather be with…

Posted by random olio

There are a few things I love in life. A great book, new ideas, learning something new about myself, chips, and while there are probably a ton of other things on my list, the one that tops them all is my husband. I never was a girl who dreamed of marrying, or had a wedding book, or even really gave a shit about the wedding, but what I think matters most is that I married my best friend, and he continues to be the best damn thing that ever happened to me.

So when I find a great book that talks about marriage, has a sassy rant throughout the book, and makes me appreciate my husband that much more, I call it good. I just finished a great book called: “The Longest Date: Life as a Wife” by Cindy Chupack. The cover might look cheesy, but let me tell you, Chupack was a writer on Sex and the City, and also writes for O Magazine (Oprah), that woman knows her stuff. She was able to peak our interest for many years (and how many of us wish that Sex and the City was still on the air)? I felt like she spoke right to me. She got me. She got marriage, and attempts into motherhood. She was flawed like we all are all the time. She spoke to my decade ago single self, she spoke to my married self, she spoke to my potential mother self. I think about this all the time pertaining to Chris:

“And I think now about how many of those nights we’ve had since, and how there is nobody I would rather talk to when I am feeling less than, nobody I would rather come home to after a hard day, and how wrong I was about you and us and what we could become. And unlike most people, I love being wrong. I love thinking I know the ending and then being surprised.” Page 33

I wholeheartedly agree. There is no one I would rather come home to than Chris, no one I would rather snuggle with when I have a rough day, feel sick, or just need to feel connected to him. No one I would rather talk about my day to (good or bad), and how clueless I was to how good life would be together. The only difference between me and Chupack: I do not love being wrong. I do not like surprises. Although I have felt I knew the ending and was then happily surprised, and sometimes that surprise is way better than we can ever imagine.

Read this book. It will make you smile. It will make you think about your marriage. If you are single or in a relationship you are not sure about, it will give you humorous clarity or levity. We only live once, life should be enjoyed. We should be pampered, and love every minute of spending time with our better half. They should inspire, encourage us, and elevate our game. So that we bring only goodness, joy, and happiness to those around us. So that the love we have with our better half pours out of us and we and those around us are never the same. Call me a sap, but how can I not be excited for the best date I have ever had?

Lean towards the positive

Posted by random olio

We all have had rotten days, that we thought would never get better, but sometimes we have to look at what we can learn in those moments, and on those days. We can look at those around us, our peers, friends, and family and sometimes we see folks who look like they have it all. We covet what they have, we want their life, we think they have it easier and that their life will make us happier. Yet, is that really true?

Recently I was catching up on my Daily Om newsletters and found this one “Making Life Yours” where this quote stood out to me:

“The individuals who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, love, success, and prosperity. Such people have, however, been blessed with the ability to take the circumstances they’ve been handed and make them into something great.”

After having lost both of my parents, I have had others ask me: “What a great loss. How do you get by?” There are definitely days when I struggle, usually when there is a big life moment, a birthday or a holiday, but mostly I have figured out how to move on, to continue to grow, learn, and be me. I have heard others that have lost folks in their life say “It is what they would have wanted, for me to move on.” While I cannot tell you if that is true, I can tell you that living my life to the fullest is the only way I know to cope, to take my circumstances and try to make it as great as can be.

I have had a full, roller coaster week. There have been ebbs of goodness, and moments of frustration. At the end of it all, I can honestly say how grateful I am for all the good I have in my life. I may work hard, I may want more sleep and time to myself, but I love the moments where I can connect with others, learn more about how they live and love, an in turn learn about myself. We each can do more, love more, and connect more. If we attempt to lean toward the positive, we are one step closer to bringing our circumstances from good to great to amazing.

Bring it on.

Nostalgia of Girl Scout Cookies

Posted by random olio

I will always have fond memories of being a Girl Scout. I was pondering the impact it had on my elementary school days as I waited for Chris to break into our box of Samoas. You should have seen my face on Monday when I received my boxes of Girl Scout cookies. A huge smile, and pride for what those girls are hopefully learning about themselves, leadership, competition, friendship, and service.

There is a lot I do not remember, but I have tiny morsels of events from being a Brownie (pre-Girl Scout) and then the years I was a Girl Scout. I remember some of the ceremonies we had, that we each had to take turns bringing in the treat for our meetings each week, earning merit badges, and even dad and daughter campouts. I remember learning how to make blueberry muffins on an open fire by baking it in an orange peel. I know, strange that I remember that so vividly. I remember events my troop went to, prizes we won, and even scary moments, such as driving back from an event and almost getting hit by a drunk driver (seconds from impact).

However, what I remember most, and what was my absolute favorite month of the year was selling Girl Scout cookies. I was a fanatic. I lived, breathed, and slept with the idea of selling those sugar filled treasures. I mean, like Christmas, they only come once a year. Each year I attempted to sell more than the year before. I competed against myself and my own goals, the other girls in my troop, and the other girls in my county. See, I was a poor girl, and selling cookies not only benefited and gave funds back to my troop, but it meant winning prizes (such as tickets to a large amusement park, a TV, and a 12 speed bike). All things that were not in my realm or remotely accessible to me. So I sold, I charmed, I conquered. Want to see me in action?

I recently read this Fast Company article: “Lessons from Inside the $800 Million Girl Scout Cookie Selling Empire.” I agree with their five points discussing selling cookies, leadership, and entrepreneurship. It taught me a lot about what is mentioned in the article: money management (it felt like a lot of money to deal with at the time), overcoming shyness (that was never really an issue for me), business ethics (I sold ever single box, no help from the parents), setting goals (whatever the biggest prize was), and group decisions (not something I remember much about).

A message to little Girl Scouts out there: Make sure you make the sale and exchange the cash. Having your parents do it for you teaches you nada. While I am not one to encourage sugar indulgence, it is definitely hard to resist. Especially when you are walking into the grocery store. Go buy a box, and maybe let that girl creatively get you to buy two, three, or ten more.

Valentine’s Day: Every Damn Day

Posted by random olio

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have something to say, yes, I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Aw hell I am not a poet, I cannot write poetry, and…

…I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It probably started back in younger years when our schools would do a Valentine’s Gram delivery of roses + candy, and you always wondered whether or not you would receive one, whether it was from a friend, or a boy. I have high expectations, just ask Chris. On our first Valentine’s Day (I cannot remember if it was while dating or our first married Valentine’s Day), Chris was traveling and sent me flowers. They were tulips and when I opened the box, the flowers were dead. It was not Chris’ fault, but I was livid. I remember being quite clear that he never “send” me flowers again. He has honored my request.

Why does it make me happy to not receive flowers on Valentine’s Day by my amazing husband? On that very first Valentine’s Day together, I very clearly remember discussing it with him and telling him how much I detest Hallmark holidays. I just am not a fan. Why should corporate America tell us when we should shop, spend money, and love on our loved ones? It is bullshit. EVERYDAY should be a day that we love and pamper our loved ones. It does not mean that we have to give gifts, in fact I am actually not interested in gifts. I care more about how we treat, care, and love each other every single day of the year.

So, Chris and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yes, we might make a fun dinner together, and spend time together, but we do that every night that we possibly can. Yes, call us sappy, but see I still feel like I am in my honeymoon phase. I get excited to see my husband at the end of the day, and can text him near the end of the day to ask “when can we leave so I can see you, and oh, what is for dinner.” We might not have a relationship that is like many others, and we do not yet have kids, but we are close, tight, and well-connected. There are days that I worry about what bringing kids into the mix will do to our marriage, and I know it will be different, tough, precious, and make us grow in different ways. I digress, I still completely dislike Valentine’s Day. Who wants to fight over a table at a restaurant and pay double the price for a meal just so you can say you took out your loved one on Valentine’s Day? Why not do that once a month, or week? Why not find different ways to keep that love alive regardless of it being February 14?

So I veto Valentine’s Day, instead I think every damn day is Valentine’s Day. Every day should be about doting, loving, and finding ways to make the world better for your loved one. Love them so damn much. Hug them hard, cuddle with them, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget to tell how them how much you love them EVERY DAMN DAY.