Why skip engaging?

Posted by random olio

Engagement is incredibly important to me. It matters in so many areas of life. Of course you can imagine that I will tell you that engagement matters in my marriage, you better believe it does! Focused conversation, feeling heard, and a give-and-take engaged conversation is what makes for a happy and successful marriage. Without that what is the point? I want to know that I am always paying attention and engaged in Chris’ life, that he is doing the same for me. When it becomes part of your every day, it is not hard, it becomes part of you.

Engaging with others also matters at work. Do you pay attention to your co-workers or employees? Do you listen and engage in their questions and ideas? Or do you come to a meeting with the decision already made and only bring them in so they think you care? When I read Seth Godin’s recent blog: “The hard work of understanding” I thought “Godin gets it right again.” The full excerpt of his post is here, (the bold lines for my own emphasis):

“Sometimes, we’re so eager to have an opinion that we skip the step of working to understand. Why is it the way it is? Why do they believe what they believe? We skip reading the whole thing, because it’s easier to jump to what we assume the writer meant. We skip engaging with customers and stakeholders because it’s quicker to assert we know what they want. We skip doing the math, examining the footnotes, recreating the experiment, because it might not turn out the way we need it to. We better hurry, because the firstest, loudest, angriest opinion might sway the crowd. And of course, it’s so much easier now, because we all own our own media companies.”

It makes me think that when we try to move through our lives so fast, we miss others along the way. We miss engaging with them, connecting with them, we miss understanding them. Instead of going through each day, each meeting, so fast, what if we focused, listened, connected, and engaged with others? I think it is doable, sometimes we just need to stop, breathe, and think about what experience we bring to those around us. Are you with me?

Is toast the new cupcake?

Posted by random olio

I continue to see articles about toast. Yes, that is what I said… toast! It is turning into the newest fad. $3, $5, $7 slices of thick toast. Some with cinnamon and sugar, others with jelly, or other savory toppings. It is locally made, and sliced thickly, and toasted to perfection. Much of my research shows that this new toast trend first popped up in the San Francisco area, but is starting to make its way across the country.

It is a funny thing when you think about it. Of all the crazes, cupcakes and cronuts, even locally made ice cream with crazy ingredients are all things that are a bit more complicated to make at home. Yet, toast, one of the easiest items to make in your kitchen is now a luxury item in bakeries, cafes, and restaurants. Maybe it is just a current fad and will not last.

An article on ABC states:

“The Mill’s offerings change often, but selections, priced up to $3.75 per slice, can be country bread with butter, maple syrup, powdered sugar and sea salt, or whole wheat bread with house made pumpkin butter. The trend has spread to Los Angeles, where Sqirl charges $7 for thick-cut local “burnt” brioche bread topped with house made ricotta and seasonal jam, and New York City, where The Smile offers buttered multigrain toast with local honey, raspberry jam or almond butter for $3.75.”

A group in San Francisco is even petitioning the mayor to get the cost of living under control, blaming the tech community for having the ability to purchase luxury items such as a piece of $7 toast. Wow, what is the world coming to these days? I am not saying I am against $7 toast, I think we should each decide for ourselves what we purchase. I am not one that would want to purchase a piece of $7 if I could purchase a whole loaf for that price. Call me cheap, or thrifty, I just think a bit more about the economy of things. If I did fork over $7 it better be a damn good piece of toast.

What do you think about the new toast craze?

Against all odds

Posted by random olio

We have been watching a lot of football lately. How can we not? College football championships, all the games leading up to the Super Bowl. There is a lot of testosterone in this house. So of course when I saw this ad for Duracell, an amazing but deaf professional football player, and perseverance I was inspired and had to share with you. Derrick Coleman plays for the Seattle Seahawks and was born deaf, was picked on, and was chosen last. Against all odds he became a professional fullback.

We have all had moments in our life when we were picked on and teased. We have all had moments when we were chosen last. Somehow we find out how to make it through, how to persevere. Coleman will encourage you to not give up. He will remind you that anything is possible. He may just bring a tear to your eye.

“A lot of fans are cheering me on, and I can hear them all.” Tears. Yes, I had tears for all our possibilities, for breaking down barriers, disregarding naysayers that tell us it is not possible, that we cannot do what we want. We can. Poo poo on those that tell us otherwise.

Hug it out, release, remember that you are loved.

Posted by random olio

I used to be an intense hugger. Well, I still am, but I used to be with lots of people, now I am a lot more selective. Maybe time and the world has made me less of a hugger, but I remember as a very small child that I would hug with a fierceness and not let go. I am not sure what that was all about, but I can visually remember being a hardcore hugger. What happened? Did I learn that I had to be careful who I hugged? Did I not get hugs in return? I am not completely sure, but I know something shifted in my life and I became more aware and cautious about my hugging. Part of it saddens me. Why?

A hug is a wonderful thing. It can completely change a moment. You can be angry with your spouse, disagree, and they can encompass you with their entire body into a hug and it can make all the anger and frustration melt and ooze out of your body. A hug can essentially heal a moment.

A hug can comfort you. Have you ever had a time when you had no idea that something was bugging you and a friend or family member could tell that you need a hug? The moment you are embraced, you melt. You start with shedding a tear, and the comfort and safe arms around you turns you into a blubbering mess. It has happened to me with close friends, family members, and co-workers. A hug can release the most pent-up issues in life.

A hug can make you feel loved. In my marriage I am a hugger (well, we both are). Yes, I can share with you that of course I love the passion of a kiss, but a hug comforts, supports, and shares something deep. It reminds you that you matter. A hug can ground you and reinforce just how much you are loved.

Hug it out, release, and remember that you are loved. Right now. Today.

Feedback vs. applause

Posted by random olio

When you find something that resonates and sticks you have to share it right? This Seth Godin blog just hit the nail on the head. I have been struggling lately with the idea of individuals needing to feel good about the work they are doing in a way that touts them rather than truly looking at the core of the work and see where things were good and where things could be improved. We ALL can do better at what we do. Nothing is ever perfect and there is always room for improvement. Yet, why do folks so often just want to have others tell them they are good? Should our own pride for our work be enough validation?

I can also say that I am not always the best about providing applause. I am better at providing feedback. Maybe that is because I always see opportunities for growth. I have to agree with Seth, if all you are looking for is applause, then where is the growth? I included his full blog post titled: “The feedback you’ve been waiting for” here:

“You did a great job. This is exactly what I was hoping for. I wouldn’t change a thing. You completely nailed it, it’s fabulous. Of course, that’s not feedback, really. It’s applause. Applause is great. We all need more of it.

But if you want to improve, you should actively seek feedback. And that feedback, if it’s more than just carping, will be constructive. It will clearly and generously lay out ways you can more effectively delight your customers and create a remarkable experience that leads to ever more customers.

If you’re afraid of that feedback, it’s probably not going to arrive as often as you’d like it to. On the other hand, if you embrace it as the gift it can be, you may decide to go looking for it.

Empty criticism and snark does no one any good. But genuine, useful, insightful feedback is a priceless gift.

Applause is good too.”

Maybe we all need to start asking for feedback rather than applause? We all learn more about ourselves in the process. It is the deeper, real way to go. Do not be afraid of feedback, if you are open you will find just the answers you need.