REI: No Black Friday

Yesterday I received an email from REI, with the subject line: “REI is Closing Black Friday.” Of course like so many people who received the email, my response was: “What, what, what?” It is a great marketing ploy and strategy. I immediately was curious and opened the email and read it out loud to Chris. My next thought was: “Did someone hack into their email server or is this legit?” Here is an excerpt of the email I received from REI:

“This Black Friday the co-op is doing something different. We’re closing all 143 of our stores. Instead of reporting to work, we’re paying our employees to do what we love most—be outside.

We want you, our members, to be the first to hear—not just what we’re doing, but why.
We’re passionate about bringing you great gear, but we’re even more passionate about the experiences it unlocks for all of us. Perhaps John Muir said it best back in 1901: “thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home.”

We think Black Friday is the perfect day to remind people of this essential truth.

And don’t worry, as a member you’ll still enjoy great deals on great gear all holiday season long. But on this one day, we’re going to #OptOutside and we want you to join us.”

From what I can tell, it is legitimate and I applaud REI for driving the point home so clearly – potentially at a loss of revenue. Maybe though — just maybe their members and frequent shoppers will find this admirable and not worry a bit that they will not be open. Of course their website will still transact orders. Why not have the deals happen the day after Black Friday? Why does it have to follow consumerism tradition and happen on Black Friday?

In any case, I hope it starts a new trend. I for one do whatever I can possible to stay away from ANY shopping on Black Friday. The only thing I would do is venture out to what Portland calls “Little Boxes” which supports small businesses. That is something I can support. It makes it even better that they want folks to be outside. Maybe other companies will join #OptOutside.

Other improvements to this year are companies that previously were open on Thanksgiving day are choosing to stay closed. Staples and GameStop will be closed this year as the companies want customers and employees to enjoy the holiday they way they want to celebrate it. There is even a group of individuals trying to get a local mall closed for Thanksgiving Day by way of a Change.org campaign.

We need to add more to that list!

Seriously, Krispy Kreme?

A few years ago, Chris and I used to live near a Krispy Kreme. It was literally down the street. I can remember a specific week when we both had overlapping bouts of the flu. During my turn, all I wanted was pumpkin spice donuts and a Slurpee from 7 Eleven. Strange, right? For some reason it was the only thing that sounded good. A sugar coma to get me through the flu.

Yesterday we were visiting a furniture store near Krispy Kreme, and being that I am very pregnant, it is fall, and I want all things pumpkin I asked Chris to stop by Krispy Kreme for pumpkin spice donuts. We go through the drive thru – thinking it is a simple order. We tell her my order of 2 donuts and Chris’ order of 2 donuts. Two times she repeats it incorrectly and we correct her. She tells us to go to the window. We drive up, and since we did not have cash, we pay with a credit card.

Chris gives me the receipt and I look and we’ve been charged for 6 donuts. Ugh. Somehow we knew this would happen when she could not get the order right at the intercom. Our credit card had already been charged. We tell them it was not what we ordered, and we only wanted the four donuts. She stands there and does not know what to do. I am exhausted, need a snack, and am ready to go home. Normally, I would not make a big deal out of it, but I do not want 6 donuts (because I know Chris won’t be able to resist eating them).

She goes and gets someone to help her and a guy comes to the window. He says: “I do not know how to refund your order.” He then says, “Can I give you a latte instead?” I lose it. I already had a coffee and it is visible in my cup holder. I say, “No I do not want a latte, I want my four donuts and I want to pay for only four. How hard it is to put a refund through?” Chris then says, “How about you just give me the difference in cash?” The guys says: “Okay, that would be $1.60.”

Why, oh, why does the customer have to tell the cashier “how” to give a refund? I still am not convinced (not that I ultimately really care) that we actually got back what we should have back. The receipt said:

1 ASST 1/2 DZ
$6.95

Then at the bottom says: Combo donuts – $1.15. No where does it say the cost of the actual donut. I think because they charged for 1/2 dozen there might have been a deal and the guy had no idea how to break it apart? Or, here is a thought. Refund the original order and ring it up as it should have been? Wow. No brainer right?

In the end, all could have been avoided if she just read the order to us prior to taking our card and swiping it.

Haters gonna hate.

Of course being 7.5 months pregnant I think often about how I want to raise my son. A few weeks ago we were out to breakfast and saw a mom pick up their child and then watched as the child began to smack, hit, and just go crazy on the mom. I was shocked. Of course I said to Chris “Our child will never act like that.” And — I meant it. First of all, if my kid acts out I will take them outside. I do not care if it is rainy or beautiful out, I would want to take them out of the situation and discuss further. It might even mean making the choice to leave the restaurant. There is absolutely no reason to watch a child loose control and beat the crap out of his mom. Something is not right in that scenario. Those of you who are already parents think I might live in a dream world, but let me tell you, my father might have scared the crap out of me, but I knew how to behave.

So that little rant was about the kids misbehaving, but what about parents? I just read an article about a dad who was mocked for his son loving a custom play kitchen. Now, I will tell you I have not discussed this with Chris, and so he might not agree with me — but I would love for my son to have a play kitchen. Why you might ask? Chris is the chef in our family and he is a damn good one. He does not look at it as the wife’s job. He looks at it as art. He loves his time in the kitchen and from the taste of a dish, to trying something different, right down to how he displays the final product on a plate. Now that does not mean there are nights that it does not feel laborious to him, but he loves his kitchen and I stay out of the way. Why would I do anything to keep my son away from that? Why would he spend his childhood watching his father in the kitchen (and hopefully interested enough to want to join him) and then tell him he cannot have his own play kitchen?

What has this world come to? Cooking is an art and it is not just for women. If I was the one in the kitchen we would eat like crap — just ask Chris. I have no patience, I cannot time things right, and really have no interest. Chris has the patience, loves it, and I know he will have the patience to teach our son as well. My job will be teaching him how to bake. Yes, I will.

I loved this comment from the dad in the article:

“As far as my comment on if he wants to play with a barbie doll…again, let me stress this. HE IS 2. I have seen him get excited and play with a broom. Ya’ll need to chill. Kids are going to play with what they want, and if you try to prevent them from doing something as harmless as playing with the toy they want to play with, they are going to end up resenting you.”

So damn true. Let them play with what inspires them. I would much rather my son paint, get dirty, play in the kitchen and use his mind then be mesmerized behind a video game and develop no social skills whatsoever.

What do you think?

I grew up poor and I appreciate it now.

I have a different perspective on life than some. For those of you that have met me in the last few years, you might have seen material possessions and made certain assumptions about my “financial” life. Chris and I are minimalists, and we select each and every purchase we make with care. We want to love each item, we want it to have a purpose, and it be something that inspires us (whether from its beauty, or how it fits together with everything else).

I did not always have the option to be so selective… or selective at all. Chris and I have worked very hard for each thing we have brought into our lives, whether it meant saving for something for years or just deciding to not have something until we could afford what we really wanted. I can remember when we first moved to Portland we did not have the money to buy furniture. Chris was looking for a job and the work I was doing was just paying our rent. We could have gone to Goodwill, or looked for something used on Craigslist, instead we purchased inflatable chairs (yes, you read that right). We used them until a family visiting us in the winter got them to close to our heat vent and bye-bye went the chairs. We finally decided to purchase a couch, but even then it was the one we felt was the most “us” and within the means we had at the time.

How did we become so frugal and so aware of our choices? I grew up poor. I watched my parents struggle to have enough cash to put food on the table. It was before credit cards (and even when they did exist my parents did not have the credit to have their own credit cards). What did you do to survive without credit cards? You had to be able to have enough liquid cash in the bank, or put things on layaway. My mom started Christmas shopping for the few items we did receive (which got smaller and smaller as we got older) in July. She would purchase the items and put them on layaway until they were paid off. The hard part? You cannot purchase food on a layaway plan. You cannot pay the electric or water bills via layaway.

Growing up poor taught me to focus on what matters and what is important and once that is handled you can then think about the perks and pleasures. Until then, we should not be splurging and spending when we do not have the means to handle the necessities. I often wonder what individuals would do these days with out access to credit cards. Imagine living for one year paying with what you have in the bank — no plastic. Everything is paid off each month, or paid up front with cash. What percentage of our country could do it?

Overall, being poor taught me to appreciate everything I have, to remember what it takes to keep it, and how easy it is to make bad choices and live way beyond our means. The funny thing is, even though we have been so selective and love everything we have, if it all disappeared today we’d be just fine without it. We’d just start over tomorrow. Together.

Removing toxic energy

From time to time we find there might be people in our life that bring toxic energy. When that happens we usually know and feel it, but sometimes what is the hardest is removing those individuals and their toxic energy from our life entirely. You might think — well, why is it so hard? For a few reasons. They might be a family member or co-worker, they might be a neighbor, or a long time friend. Yes, it might be a lot easier said then done. However, when we are able to make the choice to remove them from our life, the way forward can sometimes be very easy and, when it’s done, we feel free.

That is the easy part. What do we do with those we cannot remove, but yet leave the toxic dust in their wake? A recent Daily Om titled: “Taking on the Energy of Others” discusses how to cope with people toxic people or those that drain us:

“Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy.”

Later is says discuss how to protect oneself:

“There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you.”

Sometimes that is easier said then done. However, if you take it one day at time, one conversation at a time, it gets easier. I know I can work on it, as there are days when it is easier to vent about a frustrating conversation, or to complain about that person that makes our life miserable. What if we just did not let it bother us? If we let the toxicity roll off of us, like water on a car that has just been waxed? Easy? No. Doable, yes.

I am going to go find some wax to work on my shield.