Strength, Courage, and Resilience

Posted by random olio

A few days ago I finished reading a book that just came out: “Bend, Not Break” by Ping Fu. It is about a woman who grew up during the Cultural Revolution in China, raised herself from the age of eight (as well as her four-year old sister), was later forced to leave China, went on to start a 3D rendering company, Geomagic, and has invented amazing technology that continues to evolve at a rapid pace.

I was fascinated by her story, the perseverance she showed in life, to come from terrible circumstances and educate herself, and go on to create software products that impact the lives of so many. We do not even realize the impact Fu’s products have had on us. She created the software technology that makes Invisalign, can scan a plane to determine what issues it might have, can create replica’s of the Statue of Liberty in case it needs to be rebuilt. The list goes on, and I encourage you to read her book to learn more about Geomagic. I was fascinated.

Her life story has inspired me to realize that we can always do more. With each hurdle in her personal or professional life, she creatively found a way to get through it all. It might not have been the right way from the perspective of those around her, but they were her decisions and choices. I love an idea that Fu shared called “Three Friends of Winter.” It is often found in art in China. She speaks of this idea a few times throughout her book. It was told to her by her Shanghai Papa (more details about him when you read her memoir). This is a stream of a conversation with Fu and Shanghai Papa (I have put all the ideas together to make the conversation shorter):

“There are three friends of winter: the pine tree, the plum blossom, and bamboo. Pine trees are strong. They remain happy and green throughout the year. In the unbearable heat of summer and the severe cold of winter, they stand unperturbed. The crimson petals of the plum blossom gleam brilliantly against the white snow. The ability to bloom in the midst of misfortune suggests dignity and forbearance under harsh circumstances. Bamboo is flexible, bending with the wind but never breaking, capable of adapting to any circumstance. It suggests resilience, meaning that we have the ability to bounce back from even the most difficult times.” page 10

So the pine tree, plum blossom, and bamboo are reminders to us about staying strong, courageous, and resilient. Thank you Fu for sharing your strength and life story.

The Jeep that made me weep

Posted by random olio

Where was the WOW factor? Maybe I am getting old, but the ads during the Super Bowl just do not have the creativity that I remember watching when I was younger. Most of the ads were boring, not funny, and had no element of surprise. Mostly they were for cars, movies, and CBS.

Yet, there was one ad that made me stop and watch. You first hear Oprah doing a voice over. We all know her voice. We hear it and instantly listen. The voice of a storyteller. You know at the beginning that the ad is in gratitude for those in the military serving our country. I was enraptured as I envisioned those in my life that have served our country and those that I do not know that are in some far off place risking their life to make sure mine is safe. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the only ad that made me stop and watch completely.

And then I saw the Jeep. I was bummed.

I wish we could have a tribute air during the Super Bowl and not be selling anything. Where we can commend and appreciate the service men and women and not find at the end that it was paid for by a car company. It makes me feel different about my tears, when it is more about Jeep wanting me to buy their car. It would be great if we could just appreciate, and not have to question who paid for that appreciation? In any case, if you missed the Jeep ad, be sure to take a look below, and take a moment to appreciate those serving our country.

A little girl and her Doritos…

Posted by random olio

Last week I came across this Doritos Super Bowl Contest, where fans can make their own ads. The Fast Company article was specifically discussing a video that had a goat screaming. It was good, but then I started looking at the other finalists in the competition. That is when I found this one:

That is one clever little girl. Check out the four other finalists and vote too!

Who are you rooting for on Super Bowl Sunday?

My marriage secret: 51/49

Posted by random olio

If you are married, you will probably understand what I am about to tell you. You know that Sunday afternoon when it is slightly cold out, but it is past time to clear the leaves out of the gutters? When you ask your husband if maybe this is the day to clean them out, and they look at you with raised eyebrows because they know it is:

a) a good day for it

b) past time for it to be done

c) they do not want to get on the roof and clean the gutters

d) they know you are right

You say to your husband: “51/49” which equates to: time to clean the gutters.

You might ask: What is this 51/49? Chris and I have a little mantra for our marriage that we joke about together. “51/49” is what we call it. Basically the short and dirty of it is that I have 51% say and he has 49% say in decisions. I know what you are thinking. Either: “That is not fair” or “Wow, lucky woman.” Whatever you are thinking, save it. It works for us. Chris has always had the idea in his mind: “Happy wife; happy life.” You can guess correctly that I like it. I have the most wonderful husband (I already know I do so you do not have to tell me).

You may ask why I am telling you this – especially when I have also just told you that he only gets 49% say. Well, in the end 51/49 is our inside joke. It is our decision-making motto. Yes, there are many decisions that we make together. Definitely the big ones, buying a house, moving to a different city, making large purchases, you know the drill. Yet, on the day-to-day level, I often plot out the plan for our life. I carve out what is next, make a plan, and divvy up the details for us both to execute. Partly because I am on point for driving us forward with those plans, I often use 51/49 to make sure things happen. If we are torn about where to have dinner and I have a strong opinion, I might mention 51/49. With a grin on his face, and the knowledge that it is our little joke, Chris might lean my way. Or, he might decide to bring his own plan to the mix and test my 51/49. Yes, it is fun, and yes, it has proven very effective in our marriage.

51/49 is also a reminder to us to take good care of each other. I try just as hard to look out for and pamper Chris as he does for me. We do it in different ways, but we love to find ways to make sure we both share in living a happy life together.

I grew up in a family where my father made the decisions (whether right, smart, wrong, or not thought through), while my mom did almost everything in the house. It was always evident to me that my dad made the decisions. It was his way or the highway. I knew I never wanted to be in that kind of marriage. First, I am too strong-willed. Second, I wanted to be in a relationship where we shared and made decisions together. 51/49 works for us.

What do you think of our marriage secret?

Get Your Shit Together

Posted by random olio

I am impressed. Trust me, it takes a lot to impress me. I have found a website about money, insurance, living wills, and other life planning needs that I will be able to remember for many years to come. It has a ring to it, and if I am talking to a friend or colleague, I will not have to rack my brain to remember their URL. Ready for it?

getyourshittogether.org

Clever right? They focus on creating a will, a living will, setting up your insurance…the list goes on. The creator of the site, Chanel Reynolds, lost her husband last summer when he was hit while on a bike ride. She spent months recreating her financial life, then decided to start her website (which just went live this month) to help others get their shit together.

While no one in my family was hit by a bike, I can relate to Chanel because of my own life experiences, all of which have made me passionate about these issues. When both of my parents passed on (I was 16 and 21), they had no life insurance, no health insurance, no living will, or will. When my mom passed on I was 16, which means I was still a minor. At the time, if my father did not take custody of me there was a possibility that I would have been taken under the care of the state. Did my parents ever think or plan for such occurrence? Probably not. If they had then there would have been documentation of what would happen to me. I like to think they would have done the due diligence to make sure that was in place, but it was not. Not a fun way to mourn.

At each point in my life when my parents passed on, my siblings and I had to come up with money to pay for both of my parent’s funerals, as well as incur different expenses to travel to and from their respective homes (they were divorced by then) to deal with any remaining possessions, most of which went to Goodwill. Rather than have the opportunity to grieve, we had to act fast, plan the cheapest funeral, and go through their possessions as quickly as possible in order to not have to continue to pay their rent and other expenses.

A will, life insurance, and directions on what arrangements they wanted at their death would have helped my brother, sister, me to have the option to be present in losing our parents at such a young age. Instead we had to make difficult choices very quickly during highly emotional times. I do not want to put my future children in that situation. It is important to take the time to legally document your financial and legal choices for your affairs. Once you have it documented, take the time to discuss with the necessary individuals (whether your children or siblings, etc.) so they understand your wishes. I can tell you from experience if you do not have those conversations now, it can cause riffs in a family during an already emotionally charged time.

Due to the situation I was in, I strongly encourage anyone with kids to take the time and proper steps to “get your shit together.” Do it for your spouse. Do it for your kids. Do it for your parents. Yes, it is morbid to talk about the “what-ifs” if you were to die. It is not fun, but it is reality. Take the time to have the hard conversations with your spouse and get your shit together.