Farting, freezing, and hand sanitizer

Posted by random olio

My flight was uneventful last night while flying back from California. A good smooth flight, but you know when you fly in a puddle jumper life is just a bit different in the friendly skies. Over the course of the 1+ hour flight someone (whether they were aware of it or not) could not stop breaking wind. As stated in my post last summer, about Farting on an Airplane, I know it is not always something individuals can control, but this was out of hand. Here is the list of things that came to me while making my trip back to Portland:

Overhead bin is so small, it is like a glove compartment
Someone keeps farting
The guy next to me has a cell phone with a revving motorcycle ringtone going off throughout flight
It is freezing, not above me through the vents, but around my ankles and no blankets on board
The person behind me keeps kneeing my back
Someone farted again
The guy next to me across the aisle will not shut up
The bathroom is so small, there is no sink, and they just leave hand sanitizer out for you
When the person coming out of the bathroom grabs my headrest as they walk by and I think now I do not want to put my head of hair on the headrest, because all I can think is, “Did they use the hand sanitizer?”
Someone farted again
I wonder when they last wiped the tray table down and the seats themselves
We arrive at our destination a half hour early only to stand while they take 20 minutes to figure out how to get the ramp to connect to the door
Someone farted again

Have you had enough?

Check out my divot

Posted by random olio

My grandma loved watching golf. She would watch it most Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Over the many years I spent time with her, and eventually lived with her off and on, I learned quite a bit about golf rules. Somehow though I never played golf. I have been to driving ranges, and played my fair share of putt-putt, but a full round of golf has never happened in my life.

Last Friday I went golfing for the first time. Yes, can you believe it? I had an absolute blast, and so far I might be a new convert. It started out as a gorgeous afternoon and 70 degrees at the beginning of May, what Portlander would not be stoked to be outside? As you can tell by this picture, the sun eventually hid behind the clouds and it cooled off a bit. Still a perfect day for a nine holes of golf. I was with colleagues who were patient and taught me some of the basics (of course so many more things to learn). I now understand a bit more about an iron, driver, and a putter, and I think I quasi know when to use each club.

I even had one or two initial drives down the green. As you can see by the photo of me, not all swings were successful. Actually on most holes I tee’d off quite a few times before I actually hit the ball. The photo shows during that swing that I took quite a bit of earth, aka a large divot. Notice the chunk of mud/grass sitting on my ball. Yes, I may have no idea what I am doing, but at least I played with all power and zest. By the way, do not ask me how many different balls I used (and lost) in the course of nine holes.

I will definitely be visiting the driving range to practice, and would love to venture back this summer. Bring on the sunny days so I can see if the excitement is a short-lived adventure or if it is my new summertime exploration.

Any golf pointers for me?

What if you became invisible?

Posted by random olio

I am not going to lie, I shed a tear. Well a few throughout this video. It hits your emotional core. It makes you think what if that were me? Well at least that is what I thought. See I remember a time as a kid when we almost became homeless. My mom was sick and did not have a job, our house was foreclosed on, and we did not know what would happen next. In the end we never lived on the streets, or in a homeless shelter. My sister stayed with a family friend, my mom went into a nursing home, and I stayed with my grandma. So we were split up, but we had a place to live. I am saying all this because I should have compassion for the homeless, and yet I walk on by like many do.

Which maybe is why this video had such an emotional twist for me. It is a video I found on Fast Company about how we usually walk by the homeless. I have to admit with the magnitude of homeless individuals we have in Portland it is easy to walk by without noticing. Maybe it is because you never know if you can trust whether or not the panhandling is legitimate or not. This video, however, makes you look at it in a different way.

First, a bit of context. The New York City Recuse Mission set out to show folks the invisibility of homeless in New York. They approached a few individuals to pose as homeless people and then had them on the street as their family walked down that same street. Their family each walked by without recognizing them. It was all caught on video, and the family was later shown how they walk right past their loved ones. It is all part of their campaign: “Have the Homeless Become Invisible?” I love the idea. I could use my own waking up on interacting with the homeless in Portland.

What did you think? Any change of thought? A bit of a mind shift? What if that was you?

Boston STRONG

Posted by random olio

It is Boston Marathon day. My heart is always with the runners on Marathon day. I lived in Boston for a few years, and the company I worked for always gave us the day off. The marathon falls on Patriots Day which is a holiday in Massachusetts. So for many years I ventured out to watch runners kick butt in rain or sun on that April Monday. There is a place in my heart for runners, and for the Boston Marathon. Even from across the country, I will be watching and cheering runners on.

This year it is even more heartfelt to think of all those runners that will run in Boston. After what happened last year, this year’s marathon is that much more meaningful. In some ways I feel like there was never resolution for why those boys did what they did last year. They brought fear to so many individuals, and to such an iconic event. Yet, runners are not swayed. They come out each year regardless of the challenge. Runners are resilient. Everyone that runs today is a hero, is fearless, and stands strong that competition is alive, and that no one, yes, no one can stand in the way of the Boston Marathon.

A friend alerted me last Sunday that Shalane Flanagan (a local Portlander) was on 60 Minutes last Sunday. I quickly DVRed it, and was able to catch her interview. Shalane got fourth in last year’s Boston Marathon. This year she is going for first place. I will be cheering her on. For those of you that are runners, I saw this come up in my Facebook feed over the weekend from “Nike Running”

“Run with the Nike+ Running App and tag #strongereveryrun in the notes. We’ll give $1 for every mile you run to the Challenged Athletes Foundation.”

What a cool idea. I will make sure my run today is documented in my NIke+ Running app. I will be running for those that we lost last year, and those that were injured. I will be running for those that are pushing it through the Boston Marathon this year. Join me. It is a day of redemption, it is a day of triumph, it is a day to run.

#BostonStrong

“Human Bandwidth Manager”

Posted by random olio

I am not sure how many of you watch Portlandia (if you do not you are missing out). Okay, honestly not every episode is amazing, but some are very clever. I compare it to a skit in an episode of Saturday Night Live. Some are winners and hilarious and others are horrible. The same goes for Portlandia. One recent episode had a sketch about our digital footprint.

Carrie Brownstein feels completely overwhelmed by all the emails, Facebook messages, texts, likes, etc that she gets all day. She decides to declare social bankruptcy. She goes into a bank to file papers to remove all of her online profiles. The guy on the other side of the desk (Kumail Nanjiani) basically tells her that everything will be deleted (Twitter followers, voicemail, her ‘social’ debt, etc). She signs the papers, and her social identity no longer exists. Her own friends do not even recognize or remember her. Is that what our world has become? We are only known through who we are on Instagram or Facebook? The man even has a nameplate on his desk that says: “Human Bandwidth Manager.” Clever. Rather than tell you what happens you can go online and watch it here.

It made me start to think as I have those days where I cannot imagine reading another email, opening another text, checking Facebook, because it all just feels too much. We have either embarked or wished we had the self control to take a day or a week away from social media. You hear folks all the time say they are going to detox from their smart phone or social networks. There are even three pages of articles on The Huffington Post just on “Social Media Addiction” and that is just one website.

I can attest that I at times am addicted. I blog, I Facebook (wow I just used it as a verb), I email, text, and quasi Instagram and sometimes tweet. I also enjoy my time away. I love syncing my emails and seeing nothing new (it makes the world feel quiet). Yet, are we so saturated that individuals have to go on a social detox, or maybe a social identity crisis? While Portlandia was making fun, will “Human Bandwidth Manager” be a job of the future?

What do you think?