You + Me

Posted by random olio

We are sitting in the kitchen, finishing lunch. Chris has Spotify on while making lunch and we continued to listen as we finished the last bites of some amazing steamed and roasted veggies. A song came on and my eyes opened a bit wider. I have been in a bit of a music rut, and while we always have Spotify playing in the speaker in the house, it is rare that I get up to find out who someone might be. This time though I ask Chris to email me who it is. He tells me the artists are called: “You + Me.” Interesting name, and like I often fashion my handwriting e.e. cummings style, I also have a thing for + signs between words, oh and ellipses, and um ampersands.

In any case, as we finish our veggierama meal, we need to get dressed to head out to a friend’s house and as the song winds down, I say: “I really love her voice, she sounds a lot like Pink.” We get dressed, head out, and come home late and fall into bed. The next morning I look at the email Chris sent and am reminded of the song I liked so much and decide to research the band. The singer that sounded like Pink? It is Pink. Alecia Moore aka Pink teamed up with Dallas Green (love that name), a Canadian from the band City and Colour, with an acoustic album that came out in October 2014 called: rose ave (maybe they were channelling e.e. cummings)?

The song I heard via Spotify was called: “You and Me.” And in my normal relentless style, I proceed to listen to their entire album. I am hooked and wanted to share. Their other popular song is called: “Break the Cycle.” The few videos I found online show Pink entirely clothed. That seems to be quite a different trend for her. I am used to seeing her with barely anything on hanging and twirling down from the ceiling. Regardless of what she is wearing Pink is a badass. It reminds me of that actor/actress that you see in many different genres and they never play the same character. Each time they act they show you a different side of them, a reminder of their true talent.

As I listen to You + Me, I feel like I am on a farm, sitting on a southern porch swing, watching the wind blow. I am relaxed, and I feel at home.

random olio 2014

Posted by random olio

It has been a full year. I traveled to Shanghai, Chicago, Oakland a few times, to LA, Bend, oh the list goes on. I went to a few weddings, luckily no funerals. I worked countless hours in the office, and at home on my couch. I visited my niece, Facetimed with her and my sister, and missed them in between. We saw family, friends, and played on our own a bit in other parts of the country and the world. I went No Poo in 2014, and then started using loo poo shampoo and wash my hair a lot less often.

We tried new things, thought about the past, and planned and brainstormed the future. We laughed, cuddled, giggled, listened, gave advice, learned a lot, and cherished each other more. Like I said, it was a full year. Here is my list of favorite random olio posts of 2014. In no specific oder:

Should or Must?

Posted by random olio

We are constantly, moment by moment, being bombarded with decisions to make. Should I do that? What will happen if I say yes? What will happen if I say no? If I am direct, will he walk away? If I say what is on my mind, will I piss her off? What will my team think? I can completely understand what happens to folks when they fall into decision anxiety. Every once in a while my brain is completely fried and I have had a day of making decisions and I will say to Chris: “I am not making any decisions tonight, or this weekend.” He loves it (not really). Each decision tends to be either an easy one, or it is full of questions. Should I? Must I?

I just came across this article on medium.com titled: “The Crossroads of Should and Must.” It is quite lengthy for those of you with ADD, but so worth it. There are even sketches to help you along.

“Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s our instincts, our cravings and longings, the things and places and ideas we burn for, the intuition that swells up from somewhere deep inside of us. Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our calling from within, from some luminous, mysterious place.”

I love this idea of “must” being who we are to the fullest. Our core. How often and how easy it can be to succumb to someone else’s opinion. The friend that tells you that he is just not that into you. The colleague that tells you what you are trying to accomplish is not possible. The family member that is scared to see you take the risk. There have been many “musts” in my life and I felt them to my core. They were decisions that upon all rationality those watching would have thought I was crazy, but it was the exact decision I needed to make.

As we embark on 2015, I am going to think more about my decisions and how I feel about should vs. must. Join me?

My right relationship

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about relationships. The ebb and flow of the romantic relationships in our life. Men and women are so different. We often really are from different planets. Recently Chris and I have disagreed about different topics and the key component of our disagreements have been around listening.

Listening. Such an interesting aspect of relationships. In the end all we really want is to be heard. We want others to listen to us and most of all we want to be understood. The rare occasions that Chris and I fight and bicker usually results to being heard, trusted, and listening. Kind of a no-brainer really. Who does not want to feel like they matter and the person they love and care about most is there for them?

I recently found this article: 15 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship – my favorites:

You are all in.
You stop hiding your flaws.
Sometimes, you don’t communicate at all.
You maintain your identities.
No conversation topic is taboo.

There are ten other great signs, but those are the ones that stand out to me most. Chris will tell you, when I am all in, I am all in. Step aside because when I get something in my mind and decide to do it, there is no stopping me. I am not a quitter. It is a strength and a weakness, but hey, we all have flaws. We all fart and burp, puke and stink. We are gloriously flawed. And since I am an open book, he always knows what I am thinking unless I am deep in process/thought mode, but even then I am usually discussing my thoughts with him. Nothing is off-limits. However, it does not mean we talk about every single thing. There are things that happen in the quiet and stillness of being together and doing our own thing.

In the end, and what matters most is that we stay true to who we are. I am an all in, flawed, say-what-is-on-my-mind, badass woman. He has the unique and special opportunity of waking up next to me everyday.

#myrightrelationship

Wounded Warriors: Hallelujah

Posted by random olio

Hallelujah. Most renditions of this song give me the chills. I have always loved the Leonard Cohen song done by Jeff Buckley (at any time of year) but there is something around Christmas time that makes the music get under my skin, crawl through my emotions, and often bring tears to my eyes. Last year I came across this version from: Cloverton and this past week I found this one from “Wounded Warriors.”

There is something even more gut wrenching about watching those that have fought for our freedom, have been wounded, and singing such a beautiful song of praise. It makes me think about all the good I have in my life. So much goodness. Now, savor all the good you have with those you love, those that you fear, and those that you dislike. Take this holiday time to slow down, be more present, laugh, eat, play, and think Hallelujah. (Mental note: take my own advice).