What to wear today?

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have those days when you cannot decide what to wear? Of course you do, we all have them. Even men have them. Although I have a hunch that women have them much more often. Most likely it is our hormones. I cannot tell you how often in the past I ended up on the floor of the closest in tears (and trust me I rarely cry) because nothing fit, or nothing felt right on my body that day.

My usual instinct is to always be comfortable. Presentable, but comfortable. What makes things more complicated is when I have to do a presentation, whether in front of a larger group of people, or a group of leaders. It makes me think that much more about being comfortable while also presentable. I occasionally miss the years of my life when I worked from home and my only “clothing” mission of the day was that I take a shower before Chris came home from work. I could at times go days before ever leaving the house. I do not have that luxury anymore. Each day is a new day with all of its newness, oldness, and everything in between.

When I came across this photo on Pinterest, I thought “oh man that is so me.” On those days when I have to give a presentation and all I want to do is be ever so cozy, and yet I cannot be. Instead, I need to be a bit more put together. I need to be more aware of how what I wear does not distract from the ideas I am sharing or the strategy I may be rolling out. In the end, dress, clothes, and what we wear matters. That does not mean that I believe that you have to dress up, but what you put together and how you present yourself matters.

Does it matter for men in the same way? Yes and no. In many ways I have seen it first hand where a guy can wear a t-shirt and jeans and it not matter if he looks less “put together” and yet if a woman wore it in the same situation she would be considered dressed down. Not fair, but at the moment it is the state of things.

Embrace the days where you sit on the floor of your closet. See if you can find something that can express who you are supposed to be today, who you are, and who you want to be.

Are you a D or a G?

Posted by random olio

Yesterday at work a few of us lady folks somehow got to talking about bras and breasts. I find it always to be a fascinating conversation (I am sure some men might find it fascinating too, but in different ways). One of the main reasons I find talking about bras, breasts, boobs, breast reductions, breast increases so interesting is that we all come in different shapes and sizes and we all have such different and rich experiences from puberty to adulthood.

AND…I believe that most of us are not wearing the right sized bra. How can we really know with sub par service and support? I have two places in Portland that have real knowledge about bras: Nordstrom and a local bra store that cater to women who are pregnant or breast-feeding, women who have had a mastectomy, or women that have a strange size (28D to 56K) – yes those sizes really do exist. Most department stores like Macy’s do not carry the correct bra size, and even Nordstrom at times has had to order my size.

A C cup size was average when I was growing up, and anything larger meant you had big boobs. I can remember a few years ago watching an episode of Oprah dedicated to bra makeovers. Here is a photo gallery + explanation of some good examples. So often we are wearing a band size that is way to large and we sag way more than necessary. A 34D might better fit as a 32E or F (depending on if the bra is a European bra). Just as this Empowher article says:

“D is small, G is average, N is off the charts, so if you think you are a D, you are probably a G. Most DD’s end up as a G or H cup when fits properly.”

The article also mentions that only 15% of all women are wearing their bra correctly. I am part of that small minority. I would pay good money to have a bra that feels invisible, is comfortable, does not hurt my back, and is not atrociously ugly. Often the ones that are attractive are also not supportive. More and more there are boutique shops that are popping up and carrying more accurate sizing. There is chain of stores called “Intimacy” that assist with bra fitting, however we do not have one in Portland. It is a good name for a bra store, as it is an intimate experience to have someone measuring + sizing your wobbly top half.

So, do you know if you are wearing a D but really should be sporting a G?

Giving away power

Posted by random olio

I was always a hugger. I can remember at church on Sunday’s when I would see all the older women. I knew they had life savers in their purses, and I would charm them, give them a hug, and hope they would share their Lifesavers with me. See I never had much candy growing up, so Lifesavers were a bright light (especially after a church service).

In any case, I was never forced to give a hug to the older ladies at church. It was my choice. I have no idea what it would have been like for me if I was forced to hug them. This Daily Om titled: “Repressing the Inner Voice” talks about giving away our power. When we are forced to hug family members against our will. It will make me that much more aware when I have kids of my own, and make sure I do not put them in situations where they might not want to share a hug with another individual.

I know as I have gotten older, I am definitely aware of when I want to share myself with another. I am probably entirely more open with love and hugs than I was when I was younger, but it is still my choice. Kids are often in positions where they do not have a choice, and parents need to make sure they are listening when their kids voice their opinion that they are not comfortable. This is such a great end to this Daily Om:

“All we have to do is have the confidence to listen to our own voice and let it guide us as we make our own decisions in life and remember the necessity for balance.”

Balance? Yes. That seems to be an ever occurring reminder in my life. Balance. Balance. Balance. Be sure that you are not giving away your power and that you are not putting others in a position of giving away their power.

“You get what you believe.”

Posted by random olio

Sometimes Oprah just nails it. I saw this quote from Oprah and Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook over the weekend. There was one of her big mega events in New Jersey and author Elizabeth Gilbert joined her for the event. Oprah said:

“YOU DON”T GET WHAT YOU WISH FOR; YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE.”

Wow. That really made me think: Do I wish for things, or do I believe in them? Then my mind goes in a few ways. See, I have had a lot of anxiety going through my thoughts these last few days. I have had this flu bug thing for literally an entire week and when you get slow and spend a lot of time on the couch, your brain slows down. For me that means I think about each and every little thing, but in slow motion. All the events happening in the next few weeks, and all the things I have to do for those events. Both in my professional and personal life. Let me just say that it is a lot. To get it off my chest, I shared the list with Chris on Saturday night. In between blowing my nose, coughing, and snuggling into my pillow and blanket.

My mind then wonders — if you get what you believe does that mean that you think something bad could happen, then it will? Or is this just specific to good things? While I do not have an answer to that question, Elizabeth Gilbert later shared this on the same Facebook thread:

“Lay your wishes aside for a spell, and look deep into what you believe about yourself. Make sure your beliefs about your own life are anchored in greatness, in holiness, in worth, in grace, in joy, in excitement —in internal certainties rather than external circumstances. Because that belief? That’s where you’re heading, no matter what it may look like on the outside.”

So — then I should err on the side of leaning towards the good. I should be excited for what is before me, regardless of whatever might make me anxious at that moment, or about what I anticipate. Instead, believe it all to be good. Believe in my own worth, in my goodness, and greatness.

Believe it to be better than I can ever imagine.

How often do you wash your hair?

Posted by random olio

Did your grandma ever wash her hair? All my life I remember my grandma going to “get her hair done.” Each Saturday at noon she would go barely a mile from her house, and have her hair “set.” She never washed her hair any of the days between. She always used a shower cap. On Saturday when she would get her hair done, she would get it washed, set in curlers, dried, combed out and then of course the massive amounts of hair spray to keep it in place for a week.

Granny Smith and me in 2002

She went on Saturday so her hair would look best for church on Sunday and of course as the week went on it lost a bit of its oomph. Nevertheless, I am in awe that her hair was only washed once a week. I am psyched at my twice a week washing – going crazy as it gets closer to the day I wash it. How did she ever go an entire week? How did it not feel incredibly greasy? Of course she was not running the number of miles I do each day, so sweat was not a factor (especially with the air conditioning running most of the time she was indoors).

Not washing hair was how grandma grew up. It was normal to her. I do wonder today if women still get their hair set, or is that something that happens with older women? In the 1950’s, women only washed their hair once a week. As the article states you can use a dry shampoo made from cornstarch and baby powder as I do, to allow your hair to absorb extra oils, and resulting in not needing to wash your hair as often. I can attest that it works, but I know my grandma was not using cornstarch on her hair, so did it just get used to only being washed once a week?

What do you remember about your grandma? Did she wash her hair? Was it short or long? I just wonder if there is something we can learn from them in regards to our hair. Maybe we overly heat, straighten, add chemicals, and maybe we need to go natural, wash once a week and see what happens.