Nobody I would rather be with…

Posted by random olio

There are a few things I love in life. A great book, new ideas, learning something new about myself, chips, and while there are probably a ton of other things on my list, the one that tops them all is my husband. I never was a girl who dreamed of marrying, or had a wedding book, or even really gave a shit about the wedding, but what I think matters most is that I married my best friend, and he continues to be the best damn thing that ever happened to me.

So when I find a great book that talks about marriage, has a sassy rant throughout the book, and makes me appreciate my husband that much more, I call it good. I just finished a great book called: “The Longest Date: Life as a Wife” by Cindy Chupack. The cover might look cheesy, but let me tell you, Chupack was a writer on Sex and the City, and also writes for O Magazine (Oprah), that woman knows her stuff. She was able to peak our interest for many years (and how many of us wish that Sex and the City was still on the air)? I felt like she spoke right to me. She got me. She got marriage, and attempts into motherhood. She was flawed like we all are all the time. She spoke to my decade ago single self, she spoke to my married self, she spoke to my potential mother self. I think about this all the time pertaining to Chris:

“And I think now about how many of those nights we’ve had since, and how there is nobody I would rather talk to when I am feeling less than, nobody I would rather come home to after a hard day, and how wrong I was about you and us and what we could become. And unlike most people, I love being wrong. I love thinking I know the ending and then being surprised.” Page 33

I wholeheartedly agree. There is no one I would rather come home to than Chris, no one I would rather snuggle with when I have a rough day, feel sick, or just need to feel connected to him. No one I would rather talk about my day to (good or bad), and how clueless I was to how good life would be together. The only difference between me and Chupack: I do not love being wrong. I do not like surprises. Although I have felt I knew the ending and was then happily surprised, and sometimes that surprise is way better than we can ever imagine.

Read this book. It will make you smile. It will make you think about your marriage. If you are single or in a relationship you are not sure about, it will give you humorous clarity or levity. We only live once, life should be enjoyed. We should be pampered, and love every minute of spending time with our better half. They should inspire, encourage us, and elevate our game. So that we bring only goodness, joy, and happiness to those around us. So that the love we have with our better half pours out of us and we and those around us are never the same. Call me a sap, but how can I not be excited for the best date I have ever had?

Valentine’s Day: Every Damn Day

Posted by random olio

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have something to say, yes, I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Aw hell I am not a poet, I cannot write poetry, and…

…I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It probably started back in younger years when our schools would do a Valentine’s Gram delivery of roses + candy, and you always wondered whether or not you would receive one, whether it was from a friend, or a boy. I have high expectations, just ask Chris. On our first Valentine’s Day (I cannot remember if it was while dating or our first married Valentine’s Day), Chris was traveling and sent me flowers. They were tulips and when I opened the box, the flowers were dead. It was not Chris’ fault, but I was livid. I remember being quite clear that he never “send” me flowers again. He has honored my request.

Why does it make me happy to not receive flowers on Valentine’s Day by my amazing husband? On that very first Valentine’s Day together, I very clearly remember discussing it with him and telling him how much I detest Hallmark holidays. I just am not a fan. Why should corporate America tell us when we should shop, spend money, and love on our loved ones? It is bullshit. EVERYDAY should be a day that we love and pamper our loved ones. It does not mean that we have to give gifts, in fact I am actually not interested in gifts. I care more about how we treat, care, and love each other every single day of the year.

So, Chris and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yes, we might make a fun dinner together, and spend time together, but we do that every night that we possibly can. Yes, call us sappy, but see I still feel like I am in my honeymoon phase. I get excited to see my husband at the end of the day, and can text him near the end of the day to ask “when can we leave so I can see you, and oh, what is for dinner.” We might not have a relationship that is like many others, and we do not yet have kids, but we are close, tight, and well-connected. There are days that I worry about what bringing kids into the mix will do to our marriage, and I know it will be different, tough, precious, and make us grow in different ways. I digress, I still completely dislike Valentine’s Day. Who wants to fight over a table at a restaurant and pay double the price for a meal just so you can say you took out your loved one on Valentine’s Day? Why not do that once a month, or week? Why not find different ways to keep that love alive regardless of it being February 14?

So I veto Valentine’s Day, instead I think every damn day is Valentine’s Day. Every day should be about doting, loving, and finding ways to make the world better for your loved one. Love them so damn much. Hug them hard, cuddle with them, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget to tell how them how much you love them EVERY DAMN DAY.

Double fisting the fries

Posted by random olio

If you ask Chris, he would tell you I double fist my french fries, and I eat them like the world is about to end. He is right. I am not talking about drive-through french fries, I am talking about the perfect thickness, not too thin that they are crunchy/hard, and not so thick that they are almost pulpy in the middle, with just a slight crunch, and golden in hue. Topped with just the right amount of salt, and I am in heaven. Oh, and he is right, I will double fist them and fight you for what is left in the bowl.

Recently I finished reading “I’ll Seize the Day Tomorrow” by Jonathan Goldstein. The author writes a chapter for each week of the year leading up to his 40th birthday. It was not an amazing book, but interesting enough that I finished. He weaves humor throughout the book, and this particular quote, made me think about my two-handing my french fries:

“If manners are going out the window, then I’ll say this: Quit double-fisting the strawberries. I might want to have one myself.”

“How dare you!” he yells. “You’re the double-fister! Remember that time I ran into you on the street and you were eating from a bag of Cheerios with your left hand and a bag of Fritos with your right? Coming down the street you looked like you were wearing mittens.”

“I was wearing mittens.”

“Even worse! What grown man wears mittens?” page 35

Maybe it is all things salt. I am sometimes known to do the same with chips. Just the other day while stuck in our house due to all the snow, Chris and I had lime chips and guacamole. Before Chris had even one chip I had already made a dent in the bowl. He had gone into another room to get something and when he got back he said “hey, leave some for me.” Dig in quick buddy, you have got nothing on me. A little salt, some french fries or chips, and I am a goner.

Hug it out, release, remember that you are loved.

Posted by random olio

I used to be an intense hugger. Well, I still am, but I used to be with lots of people, now I am a lot more selective. Maybe time and the world has made me less of a hugger, but I remember as a very small child that I would hug with a fierceness and not let go. I am not sure what that was all about, but I can visually remember being a hardcore hugger. What happened? Did I learn that I had to be careful who I hugged? Did I not get hugs in return? I am not completely sure, but I know something shifted in my life and I became more aware and cautious about my hugging. Part of it saddens me. Why?

A hug is a wonderful thing. It can completely change a moment. You can be angry with your spouse, disagree, and they can encompass you with their entire body into a hug and it can make all the anger and frustration melt and ooze out of your body. A hug can essentially heal a moment.

A hug can comfort you. Have you ever had a time when you had no idea that something was bugging you and a friend or family member could tell that you need a hug? The moment you are embraced, you melt. You start with shedding a tear, and the comfort and safe arms around you turns you into a blubbering mess. It has happened to me with close friends, family members, and co-workers. A hug can release the most pent-up issues in life.

A hug can make you feel loved. In my marriage I am a hugger (well, we both are). Yes, I can share with you that of course I love the passion of a kiss, but a hug comforts, supports, and shares something deep. It reminds you that you matter. A hug can ground you and reinforce just how much you are loved.

Hug it out, release, and remember that you are loved. Right now. Today.

random olio 2013

Posted by random olio

I know most blogs probably look back at their year, so I am just another cliché. Yet I have to do it. I need to take a moment to ponder all that poured forth out of my mouth and my fingertips. It was fun to look back on some of my favorite posts of the year. A few of my favorites were of course about my better half, who inspires me, keeps me afloat, and well probably the most important, keeps the cranky me away because he feeds me. Other posts were about finishing my first 1/2 marathon, food, farts, and you know those days when your pants are on backwards. These were my top ten favorite posts of 2013 (in no particular order), okay so I could not stop at ten so you get a top thirteen:

Since life is not always about what is MY favorite. I thought I would also share the most read 2013 posts:

I hope you enjoyed my random mumblings, musings, and words this year. It has been an adventure of books, food, introspection, growth, and gratitude. Here is to many more blog posts in 2014!!